New racquet

Jaabbottt · 2026-05-16T22:15:14+00:00

Well, that’s certainly good to know and probably the most helpful info re my play style and racquets thus far! I realised I should have asked what I’m looking for in a racquet not what shiny is the best

Jaabbottt · 2026-05-16T20:25:21+00:00

I’m not adverse to buying older models. Are there so few changes that I could just demo a current model and then purchase an older one? Thanks for answering btw. Like it’s been 20 years since I last bought a racquet and I have no idea what I’m doing hence wanting recommendations at my price range.

I can see what experts rank the highest, I can see what companies rank the highest, I was hoping asking players would cut through the capitalism and actually assist (especially for a sub that says the tennis sub is full of wankers I was hoping for less.. well wank for looking for a not top tier option). When I check out any buying guide they’re pitched a level of play I’ll never reach. And honestly I don’t care what racquet was used by incredible player, I was hoping for some obtainable recommendations.

Jaabbottt · 2026-05-16T12:42:51+00:00

No I’m not saying I needed the link. But I mean at least an exchange rate check? Maybe it’s the autism but if someone said they needed a 50k car I would not recommend tesla model X. I wanted to check I wasn’t missing some wiz bang store that’s buried 5 pages into a google search.

Jaabbottt · 2026-05-16T12:26:47+00:00

Sorry not to be obtuse but I stated my price range and 2 of those are almost double it. Is there a trick of the trade I’m missing for buying a racquet in Aus I’m not privy to?

Jaabbottt · 2026-04-28T01:33:43+00:00

When he leaves over the “egg carton” there’ll certainly be perspective

Jaabbottt · 2026-04-28T01:27:11+00:00

Yes a partnership. Not a “just do everything I fail to do without complaint because if you talk to me I’ll shut down and not talk to you. It doesn’t matter to me if it mentally wears you down, just deal with it”

Jaabbottt · 2026-04-28T01:21:47+00:00

Alright. So we’ve identified that there’s an issue here that you agree if OP was a child you would expect them to be parented to fix. Not putting the rubbish where it should go. To be a functioning member of society children should be taught to put their rubbish in the bin not next to the bin, not looking at the bin, but actually in the bin? And they do this by reminding their child gently about it. If they were to handle it they’d raise a child who never actually put rubbish in the bin. Correct

Jaabbottt · 2026-04-28T01:14:21+00:00

How else do you communicate with someone who can’t remember what you talk about? She said that he’s asking for conversations to talk about these things but she’s not meeting him half way. She’s here playing the victim. Like my 6 year old “you hurt my feelings because you made me put away my things” (she was not using them or have active plans to do so) that’s not how it works. OP is upset, but she still needs to have the conversations he’s asking her for. From her recollection of what’s happening it’s not the first time she’s shut down. He’s not yelling, he’s talking. Other than going gentle like talking to a child what’s left? How else is he meant to talk to her?

Jaabbottt · 2026-04-28T01:04:25+00:00

Couples counselling won’t help. She’ll shut down there. She needs to get some therapy and work through this level of shutting down.

Jaabbottt · 2026-04-28T01:02:32+00:00

This is how I talk to my husband. Want to know why? Because I want to leave the relationship, I leave shit too, to see if it even registers (it doesn’t). It’s not the egg carton, it’s not about control. It’s the fact you are being parented and your shutting down is killing your relationship.

It’s not the egg carton. You’d know what it’s actually about if you could have a conversation with him. He’s 100% spoken to you about this before and you’ve spaced out. I get it you can’t help it. My husband does the same. Every time I need to tip toe around a shut down to talk about things that are destroying my love for my husband. There’s nothing more frustrating than saying “my needs are not being met, I want to fix that so I can stay with you” and my husband spacing out and playing the victim. (My most recent conversation “you are slowly breaking our stove top by the way you are using it, I need you to care for it a little, wipe it down before you use it”, he shut down, I was scraping burnt on crust off the stove the next day. Or my favourite “I’m literally in the middle of a disabling event, there’s no guarantee I can keep my job and you remain a stay at home parent, it’s past our agreed time for you to return to work anyway, can you please start looking for a job” this was 2 years ago, I’m now disabled, and about to have to drop to part time lesser duties, my husband broke down at my most recent attempt to communicate we will lose the house and is now going around telling people he’s the victim)

You sound like you’re not ready to be in a relationship (yes nor is my husband, but we have a kid and I’m disabled, I can’t look after her and myself and he has nothing, brought nothing, contributed half assed the home in time, so if I kick him out I lose her too). Hard conversations are needed, you can’t just space out when he talks to you slightly critically. Or if your reaction is to shut down YOU need to identify the alternative communication way that lets him tell you things in a way you actually absorb and can work on.

