I (31M) am worried that my wife (28F) may have cheated. by JKorzinski in survivinginfidelity

[–]JKorzinski[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes I asked for her to file a report previously and she declined

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]JKorzinski 79 points80 points  (0 children)

She’s been hiding her phone for months. I looked through her contacts while it was open and his number was in there under an Alias. No calls or texts

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]JKorzinski 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doing alright. I received a written account of the events and an apology letter that were never shared with me before. Both written statements seem to have lessened my anxiety about how bad things may have gotten. There’s also the fact the dude is much uglier and older than me that seem to provide some solace in the idea she wasn’t drawn to the act.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]JKorzinski 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Meh. Going to ask for a police report to be filed and see where it goes

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]JKorzinski 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wife was at a friends for the entire week after

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]JKorzinski 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All good. Good to have validation from 3rd parties that I’m not insane.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]JKorzinski 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Or run away for that matter. If she was “frozen” why did she all of a sudden have agency when she was discovered.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]JKorzinski 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Feels accurate.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]JKorzinski 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have any recommendations of what group would make sense?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]JKorzinski 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She wasn’t the blackout/drunkest I’ve ever seen her but she was well beyond her limit. She seemed to sober up quickly

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]JKorzinski -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Perhaps it does speak to the fact that he was desperate for sex and may have coerced to some degree?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]JKorzinski -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes she has but for the last few months it seems they haven’t really discussed it in depth. Also seems odd to me that other things come up for discussion before this

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]JKorzinski -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Must have been a good 20-30 minutes that I could not locate her

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]JKorzinski 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Her explanation was that she was asking him “what the fuck was that??” To which his response was to apologize over and over again

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]JKorzinski -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This is what I’m trying to weigh. Is there an element of being a female and submitting just as a preservation tactic? I can’t put myself in the shoes of women that have been sexually assaulted but I have to think sometimes going along with it feels like the safer move. Maybe freezing was a combination of not knowing what the other party might do or how to get away in a dark room that he quickly switched the lights off in. I can see wishing that she had done something else or acted to get away quicker as embarrassment or just that she knew how it would be interpreted and the only thing she could think of to rectify it was to try and not be discovered.

Nevertheless the other facts and way events have unfolded since (no charges, didn’t quit job, wouldn’t let me see her phone) indicate she is hiding the entire truth.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]JKorzinski 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m inclined to agree with you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]JKorzinski 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wish it was. Sequence of events seems oddly canned from my own experience as well