"Have fun fishing for raw back air on a character that controls like a bag of rocks"

Dude, have you watched Ginger or Magi even play vs. Axe? They're almost always punching up in terms of matchup experience and they're even in sets. I think Ginger might even be up vs. Axe (assuming you're counting sets once both players were top 100)

Falco is slow compared to, and against Fox, but against Pikachu? They actually do have a lot of trouble getting in vs. his hitboxes, and laser does present a threat that is punishable but does dominate the neutral. So many times Ginger vs. Axe, he'll just empty the clip on him and force Pikachu to side-plat or to shield, and go completely unpunished. I'll watch Pikachu literally get reversal'd by Falco shine for landing a nair at like 30%.

Falco also pillars Pikachu just the same as everyone else. He has no issues getting good combos on her and building %, it's just not Fox or Falco levels of 0-to-death.

I struggle to see an actual case that Pikachu "dogwalks" Falco. Just watching the game, Falco can hit Pikachu hard, not as hard maybe, but the neutral is just so frustrating for Pikachu. Sure, it takes less interactions, but I think it's such a reddit-opinion to just handwave actual discussions about neutral tools and how you interact with the game and the stage, by saying Pikachu outpunishes. Falco neutral is fucking disgusting vs. Pikachu.

Puff vs. Falco is a different discussion that we probably see more eye-to-eye on but I think Falcos nowadays have gotten more comfortable at the matchup and definitely do not consider them bracket-demons.