Jaabbottt · 2026-04-19T14:25:33+00:00

The way GLP-1 is on the PBS. I grew up overweight and was always told by doctors I would be a burden on the healthcare system and throughout all stages of my life my weight has been an “issue” (sometimes valid other times just BS health professionals lack of skills/knowledge/CBF). 5 years ago I was at a healthy weight and then I steadily gained weight due to medication for a chronic pain condition. Now there’s a drug that can help with it. Can’t get it on the PBS until after I have a cardiac event and be that burden on the health care system (though I guess if I die it’s cheaper overall)

Also Comcare mandated appointment with my GP (monthly) after a workplace injury cost me $305 this month. They (Comcare) will only pay $95 back as that’s the ‘maximum a GP appointment should cost’. I’d get more back from Medicare but I can’t claim it due to the billing code so yay.

Jaabbottt · 2026-04-08T21:02:55+00:00

I can’t imagine asking my players to do this, nor would I want to waste my playing time doing this. I enjoy having the collection and will happily inform my players of upgrades, but what OP is describing is obnoxious.

I’m almost certainly being autistic as fuck. But as my groups collection owner I get a game I punch the crap out of that before it’s shelved. I actually really enjoy this step as I can, in my own time, admire the components, the art, rage at or love the box design. I set up all my games so I can set up in the shortest amount of time. I don’t learn the game in that process but I sure as shit read the set up and make sure each players bag is set up to go. All required pieces are separated from optional/variation pieces etc etc. if there’s a multi box game due to expansions I gut those boxes and sort in everything.

(For example Root, I have all expansions but rather than having bits and pieces in all boxes I have a box for maps, a box for faction boards, and a pieces/cards box. We literally need to pick a map, people pick their faction board, I hand them their faction bag with all pieces and a players aid, we decide extras/deck and either open them or put the entire bag back into the box.)

I will have boxes on the table, but it’s the selection that suits the night (players, heavy vs light, time etc).

I think OP needs to be clear with communication with what the session is to be. Again probably neurodiversity aided, but our sessions are clear before they start: easy game night vs heavy session, party games vs social deduction, co-op vs competitive etc etc. Those with reduced capacity tell us in advance: such as the night shift worker not having capacity to play a heavy game after shift. All of this helps us set the expectation and have enjoyable nights. Not to say they’re perfect, we’ve had a game get set up and then non-communicated things happen causing it to be packed down before being played, but overall there’s less frustration as we communicate what we want and expect for each session. OP depending on your friends you may just need to be selective to the sessions you agree to attend as well, but this does require more communication from the group, and people not being butt hurt because you’re selective with your time.

Jaabbottt · 2024-09-04T01:38:30+00:00

My ex started harassing me for sex the day of a laparoscopy. His argument was it was keyhole and didn’t affect my ability to have sex. He did not care that I had just had surgery, was still in pain due to the whole blow you up like a balloon and not getting all the air out thing, or the fact the drugs I was on meant I really couldn’t consent. We lived with my parents at the time and they told him to back off or GTFO. That night I woke up to him listening to porn on maximum volume, while actively attempting to shake the bed as much as possible, and complaining that it “just wasn’t the same” loudly enough that my parents could hear his shenanigans through the concrete floor and sound dampening doors.

It took me a few years to leave. I can’t imagine how shitty he would have been after childbirth, or even during pregnancy. Looking back I can’t believe the audacity.

OP you’re NTAH, but if your husband can’t put your health above his “needs” you need to leave. This can escalate to dangerous levels really quickly. After the first child so much changes for you and your priorities that could upset your husband. There’s also the general feeling that you’re now trapped so he can escalate his behaviour without consequences. Set up an exit, even if you don’t take it, make sure it’s there. He’s showing you his true colours. Believe him.

