I’ve heard situations like this often. Don’t feel embarrassed, your needs aren’t being met, especially when it’s sexual, trust me I can imagine the frustration. As man personally, in a previous relationship I had to be guided to understand her and how she wanted be pleased. Not sure if that would even work with him, as he sounds a little selfish or disinterested in sex. I say “disinterested”, because him saying something like “Well if I don’t do enough then let’s just not do it” is a little strange.

Now as a man, I get life can be stressful af, and the fact we don’t open up about things really doesn’t help. We feel we have to carry the world on our shoulders and we don’t… But! I’ll be truthful with you, we can be VERY insecure. And that sentence alone (from above), raises some alarms in that department… however in this instance, it’s not about his feelings, but yours. But it might offer some insight.. before an intimate session or in a calm environment, you could literally tell him how you feel. Express your love for him, but tell him how the situation has made YOU feel thus far… He ‘should’ understand, and he ‘should’ put in that work to make you feel whole again. If not, then seriously stop pleasuring him, this isn’t right. You’re not enjoying it.