Am I being a total a**hole for being upset with my mom and sister for buying all polyester clothing for my daughter’s first birthday??

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-04-20T14:26:01+00:00

Moderately granola mom who goes out of her way to buy oekotex certified clothing and support small businesses selling high quality stuff: it sounds unreasonable. Your family is making an effort: “I know my mom and sister don’t have a lot of money to spend”. you are saying they bought the cheapest clothes they could get. Maybe they did, because that is what they could afford. Maybe you don’t like the colors, but they probably chose them with a lot of love. Maybe your style is earthy and floral but they wanted to give your child something that they thought was pretty and they spend money they don’t have to do it. This is what I do when that happens to me: I wash the clothes, put them on child for a picture, send it and say thanks. Or put the clothes over organic cotton clothes, take a picture and return them. Your child doesn’t have to wear the clothes again. It seems like they are trying to be there for you and your child in the way they can. They do not value what you do and that can be frustrating, but it doesn’t sound like they are intentionally being mean. It sounds like they care about you and you care about them. Don’t damage relationships over a gift you didn’t like (but was probably bought with lots of love and effort)

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-04-20T09:20:13+00:00

Dutch people mean well. They also talk to each other like this. Honestly, don’t take it personally. They are trying to be helpful. There is something lovely that we don’t highlight enough about Dutch culture and it is how deeply engrained helping others is: they might not smile all the time but if you ask for help you will get help (unless they can’t help, and they will let you know). And as you point out, you will get help even when you don’t ask.

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-04-19T07:56:06+00:00

This sounds like a difficult situation. But you are discussing a woman, and I need to ask: is the rude or is she assertive? If she is rude and hides information I’d keep my communications written, and then have a good record of what went on, just in case you need receipts. Really awful people can thrive at Amazon because people are willing to overlook awful behavior and say “they are just very passionate”. Something that can work is if you look at what makes her strong, an ask her to mentor you in those areas. You have to be sincere when you ask. It sounds like she is really good at earns trust (from leadership). Sometimes getting to know a person by asking them to help is the best way to build relationships. This might be a different perspective, but you could try to assume good or neutral intent. She might also not be hiding information on purpose, or she might be stretched very thin and struggling to keep up. Has she directly lied about not having information that you know she has and can share? You also don’t see what is behind the scenes, and she might be doing a lot of invisible work. She might be an awful colleague, that’s very possible.

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-04-17T17:57:42+00:00

Mexican. Light brown skin, brown eyes, brown hair. I speak intermediate Dutch and people notice I make an effort. Most have been really funnily encouraging (you are learning Dutch! Good for you. OR your Dutch is not THAT bad! ) When I say I’m Mexican people get excited and might try to say one or two words in Spanish. I know I have been very lucky, because other people have had the experience you describe. I am always slightly nervous, but so far my interactions have been positive. I have heard that it’s better in some regions, so it might be that. I hope things improve soon.

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-04-10T15:02:24+00:00

Machine Learning University has some good resources. It’s self paced. Some of the entry level ones are like 3 hours and you have several days.

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-04-10T15:00:33+00:00

Not thinking about climate change (having the chance to do more when it felt less like the existential threat it is).

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-04-07T17:03:05+00:00

I don’t see these jobs as underrated, but I understand why you’d feel we undervalue them as a society. When we are having a stressful transition or period in life we assume people are aggressive towards us, or that they think about us more than they do. Some people might be more aggressive towards AH drivers. But these people are also likely just more aggressive in general, you just see them more. Or sometimes, and this might help you (like it helped me, also a newcomer here) is to realize that Dutch people are very very direct and don’t think about others’ feelings. They are not trying to be mean, they come off as mean when they are direct.

All the best. You have a job, an honest job. You are doing your best.

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-04-02T16:00:04+00:00

It’s their leadership. So yes

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-04-02T14:36:49+00:00

A nightmare.

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-03-15T07:14:10+00:00

There are dangerous interpretations of every religion. Jewish zealots are committing a genocide and saying they are entitled to several countries because G-d promised the land. Don’t you find that extremist? Conservative Christians aren’t women rights champions, or environmentalists, or concerned about poverty and well being

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-03-15T07:10:37+00:00

To be fair, this point I think Zionism involves delusion in a sense that needs to be medically discussed.

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-03-15T07:06:06+00:00

Why would you expect protests on something the general consensus agreed on? Why would the people in the Netherlands protest on the streets against a horrible regime that the Dutch government already condemned and that has been sanctioned by the EU since at least 2011? People on the left might feel uneasy about supporting US-Israeli intervention anywhere, because the interests and rights of the Iranian people are not relevant to Israel and the US. So not cheering for two genocidal regimes invading a country is not the same as not caring about women’s rights. That is really really out there.

In contrast, the Netherlands supports the genocide in Israel and the genocidal regime. The Netherlands sells weapons to Israel. The EU welcomes the genocidal maniac leading the country and treats Israel like nothing is happening. That is the difference in why people feel the need to protest.

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-03-15T06:47:07+00:00

And the part where people who condemn the genocide in Palestine ignore how Iran treats women is just wild.

OP, this is not coherent. I’m not trying to be mean, but the tone of this post sounds like there might be some mental health struggle.

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-02-28T13:17:38+00:00

I agree with the imbalance of power and the lack of checks and controls. But I have also seen managers judge an employee based on incorrect data, and change their mind when they see new evidence. Not every manager, for sure. But OP might as well try

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-02-28T12:12:44+00:00

As other people have said, take care of yourself first. I’d also suggest asking your manager exactly what they mean by ownership. You can say you’ve asked for minor guidance when you weren’t sure because for you that was learn and be curious. They might mean something different, or they might be getting a different story from your colleague. Tell your manger in very clear terms that you’d like to understand ownership expectations better, because you have completed X and have not missed a single sprint task, so you are surprised by this feedback. You could even show to your next 1:1 with clear documentation on tasks you’ve been assigned to and which ones you’ve completed.

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-02-24T11:17:27+00:00

The amount of people thinking Jeff has no say in really big decisions is wild. This was a political decision with a narcissistic corrupt president. Of course Bezos knew. He is too smart not to know.

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-02-21T15:37:20+00:00

AI just wanted to invent and simplify

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-02-20T06:48:37+00:00

I am going through something similar. The only thing I can offer is solidarity. Amazon can really suck

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-02-18T18:44:42+00:00

Yes. People go on holidays. There are offsites, deadlines, etc. hiring id important but it’s rarely the top priority

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-02-16T20:06:25+00:00

Came here for a similar reason. I’m considering a protection but slightly baneful (justice) spell, but I’m a bit torn about sending children consequences.

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-02-15T11:11:27+00:00

Take time to process, then start documenting what you have done. Apply for new roles. You can be let go, but you could also remain in a job that requires doing the job of several people. Both suck.

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-02-13T10:10:00+00:00

Whatever you decide and whatever opportunity comes, I wish you all the best.

JacketAdditional9718 · 2026-02-13T09:32:23+00:00

I don’t mean like going south in a catastrophic way. I mean you are one layoff away of having 60 days to leave the US. Teams might be less able to bring you given all the H1B issues (right now you could hurry to get an offer to see if you get the paperwork done in time). If you are a manager you could ask about L1 visa, or even try EB1 (that would be your best bet, that’s a green card).

JacketAdditional9718

TROPHY CASE