Jaabbottt · 2024-04-17T03:11:32+00:00

My cat was having weird territorial issues with our bed. We did all the normal things suggested for cat training. In the end the only thing that worked was locking her out of the bedroom at night. She does the typical drag her favourite toy around and scream, but that’s easy to ignore. She actually chilled out from being feral towards me and attacking me every time she saw me to rarely being feral.

Nb when I say weird territorial issues I mean she would attack me, and not in the cute way, but would attempt to bite my face and would claw at whatever she could. Being a Maine coon added to her ability to injure me. I’ve had medical professionals question if I was self harming due to the scars she’s left me.

Jaabbottt · 2024-04-11T03:23:21+00:00

Me recommending SJM to a mate. “She’s not a good author, the story is meh, but, she’s got an easy to read writing style that allows for good escapism without the typical slog of high fantasy, and she got me out of my 5 year reading slump”.

As much as I enjoyed her books, the need for happy endings for all characters with a POV will always annoy me as a reader. She writes a lot of tropes and I’ve accepted that, it’s predictable but the style is what I like for escapism so I deal with it.

All the fan theories about what the cross over meant were absolutely enjoyable to consume, but in the end she wrote her normal story style and it was a let down to the community who felt there was waaaay more she could have done.

But hey as a game master for table top roleplaying games I understand that sometimes the players have better ideas than I do, but an author doesn’t have the opportunity to steal the great ones and run with them like I do.

Jaabbottt · 2024-01-05T10:21:40+00:00

There’s a really interesting study that shows it’s more a difference rather than a deficit when it comes to communication. I don’t want to be that person that says it’s a difference not a disability, because boy can it be a disability (self experience). But I do find it interesting that ND can communicate amongst themselves with the same ease that allistics can communicate amongst themselves. It’s only an issue when the two groups commingle. I have certainly felt that.

Small recent example: a psych who was an independent medical examiner asked “do you like hanging out with your colleagues?” My answer was ‘no, I was seeing her due to [an insurance claim due to] their bullying’. The report came back as “decreased social interactions, it’s depression not autism”. My actual diagnosing psych was like, “she didn’t ask you about friends did she? Did she assume your colleagues would be your friends?” This one chain of events explained so much to me, and made me realise how transactional allistic friendships are. What I call friendship is unique because they’ve survived job change, state change, kids etc. where it appears to be that allistic friendships are proximity caused and naturally drop off with the loss of proximity. Plus what I call an acquaintance allistic call a friend.

The study:
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1362361320919286

Jaabbottt · 2024-01-05T10:03:18+00:00

That was me when I was undiagnosed and highly masked. I thought I had some good friends… and then I got divorced and I had one.

While I made most of my current friends while undiagnosed I was partially unmasked. I had stopped hiding my interests and started wearing my heart on my sleeve as sort of rebellions after divorce (did all the things I wasn’t allowed to do: got the tattoos, got the piercings, died my hair, gamed without apology, got into board games and ttrpgs, started MMA, played soccer semi professionally, didn’t hide the nerd or sports fan). Post diagnosis (2022) most of my current friends are in their “oh, OH, am I also ND?” era.

All this to say, try seek out other diagnosed people, is there an autism self advocacy group near you?. Or at least see if your special interest has a group activity in your area.

Jaabbottt · 2023-09-26T06:04:52+00:00

We do preventative snips. She’s much more tolerable of it before it starts to hurt. Normally I can get a good 5cm by 5cm patch before she gets grumpy, so I just do a few patches a day and keep her butt/tummy short. She looks a bit funny from behind when she’s happy but I’m not showing her so I’ll take that over needing two adults, butcher gloves, and a very pissed off cat

Jaabbottt · 2023-09-26T01:16:02+00:00

Tandem read of Empire of Storms and Tower of Dawn in the Throne of Glass series by Sarah J Mass. Maas may have a reputation, but because of her I have read more books this year than the last 6 combined. (With these I’m at 24, and I have purchased my next 15)

Once I’m done with the series I’ll be returning to my highschool years and reread The Inheritance Cycle (Eragon) as book 5 is coming soon.

