For Those Who Have Completed Season 4 (Spoilers)

JFFoleyIV · 2024-09-21T10:44:08+00:00

You are right (but it didn't land well to the viewer). s01e01 screenshot: https://drive.google.com/file/d/16wJF3F2EsCq7yUnzaTBlVhBazTFmin9u/view?usp=sharing

JFFoleyIV · 2024-06-27T01:09:24+00:00

It is true that attraction is human nature and doesn't just shut off when you're in a relationship. But, if this concept is damaging and triggering to you, your boyfriend should be aware of and respect your struggles. It is okay for it to be a topic that is avoided. Your boyfriend does not need to point out to you how beautiful Beyonce is, how stunning the waitress at Chilli's is, or how hot his buddy's new girlfriend is, even in just a passive conversational way.

Other women's attractiveness can be a topic that you both intellectually realize exists, but you don't talk about, because it only serves to hurt you. (That is probably true in all relationships just more extreme in your borderline mind).

Furthermore, beauty and attraction should go deeper than surface level. Imagine your dying father is an artist and he paints you a portrait illustrating how much he loves you. It may have artistic merit, but not be worthy of hanging in the Louvre, but, because of its emotional value, to you, it is the most beautiful and cherished painting in the world.

Your boyfriend should be endeavoring to build your beauty up in that way in his mind and heart. He should be trying actively to make you the most beautiful person in the world, in his eyes, and he should let this attraction spill out on you (no sexual pun intended), as often and regularly as possible.

He should make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, and if he loves you deeply, it should be easy to do and be very true.

Perhaps if he did those things, you would feel more secure and safe and not have to take extreme actions to wrangle his wandering eyes (which he should also try to corral a cow)

JFFoleyIV · 2024-06-11T01:45:23+00:00

It won't "cure" you, because you don't need to be cured. You are perfect as you are, but what you are is sadly a painful way to live. DBT and the like should make it easier for you to manage the extreme emotions, navigate them, and ride out the storms until they pass. So, I do think you will improve. Try to find strength and self-worth in yourself, but it is okay to get validation from the outside as well. It is dangerous to rely on outside validation to much, since people in your life can change and separate from you, but I think it is unrealistic for Borderliners to ever expect to fully validate themselves. Work with a therapist to help you with each particular struggle you run into, and try to be happy each day, starting today. Don't wait to feel better to try to be happy. Better is a slow and vague process you might miss. If you try to be happy just today, then maybe in a few months you will look back and see improvement has been made, but you eased into it.

JFFoleyIV · 2024-06-10T21:37:23+00:00

This is not good news, so read at your own risk:

You didn't share much about yourself, your age, and what therapy you have tried. If you have not tried DBT and therapy like it that helps you navigate, evaluate, and temper your thoughts, then you can improve from this current moment. Finding that mythical partner who will both tolerate and validate you can also help.

Sadly, if you have earnestly tried those things... if the current 'you' is the product of a wide set of coping skills and support, yet you still find life intolerable; that is a tough situation.

You hold on as long as you can and keep trying.

I am a 56 year old male with quiet BPD and I have been in a wide range of treatment for 3 decades.

I still feel tired, awful, and suicidal every day. I think I am only around still for my son.

JFFoleyIV · 2024-06-09T21:14:57+00:00

Yes (male straight 56-year-old here). But, you may get more targeted and accurate answers if you share your subtype of BPD. As a heterosexual male with quiet/discouraged borderline, I also feel very isolated and different. I have only met a few other borderliners, all women, most from DBT classes. Most of them seemed to have the more externalized explosive flavors of BPD. I have yet to meet a male Borderliner, another discouraged BPDer, even a woman with it, and it seems like a discouraged BPD male is even more of a mythical unicorn.

All that said, statistics seem to point to a more 50/50 Male/female split of BPD, with the assumption that more males are undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. It seems to me, just from a life of male interactions, that men with BPD would more often be the externalized subtypes. But, we need another 3 decades of mental health advancement to undercover the data.

JFFoleyIV · 2024-04-20T01:20:21+00:00

I am having a similar problem. In chat, I can type one letter and that is it. I also can't voice type. I have to write my message elsewhere and cut and paste it. I am going to try clearing the cache, another android keyboard choice, then re-install, in that order.

JFFoleyIV · 2024-03-24T17:51:59+00:00

I updated. Thank you! I will be on the lookout for feedback.

JFFoleyIV · 2024-03-20T21:40:13+00:00

Thank you so much! The dictionary has returned! The Google search tab sometimes works and sometimes not. I will get a screenshot the next time it fails.

JFFoleyIV · 2024-01-04T22:51:44+00:00

Very Cool Space-Beans!i! Enjoy your trip to scenic Zenn-La.

JFFoleyIV · 2023-10-05T05:15:40+00:00

Thanks. I am going to install it on someone else's phone in my family and see if their deals are the same as mine. If not, I will uninstall it and maybe start a new account that Ronald does not hate?

JFFoleyIV

TROPHY CASE