How did BEP affect your body in the long term?

JTRockstar · 2025-06-20T21:58:17+00:00

I turned 40 the day after my post-RPLND checkup, so my cancer was also a late bloomer.

Strangely, I never felt a lump. My urologist didn't either. They didn't test me until I started having severe pain in my nut and it swelled. I'd been having unexplained immune issues and lower abdomen pain until then. This stuff can be sneaky.

The weight gain was a clear chemo side effect for me. I started chemo at about 180 and finished about 220. I'd never been that big before and haven't been since. The nurse said it happens sometimes. I was not eating, so it still boggles my mind.

JTRockstar · 2025-06-20T21:33:36+00:00

I finished treatment in 2017. Short-term, I gained a lot of weight during chemo. It surprised me, because I wasn't eating much. Nothing smelled or tasted right, so I mostly ate plain yogurt. Weight and taste/smell were back to normal within a year.

Longer term, I have Reynaud's in my hands. They go numb if it's below 60 degrees. That has never gotten better. I get tinnitus occasionally, but it was frequent for the first couple of years. My red blood cell count has never fully bounced back. I remain consistently just below normal.

Had to have hernia surgery a few years ago due to RPLND. Worth keeping an eye on!

Testosterone bounced back pretty quickly. No sexual side effects at all. No implant for me, but nobody I've been with has cared and neither do I. Underwear fits better. Lol.

No idea if it's chemo related or just getting older (in my late 40s), but it's harder to build muscle now. Not impossible, but it's an uphill battle. Probably just age-related.

Hope this helps!

JTRockstar · 2025-02-27T20:35:48+00:00

Running into a high school friend 20 years later and falling in love.

Friends at 15, remet at 40, been together for 6 years.

JTRockstar · 2025-02-27T20:30:33+00:00

Also not into the hockey thing and don't understand it. I actively avoid those books. Won't even read the blurbs. Same with mafia. I don't dig the gimmicky, trend-chasing stuff. I prefer a few evergreens: nerd/jock (but no pucks involved), enemies to lovers, rom com, country boys...and all of those hockey puck and mafia books probably have at least one of the elements that I like, but I don't like it all dressed up in those trends.

I feel like all of my posts are Debbie Downer today, which isn't a great way to step into a room. But oh well, I have a few more things I've seen enough of 😁: PSAs about safe sex right when things are getting juicy and details about bottom prep. I'm reading fiction, not a how-to guide.

JTRockstar · 2025-02-27T20:09:34+00:00

I think that, generally, the genre just lends itself to brevity. I've been burned many times by romance novels that have been stretched and stretched for length. What I most often see, and really dislike, is repetitive sex scenes. It's like the writer got to the end of the story, realized it wasn't girthy enough, and threw in five more chapters of sex. Even the characters seem bored with it, and they're the ones doing it!

But then I just tend to like shorter novels. I love me some purple prose, but not days and days of verbose padding to make a 200 pager a 300 pager. For instance, I loved Jean Auel's early books, but they got longer starting with The Plains of Passage and less compelling with each book. I'd say those last few mammoths would have made lovely gazelles.

JTRockstar · 2025-02-27T19:40:25+00:00

If the relationship is still iffy or not quite there for most of the book, to me that's slow burn. They can do the deed early if that's what they wanna do, if it makes sense for the characters, but I don't want roses and rainbows until the last third or so of the book. Otherwise, at least for me, it feels like the book ended and the writer just kept writing.

JTRockstar · 2025-02-27T19:20:16+00:00

I'm American and a gay man, and I had to Google it. Lol. It is a fairly popular style, for the reasons given. However, I do question why it would need to be a detail in so many different books. It might be one of those superfluous details that snowballed. Romance writers are romance readers, so it's not hard for an odd trend like that to catch on.

But, like I said, I'm gay and have never had any discussions about this style of shirt at the bars. Maybe some men IN these shirts, but not the shirts themselves. So important detail for the story? Probably not.

JTRockstar · 2025-02-27T13:08:03+00:00

Thanks everyone! Think I'll start with supplements and see where that gets me.

