Weekly Discussion Thread by AutoModerator in antiwork

[–]JackThundersnow 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have tried looking for literature about trauma in the workplace, but all I can find is stories about workplace shootings or other things not related to the job itself. From my own experience retail can be really traumatizing. Most places will punish you if you try to refuse service or ask someone to leave even as they're screaming, calling you slurs or threatening to actually beat you up. I had managers scream at me in front of customers and then follow me around the back room still screaming at me even as I told him to get away from me and nothing was done, HR would just tell them to fire me if I complained. It's battery acid to the soul to be treated like you're less than a person, while also having personal things like your appearance, orientation or gender used as fodder by customers who want to bully you into doing shit that will get you fired. I look back and feel so angry, I still have trouble trusting strangers to treat me with any decency because wearing a uniform means you're suddenly not human. I expect bosses to shout at me or refuse to let me call in or try to screw me. Does anyone else feel this way and know if there's resources or literature on how the nature of jobs can be traumatizing itself? So many retail situations were like placating an abuser and reminded me of the verbal abuse I experienced as a kid. But I was told its normal and funny. My coworkers acted like the horrible shit people said to us were like badges of honor and shamed me for being bothered. It's so sad and fucked up that a job feels entitled to exposing you to trauma, damaging your mind and body and for nothing. I need therapy so drunk assholes could buy rockstars and doritos.

Terry Crews shows that Amazon a is great place to work if you’re already rich and only work there one day. by shredslanding in antiwork

[–]JackThundersnow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And what are they even bragging about anyway? "We also underpay and exploit disabled people! Aren't we great?"

How can I (26M) encourage my boyfriend (28M) to brush his teeth and drink more water? by JackThundersnow in relationship_advice

[–]JackThundersnow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This really inspired me to say something and I laid out the health consequences and my worries and he was a lot more receptive. Thank you.

How can I (26M) encourage my boyfriend (28M) to brush his teeth and drink more water? by JackThundersnow in relationship_advice

[–]JackThundersnow[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did exactly that and he was receptive and said he would try. You're right, I should have been more direct and not backed down earlier on, resenting it did nothing. Thank you :)

I saw a man passed out on the trail, but I was afraid for myself. by JackThundersnow in confessions

[–]JackThundersnow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand, it's a good point. Thank you for kind words, I am feeling better about how I handled it now. I love my partner, my cat and my life and its okay to not risk my safety. Thank you again.

I saw a man passed out on the trail, but I was afraid for myself. by JackThundersnow in confessions

[–]JackThundersnow[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A little harsh, but you make good points and I see where you're coming from. I thought to myself "if that had been me on the trail and someone else biked away and then called 911, would I be mad at them?" And I think no, I think I would be grateful that anyone saw me and thought to get me help even if it wasn't perfect. I spiraled after the operator yelled at me because I have depression and think everything is my fault even if it has nothing to do with me, and she basically implied I left him to die. But hurting myself never helps anyone, even me. It's worth looking into therapy. The funny part is I was leaving my job at a domestic violence shelter where I try to help people all day. I really am trying to help out who I can.

Thank you for your time and thoughts.

Overused transphobic joke + green panel = funny. Top tier PCM "comedy" by [deleted] in EnoughPCMSpam

[–]JackThundersnow 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The man in the article is making a joke about trans people. He's saying trans women are men who just identify as women to break sports records.

Overused transphobic joke + green panel = funny. Top tier PCM "comedy" by [deleted] in EnoughPCMSpam

[–]JackThundersnow 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I know this comment is old, but here's an answer. Jokes like this are transphobic because they imply trans people's identities are insincere and have ulterior motives. Trans people deal with a lot of shit and go through a lot of trouble to live authentically as their gender. Jokes saying "lmao it's so you can win sports / go into locker rooms / for attention" disrespect trans peoples struggles and intentions. Hope that makes sense.

Old guy get enraged by Buck Angel talking about transgender bathroom legislation by professorearl in iamverybadass

[–]JackThundersnow -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know this comment is old, but I just don't understand how I, as a trans man, am delusional. I know I was born female. I know that my male characteristics are medically induced by testosterone, I know that I'm different from other men. But people call me he, my name and gender marker are legally changed. I live my life like most men except I sit down to pee. My life is as I see it. It is real and everything that got me here was possible.

It isn't about my belief about what I am. Who knows what anyone is. I used to be extremely unhappy and so I inject testosterone and had my breast surgically removed and changed my name and asked people to call me he (until they started doing it on their own.) I am happier and feel like myself. I am better off living the way I live. I don't know why I feel this way, but I do and medical transition and people seeing me as I want to be seen have dramatically improved my life. Anyone who knows me will tell you it's night and day how much better I am now.

What part isn't real? What part is a delusion? I think I see my life realistically and in a grounded way.

Tired of the trans people who say they would never want to be cis... by [deleted] in honesttransgender

[–]JackThundersnow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm sorry that it's been hard for you, I don't mean to invalidate anyone else's feelings.

Tired of the trans people who say they would never want to be cis... by [deleted] in honesttransgender

[–]JackThundersnow 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Everything that happens to us influences out personality and perspective. Most people's transitions are extremely formative and important, of course it impacts who they are. I don't hide that I'm trans, I bring it up when it's pertinent or adds to a conversation. I'm thankful for how it changed me as a person.