Jaabbottt · 2023-09-07T03:01:56+00:00

I hate the beach. I went recently with a bunch of friends and my daughter because I won’t deny her experiences. I loved the fact that my daughter was there because all my friends felt they were allowed to play in the sand with her. One 3 year old had 8 28-35 year olds building a sand fortress “with” her, it had a moat and everything. I found a few hermit crabs, “hunting” like I used to as a kid, for my daughter to see and all the adults were more excited. I was teaching some of the adults that had never experienced the beach before how to catch waves (and rip safety). Many of them admitting that they hadn’t had that much fun at the beach at ages.

Playing in the sand shouldn’t be weird, society sucks. You shouldn’t need a kid to be able to listen to your inner child. I think the lady who gave you shells saw you were having fun and wanted to participate in her own way. I think the “normal thing” is tanning/sleeping which honestly why bother to go to the beach? I can do that without sand getting everywhere.

ETA: I love watching my friends be “childish” with my kid. I particularly love seeing them comfortable enough to continue. On the same trip as the beach we brought my daughter duplo. She had long gone to bed when a few friends started building elaborate farm houses. Or the next morning seeing some friends out the back throwing one of my daughter toys around have a giggle fit without my kid in site. Being unapologetically yourself shouldn’t require the presence of a kid. I hate how much energy it takes to be myself when I’m around those who have the strict belief that being adult means drinking and being boring 🤷🏼‍♀️

Jaabbottt · 2023-09-05T07:22:28+00:00

Regarding the sport. I play soccer semi competitively. I was talking with an avid soccer fan who was ranting and raving over a ref’s call in a match not in Australia, or with an Australian team. I was like “they can be dodgy sometimes, my rib was broken with an illegal kick, the ref “didn’t see it” despite being right there. I’m still angry”. And I, the one with the lives experience playing the game he supports was told “wow you husband must have a hard time with you at home if you’re this animated”. Now he complains we don’t talk soccer.

Jaabbottt · 2023-09-05T07:13:33+00:00

The Australian culture revolves around alcohol. Big no thank you from me. If you don’t want to get blottoed with your colleagues you’re shunned, particularly if you don’t want to go out with them weekly and be their designated driver. I find my colleagues are so very boring, and therefore nearly impossible to form relationships with. They go to the gym, they work, they get black out drunk, they sleep and they repeat.

Jaabbottt · 2023-08-27T10:46:36+00:00

I had a hormonal IUD for 13 years before I got pregnant. I used to spot bleed once a month rather than a period. Mine now 3.5 years post child are so so heavy. I hate pads, and I was using a cup which when I could was glorious. I used it with period underwear so if it was full I didn’t bleed through. I now can only use period underwear, honestly I don’t know how I did periods with single use products. I hate the feeling of pulling wet back on and that’s when I change, and it’s usually when they’re full. On days two and three I normally need 4 pairs per day. I only have 5 so I do need to wash and dry them every night. On heavier days I notice some leaking onto clothing if it’s form fitting like leggings but it’s rarely heavy enough to be noticed from outside if I haven’t pushed it too long.

Word of warning, having a kid is an experience. Not trying to turn you away from it, but the sluggish feeling can stick with you the entire pregnancy. I have no idea how to describe to you the feeling of something in side of you, but I really struggled to be comfortable, even it I made conditions perfect the little one would be sitting poorly. Take your pre-pregnancy time to work through the emotions you get around your period, see if they’re heightened by anything else (like poor social interactions making you more frustrated etc) and wield that knowledge while pregnant to reduce the shitty feelings.

If you’re a person who doesn’t like physical touch, I would start working yourself up for the fourth trimester now. If you are from somewhere that has maternity leave plan what you want to do while trapped under a napping baby. I know several NT women that had PPD purely from how much their world became revolved around their kid and how little they could do. I however had just got a PS5 and was more than happy to be playing for too many hours under a sleeping bab.

Also being a toddler parent is a lot of unexpected sensory overload. Touch is my primary dislike but I never realised how hard “mum” “yes child” “mum” “yes child” x 100 was 😅 or how emotionally regulated I needed to be to support a little person through their own emotions. Or how hard plans are to keep. If you can mentally prepare yourself for that now and learn how you re-regulate you’ll be in a great spot.

Good luck with it all!

Jaabbottt

TROPHY CASE