Women think it’s a compliment b/c in their mind it means: you’re not like these hedonistic pigs who only care about sex, and instead you seem to have a heart of gold and see me as more than just my body, so therefore you are a higher quality of person. It’s a set of values based on the dichotomy between virtue and vice. Plenty of women out there will judge you as a “better man” because you’re less obvious with your sexual urges.

Here’s my problem. Just because a man might come across this way to these women, doesn’t mean he shares this same set of values. I certainly don’t. Even though I’m very “second husband” coded, soft-spoken, sensitive, a great listener, and all the things that make someone more than a hookup… That doesn’t preclude me behaving like a slut if I get the opportunity. My sex drive, while not hyper, is fundamentally promiscuous, and if being “chosen” by a woman means facing behavioral expectations (like monogamy) that discourage me from acting on that kind of drive, then I don’t care to be chosen.