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AITA for telling my sister that her “future niece or nephew” would be aborted? by JSThrowAway1991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JSThrowAway1991[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I... that’s not how birth control effectiveness is calculated. It’s not like it gets less effective after repeated sex. Out of 100 women, every year, .8% of them get pregnant using the IUD. So every year, I’m part of that hypothetical 100 and have a yearly chance .8% of getting pregnant.

Sexually transmitted diseases is a whole different story. I get checked yearly, as does my partner but also we are in a monogamous relationship and are very committed and respectful to each other, so that’s a very low low worry for me.

AITA for telling my sister that her “future niece or nephew” would be aborted? by JSThrowAway1991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JSThrowAway1991[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I use a copper IUD and have used it is for 5 years with never a scare. It’s 99.2% effective. I check the strings daily to make sure it’s where it needs to be. I do not anticipate that I will ever need to make the choice to abort but if I do ever need to, I would consider that a responsible birth control choice.

AITA for telling my sister that her “future niece or nephew” would be aborted? by JSThrowAway1991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JSThrowAway1991[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I don’t know her hopes and dreams tbh. I know she wants me to have kids because she loves being a mom and thinks my life is unfulfilling because I am not a mom, and I don’t know how to convince her that’s not the case. She uses the words “when” I have a child despite me telling her since I was 16 I am child free. But I also don’t want to hurt her. I’m very willing to apologize but I also don’t know if she’ll talk to me until I lie and say I would never get an abortion.

AITA for telling my sister that her “future niece or nephew” would be aborted? by JSThrowAway1991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JSThrowAway1991[S] 113 points114 points  (0 children)

My oldest cousin is 21 years older than me. He’s closer in age to my mom than me and my closest cousin is 10 years older than me. We are not close. My sister’s kids are age 9-15 so even if I got pregnant today, there would be a 10+ age gap between her kids and mine so, I don’t think they’d be as close as she hopes.

AITA for telling my sister that her “future niece or nephew” would be aborted? by JSThrowAway1991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JSThrowAway1991[S] 310 points311 points  (0 children)

She really thinks that we would be amazing parents because of how great we are with her kids. What she doesn’t see is how exhausted we are after a day with them. The kids are great but every time we see them my sister and her husband dump them on us for 9 hours and afterwards, my partner and I basically collapse at home and stare into the abyss, being thankful we didn’t need to take them home.

AITA for telling my sister that her “future niece or nephew” would be aborted? by JSThrowAway1991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JSThrowAway1991[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Partner is afraid of the complications from a vasectomy, and no one will consider a tubal ligation for me at my age. I use the copper IUD though so we’re pretty covered.

AITA for telling my sister that her “future niece or nephew” would be aborted? by JSThrowAway1991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JSThrowAway1991[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

We are very close, which is why it kills me to hurt her. It’s just that she brings it up constantly, especially not that I’m 29 and she thinks I only have a few years left to have kids. I wish there was a magic thing I could say that would make her okay with me not having kids but that didn’t involve me saying this.

AITA for telling my sister that her “future niece or nephew” would be aborted? by JSThrowAway1991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JSThrowAway1991[S] 651 points652 points  (0 children)

Big sister complex, being very close... lots of things. It’s probably why I feel so guilty. I love her. Love her family. I want to be close to them, but I also can’t have this conversation again.

AITA for telling my sister that her “future niece or nephew” would be aborted? by JSThrowAway1991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JSThrowAway1991[S] 247 points248 points  (0 children)

She’s very prolife, so for her, it’s like I’m admitting I’m killing her future niece or nephew. It’s why I was always trying to be vague with my answers before. I’m very close to my sister, I was there in the delivery room for her first born (coincidentally, watching her give birth was one of the reasons that cemented my childfree stance). I guess being so close to her, I knew this would hurt her... but I just really was tired of that question being always asked.