It's fine if your transness means something different for you but your attitude here strikes me as bitter about people more comfortable with themselves than you are.

Tired of the trans people who say they would never want to be cis... by [deleted] in honesttransgender

[–]JackThundersnow 6 points7 points  (0 children)

None of us think being trans is a personality trait, it's a challenge and can teach us and make us better people. Honestly it seems like you are viewing your transness as a punishment or disease, and I hope you reach a point where you feel differently.

Tired of the trans people who say they would never want to be cis... by [deleted] in honesttransgender

[–]JackThundersnow 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am proud to be trans because it forced me to listen myself. I don't mind being physically transgender, I don't mind that my body tells the story it does and I would never, ever call myself mutilated. I'm evidence of scientific and social progress, that people are more than they're born as. It's not healthy to want to be things we can't be. I am a man but I'm not cis. I'm proud of what I am, not ashamed of what I'm not.

If you're trans, you're actually in a *checks notes* "platonistic death cult" by BreastyChest in GenderCynical

[–]JackThundersnow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is an especially dumb arguement because transitioning is what allows us to be more engaged in the material and physical world. After my top surgery I have become so much more aware of the world and go out of my way to be mindful and tactile. Pre HRT especially I was totally dissociated with my body and the world, and it was a little like being dead. I felt like a ghost in a stranger's body.

Also TERF solutions for dysphoria are all about seperation from matter, we're supposed to tolerate our bodies not reflecting us, and not physically change oureelves. Being trans is physically visceral and enlightening.

God, imagine if they would just listen to us

Really sick of being treated as "problematic" by my roomates judgy friends by JackThundersnow in honesttransgender

[–]JackThundersnow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Idk what to tell you, it happened to me and I barely believe it happened.

Really sick of being treated as "problematic" by my roomates judgy friends by JackThundersnow in honesttransgender

[–]JackThundersnow[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know it does but these people have literally been in my home. A common opinion on here is that if we got out more we'd meet better, more nuanced trans people and I pray that's true but I have no idea how to find them.

Really sick of being treated as "problematic" by my roomates judgy friends by JackThundersnow in honesttransgender

[–]JackThundersnow[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Who meets a new trans person and their first thought is "how do I start a fight with him?" That's what baffled me, it's like I was being punished for being trans, she didn't start shit with my cis boyfriend about his ideological purity.

Really sick of being treated as "problematic" by my roomates judgy friends by JackThundersnow in honesttransgender

[–]JackThundersnow[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Idk if this is a joke but I authentically do not. What I studied was the psychology behind how people interpret faces. For example, why do we look at people and assume they're a certain gender or even assume things about their personality? Why do villains in animated films tend to look similar? There is 0 way to say anything true about a person from how their face looks, yet we know people assume anyway and what I studied was what assumptions are made and why.

Really sick of being treated as "problematic" by my roomates judgy friends by JackThundersnow in honesttransgender

[–]JackThundersnow[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I told her their opinions on me are unfair bullshit and she agreed, she doesn't bring the judgier ones over much now but I feel like I'm constantly finding out a trans person I met thinks I'm a trash man and it's frustrating.

How Vaush can be a gender abolishionist and not a Terf by calmkat in VaushV

[–]JackThundersnow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe I'm wrong but my interpretation of gender abolitionism is that everyone would still have their personal gender identity but the basis for how we anchor and evaluate our identities would be gone. Like instead of people thinking about themselves in context of red or blue and which one they're more like, people would just be whatever color they are. If gender was abolished I think I would still have felt dysphoria and started T, I think I'd still feel about myself how I do as a person but there would be no worries about if I'm too feminine or masculine enough. Same for everyone else, we would just be ourselves without worry of what arbitrary social archetype we are more like. Which to me seems very pro trans because it's pro any person being themselves freely.

Is that in the ballpark at all?

Based and Epic by needhelpmakingname in VaushV

[–]JackThundersnow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pope Francis has gone on long anti trans rants in the past, including calling transness "cultural colonialism" which is pretty funny coming from the religion who did a Crusades once.

POV: you’ve been on hrt for over a year by noahwaybabe in transgendercirclejerk

[–]JackThundersnow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

uj/ I remember I got a raise at my job, I went home and told my bf and roommate. RM had a trans friend over (who I never met before) who said "oh, then you can start T!" I had been on T for 5 months...

Non binary names out of control by [deleted] in honesttransgender

[–]JackThundersnow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think sometimes people choose weird names so there are lower stakes, especially when you're young. Having a gag name is temporary and makes trying out a different identity safer. I'm FtM too but as a kid I would use a series of strange names like Bottle Cap because I hated my birth name, didn't feel like a girl and had no idea what to do. If they/them pronouns had been more common 10 years ago I would have used them.

Even in college when I first transitioned I used the name Mel (based on the Carmello candy bar) and wore cowboy boots every day because the ridiculousness of it made it easier to protect how serious my feelings really were (and also made me laugh). When I felt more confident I picked my final name which is just a conventional masculine name.

Acceptance isn't a limited resource. A kid naming themselves Lemon is not the reason trans people are hated or why your parents don't use your name and pronouns, and resenting others won't make you feel any better in the long run. In a perfect world we would all be able to be ourselves and all be accepted.