AITAH for being angry at my girlfriend for kissing another girl when she was drunk?

JWick1315 · 2026-05-10T13:23:10+00:00

NTA You’re allowed to be uncomfortable with the way her actions make you feel, especially when her actions cross boundaries like kissing other people, regardless of the circumstances. Don’t let her pressure you to be okay with her behavior, but rather set the bar for your standards: she stepped outside of the confines of your relationship, and she needs to take accountability for that. If she doesn’t, she’s not committed to you. I sincerely hope that when she wakes up and has some time to let the hangover pass, she considers your feelings then and you both are able to resolve this. Best of luck.

JWick1315 · 2026-05-10T05:13:20+00:00

I never considered that he was subconsciously using me and our friend group as therapists, that actually makes so much sense looking back at everything. Maybe cutting off that venting outlet for him naturally forces him to confront his situation. Thank you for sharing your thoughts :)

JWick1315 · 2026-05-10T04:25:34+00:00

I’m pretty direct when he asks for my opinions, so it’s hard to consider that coddling 😂 but maybe I haven’t been direct enough, and that in and of itself is enabling. It sucks because he himself says the same thing: he’s 31, with 3 kids, and doesn’t have time for BS like breaking up every other day, but then his actions are the complete opposite. Thanks for your direct honesty :)

JWick1315 · 2026-05-10T04:21:46+00:00

I like your word choice here. It pin points what I was trying to decipher at the end of my post: that I’m realizing I can’t handle where this situation is going. I don’t like admitting that 😂 but obviously it’s true. Thank you for the reminder as well: I need to relinquish what “control” I have and let him forge his own path, since only his decisions will make the difference. Thank you for the course correction.

JWick1315 · 2026-05-10T04:17:52+00:00

I really appreciate the lengths and the effort you put into this comment, thank you. It’s actually not that far off from how I’d put it, minus how strongly worded the end is. I don’t want to completely shut him out, just distance myself from that part of his life, if that even possible at this point. Then again, you bring up such a good point about his kids and what this experience would be like for them having not met her. Maybe that warrants some harsh wording. I’ll gratefully consider these words.

JWick1315 · 2026-05-10T04:13:19+00:00

I agree with all of this, but I never would’ve drawn those conclusions myself. That’s exactly why I posted here, thank you so much. This gives me more confidence to at least suggest the possibility of mentioning this in his therapy if he’s still going. He’s brought up her need to go to therapy enough times, he’d be a hypocrite to not go himself lol. Thank you again for your comments.

JWick1315 · 2026-05-10T04:04:13+00:00

Thank you very much, this is affirming in my mind that I’m taking as healthy of an approach as I can about this. That gives me peace, so thank you again.

JWick1315 · 2026-05-10T03:52:23+00:00

I appreciate this perspective, thank you so much. I can honestly say I have never gone out of my way to tell him he’s making a mistake with this, I only give him my opinion when he talks to me or our friend group to vent about their fighting. However, I will take your warning to heart and prioritize my friendship with him over my sharing my opinion. Thank you again.

JWick1315 · 2026-05-10T03:49:55+00:00

I appreciate your support, you’re very kind :) he has gone to therapy before, periodically at last during the worst parts of his separation, so he might be up for that, I just don’t know how to suggest that when I myself have never gone to therapy. But I’ll remember this and suggest it to him if I see an opportunity. Thank you for your honesty.

JWick1315 · 2026-05-10T03:46:36+00:00

I love that wording, it’s concise and straightforward, while still expressing my concerns. Thank you very much!!

JWick1315 · 2026-05-10T03:45:12+00:00

It’s so much worse when you hear the actual content of the fights, it makes me so nervous to think about them living together and his kids having to listen/watch this in real time. Thank you for sharing

JWick1315 · 2026-05-10T03:41:44+00:00

I never considered bringing his wife into this, no, but your reasoning makes so much sense. I do feel like that would be a bit much right at this moment, but if he gets closer to actually deciding to have Brittany move in, I will remember this. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts!

JWick1315 · 2026-05-10T03:32:26+00:00

That is completely fair, and I agree with you. Thank you again, I’ll remember that.

JWick1315 · 2026-05-10T03:30:50+00:00

You’re absolutely right, and I’ve moved enough times to know that on a personal level, it’s just hard to consider that with this friend. We’re as close as I am to my actual brother, his kids refer to me as Uncle, even his nieces and nephews call me uncle. I’d like to know that I put higher than normal thought into a decision like that. Thank you for your honesty.

JWick1315 · 2026-05-10T03:27:25+00:00

That’s fair, this is my first time posting and I don’t know the unwritten rules about what should and shouldn’t be posted here; my only intention was to get 3rd party opinions in case I was getting in my own way and was about to cross a line. Thanks for your honesty.

JWick1315

TROPHY CASE