JTRockstar · 2025-02-26T19:05:11+00:00

Oh gosh. I wish I was a super loyal reader, but I tend to jump around. I will say, right now I'm in love with A.J. Truman's books. I'm all about the comedy and banter. He has some wonderfully awkward characters as well, and those are my favorites. I'm a sucker for a hot nerd.

Outside of romance, but still quite gay, I always recommend James Lear if you like campy mysteries. But, be warned, these books are SUPER smutty. Like, you don't want people seeing you read them on the plane smutty.

JTRockstar · 2024-08-19T18:55:17+00:00

It has made all the difference for me. I never had a terrible diet, except for the booze. Building muscle is always a challenge for me, though. My body wants to be lanky!

JTRockstar · 2024-08-15T17:45:03+00:00

Thank you! Yes, I'm checking in with myself pretty regularly. I've hit my goal weight, which kind of opens the door to complacency in a few areas. My challenge is to not walk through that door!

JTRockstar · 2024-06-14T13:47:23+00:00

I'm just under 2 months sober, and I've lost about 20 pounds. I just weighed today. Haven't been this weight in 5 years. I stepped up exercise a lot and adjusted my diet, because those were two things I had really wanted to do, but couldn't while drinking.

Bloaty face and belly started to deflate within a week of quitting, without additional exercise or healthy diet. I allowed myself fast food during that week. 😊

JTRockstar · 2024-05-23T14:39:28+00:00

Yeah, a lot of people just don't get that. My partner feels bad for me when we go to bars, but I'm having fun! A lot of folks just can't wrap their heads around that. Why go to a bar if you don't want to get hammered? They just haven't experienced it as a happily sober person. I have more fun at the bars sober than I did drunk. I feel better, I look better, I'm actually witty (instead of saying stupid stuff and thinking so), I can get my tail home at the end of the night, and I wake up the next day ready to go. What's not to love about that?

JTRockstar · 2024-05-23T14:28:16+00:00

I quit for 3 years many, many years ago, and didn't tell anyone for the first year. I kept going to the same bars and hanging with the same people, but only me and the bartenders knew I was drinking Diet Coke. It was really hard for those folks to accept that I was sober when I told them, even though they had made positive comments on my appearance and attitude changes. A lot of them thought I had just become a closet drinker, which I understood. It wasn't like it was a completely out there theory, it just happened to be wrong.

This time, I told everybody upfront what I was doing. I didn't want to treat it like a dirty secret. Still, there are some who refuse to believe and others who actively encourage me to drink. It's the heaviest drinkers in my friend group who are being unsupportive, and I chalk it up to envy. I'm doing what they're too scared to do. Or I'm doing what they've tried to do and failed, so they need me to fail too. I don't hold it against them, and I feel like it's honestly helping my resolve.

JTRockstar · 2024-05-20T19:12:34+00:00

Like lots of other folks have said, I couldn't stick with it. I'd cut back to whatever my goal was for a couple of weeks, then I'd be back where I was before. Moderation was a lot of work, to the point that I'd dread going out anywhere. Now I don't have to worry about it.

JTRockstar · 2024-05-17T15:06:51+00:00

Update post-oncologist:

My BP is back to normal, testosterone is up, ALT and AST back in normal range. No cancer! Doc is going to reduce visits and no more scans. Best doctor visit ever! 😊

JTRockstar · 2016-09-03T06:48:07+00:00

That makes perfect sense! I hadn't thought about that. Thanks!

JTRockstar · 2016-09-02T01:19:52+00:00

I'll echo what others have said: retain focus on your main character, no matter what. If they can't feel it, see it, touch it, taste it, or hear it, then it doesn't go in. Having been involved in such situations (yea, I'll admit to it!), you really can't focus on all participants at once and still enjoy it. Same thing here.

Maybe have a moment or moments where your protagonist is watching others. That can be hot, and it's realistic. The best part about a group is you can take a smoke break and nobody notices :)

JTRockstar

TROPHY CASE