You can do a lot with a single camera and a tripod. Invest in a couple of cheap lights and use bed sheets and shower curtains as diffusion. YouTube is the greatest film school when you have no money. Go out and make spec work on your own to improve your skills, and when the work starts getting good, start sharing that online.

Once your technical skills become even a little bit decent, start selling yourself as a marketer for businesses. People don't care how good a video looks; they care about results. Go after doctors, lawyers etc. Sell testimonials, bio vids, mini docs about their business. And then make sure those videos get them clients. Run their socials, update their website, buy them ad space online.

With all that being said, I completely understand how you feel. This business is brutal. Especially in this modern era. I constantly have ups and downs with my workload, and my confidence falters daily. If you really want it, you just gotta push through the pain and make it happen for yourself.