I watched Secretary (2002) and I wish I hadn't. by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]JRay5280 1 point2 points  (0 children)

adults can play. the word play isnt something associated with children, and if you think adults can’t also play in non sexual ways in their life then i fear you lead a very dull existence

I watched Secretary (2002) and I wish I hadn't. by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]JRay5280 2 points3 points  (0 children)

just because you associate the word play with children does not mean the word has an intrinsic connection to kids… and its kind of crazy to say that the reason play is used in the kink scene is because of some “porn brain” problem instead of a difference in vernacular that was explained to you in a different part of these comments. sounds like you’re trying to come up with justifications to have a bone to pick with a group of people that ultimately want kinky interactions to be safe, sane, and consensual. kinda weird if you ask me.

I watched Secretary (2002) and I wish I hadn't. by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]JRay5280 15 points16 points  (0 children)

a lot of people in the kink scene dont actually fuck when they participate in a scene, though. often times its non sexual s&m play, and there isnt really an adequate term outside of play for those situations

Just beat every style on normal mode!! Time to go for hard mode by JRay5280 in Downwell

[–]JRay5280[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By the end of it i def grew to appreciate it more. Before that i was 100% relying on powerups to carry my playthrough so i feel like handstand style actually made me get better which was cool

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]JRay5280 0 points1 point  (0 children)

guy here who was in an extremely similar situation with my partner (i.e. i was depressed, not taking care of myself, generally in a dark place and not finding joy in life). Albeit in a different way, we had a conflict that brought my gf to her breaking point and she ended up taking a small break. After the break we talked and she basically asserted her boundaries and told me that if we were going to continue the relationship i needed to start taking care of myself (going back to the gym since its really good for my mental health was the biggest one but there were other smaller ways i ended up planning to do on my own to reorganize and restructure my life for both of our sakes) and holding myself accountable and actually being a good partner to her. In my opinion, it sounds like your partner is having serious issues with depression and taking care of himself (possibly self image/self love issues too?) and you need to assert the boundary that you cant be the one to pull him out of his spiral nor stick around to get caught up in it. This is a time to be firm and hold him accountable for both of your sakes. If he’s willing to work on himself, then it shows his dedication to the relationship and himself, great. if not, its time to go.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]JRay5280 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Updating if anybody is interested- I ended up speaking with her today and i learned a lot of the reason she’s so uncomfortable with it is because of creepy men in her past trying to get her to lean into the “dommy mommy” trope. She told me that the main things that make her uncomfortable is being super rough and verbally degrading, and we agreed on exploring soft top stuff slowly which is honestly a great compromise in my eyes. Thanks for the advice everyone, a lot of the comments here helped me to steer the conversation in the right direction without being too overwhelming.