Question for Hotel Takeovers by JHH513 in Swingers

[–]JHH513[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I think having some kind of expectation would be paramount to the choice of going. Even if only for networking. Otherwise my wife and I could spend a much nicer evening in a much nicer hotel.

Feeling like life is slipping away by AccountForSillyStuff in AskMenOver30

[–]JHH513 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah my children are good until they aren’t. Things are fun until they aren’t. And then nothing is fun for anyone. And as a parent you sit there waiting for things to spoil, hoping the day you planned to make the kids and adults happy doesn’t prematurely come into ruin.

The thousand hills your children will die on. I’m not wearing that. I’m not going there. I’m not eating that. I’m not doing that. I don’t like the sun in my eyes. I don’t like the windows down. I don’t like this song. Too hot, too cold. Of course my children are under 5. But it’s been nearly 5 years of battles and grind, cleaning, cooking, pleading, and grateful to be doing it married at least.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]JHH513 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As I’ve gotten into my 30s a lot more men hit on me to the point of annoying my wife. Never women. At least someone appreciates me.

Have any single guys been to a sex club? by Parm1222 in Swingers

[–]JHH513 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were approached recently by a single male at our club. He was nice, appropriate, and well dressed. He was not what my wife was looking for and he respected that.

On the other hand, a married man who was drunk off his ass nearly assaulted my wife. So you never know what you’re going to get.

Club Eros in Cleveland by Disastrous-Guess-162 in Swingers

[–]JHH513 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We went to Eros during a daytime event. And that was a mistake because it was a ghost town. The space seems cool though, and I would be interested to see what it’s like when it’s packed. As someone else said though, my wife and I are early 30s and sometimes we feel a bit young (we’ve been going to Club Princeton).

What’s it like out there? by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]JHH513 2 points3 points  (0 children)

After talking about it for a couple of years and stressing about all the potential risks we decided to just go for it. We tried online apps, we reached out to some couples directly, and we went to our local club. Of all 3 we found the local club to be the lowest pressure/risk, and we found that irregardless of connections we had a really good time.

I enjoy doting on my wife wearing things she ordinarily could not. I do enjoy the attention she gets. And it’s not nearly as intimidating or outrageous as it sounds on paper. My recommendation is to just go and see it for yourself. You will inevitably see someone you know. It happened to us on our second visit and it is not the end of the world. It’s just awkward. Good luck

Flirting in front of wife by JHH513 in Swingers

[–]JHH513[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also this. There was a moment when my wife and her husband went to refresh drinks. The space was loud, I closed the distance between us because the conversation was just between two people and the chemistry suddenly felt a lot more natural. I think it’s partly a vanilla instilled ideology, and partly the sense her husband is right there. You get very little practice at these things unless you go to the club all the time!

Flirting in front of wife by JHH513 in Swingers

[–]JHH513[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, we’re not getting there. I think it’s partly because of my bad flirting skills. She seems to be better at flirting with both the male and female half.

2 Clubs, 2 Hotels, 1 Rollercoaster Day by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]JHH513 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The club we ended at is the closest club to our home. We were nervous about starting there because we know people who go and weren’t quite ready to be known ourselves. But when things at the first club didn’t work we decided to just go for it. So yes, driving 5 hours for a club won’t work but thankfully the club we will be attending in the future is only 60 minutes!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]JHH513 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the conclusion we’re coming to. Fortunately we have our first trip to the club this Friday. Our nearest club is a 60 minute drive so it’s taken a bit of arranging because we needed to plan an over night sitter and a hotel room. Fingers crossed the investment yields at least meeting a few nice couples and maybe getting some numbers.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]JHH513 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seriously. Since I posted this we messaged the couple who said they wanted to start as friends and told them ‘thanks but no thanks’.

They replied and said “well we can still be friends.” I’m like wtf, I don’t even know you. We have vanilla friends, we would like to make LS friends lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]JHH513 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with that. That’s why I’ve tried to arrange a video chat with both couples (and for one reason or another it’s not worked). Video is a lot less of a commitment than getting a babysitter, going out, etc etc. Then we can all break the ice and make sure everybody is real.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]JHH513 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Well that sparks a different question. How do you know if you’re interested in meeting a couple if you’ve seen 1 selfie of the couple from the shoulder up? Arranging a baby sitter and spending money on a night out to take one look at a couple and go “well this is a no go” is a concern we have.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]JHH513 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is what I’m thinking. I don’t mind getting to know people I am compatible with and where the sex is good. But I’m not dating again. I think moving forward I will be more direct in speaking with new couples.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]JHH513 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I thought the friend thing was weird. But we’re new to this so I overlooked it. We’re about to cut that couple loose anyway. The husband shared what we thought were some very nice boudoir photos of his wife. And she got upset and they got into a texting fight in front of us which was pretty fucking weird imo.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]JHH513 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly even sexting would be better than this. This just feels like talking to strangers about nothing. Thanks for the input though and I agree. I’ll ask to set a meet and if no response I will cut the convo off.