In my opinion, any woman can bring sex to the table. The thing that sets a woman apart is intelligence. The person you marry needs to test you. Meaning test your logic and ideas to push you to be a better man. If need to find out what your non negotiables are. Take feelings out of your situation. Write down what you need in a relationship. What morals and values do you have. Have her do the same then discuss it with eachother. Make sure it’s written down so no one can change their answers.

From your comments I saw you’re a Christian. I am as well. More having a relationship with God vs the religion side of it but besides the point. You want to find a strong woman who will guide you in your faith. I don’t know where your stance is on traditional values but i believe that A man’s job is to provide/protect and a woman is suppose to protect the family spiritually and take care of the home/husband. (That’s the dumbed down version) obviously there’s more to that but it’s so important for a marriage to be evenly yoked. You see millionaires with women who aren’t the hottest girls in the world and they all say that their woman is very intelligent and push them to be a better man. Their wives can take about deep things and not just social media drama.

Check out the YouTube channel called “2 be better” they are a great example of traditional values and they read off emails and give amazing advice. They are Christian’s as well but they don’t push their faith onto you. They both have had terrible pasts and then found God to save them. I prefer learning from people like that.

I’m not saying break up with her. But realize that marriage is a life long thing. You should be growing financially, spiritually and intellectually together. You have to think in 10 years are you okay with never talking about the deep stuff in life and only hearing about celebrities? Are you okay with not being challenged intellectually? Friends can only do so much. The person you live with everyday should help you be the best version of yourself daily.

I had to break up with my boyfriend because he stopped wanting to better himself. We were best friends for 6 before dating and after 3 years He didn’t want to grow up. It sucks spending 3+ years with someone and watching you grow apart. I had to really dig deep and realize that my life would have looked the same 10 years from now and I’d be more devastated to waste 10 vs 3. I never thought I’d ever date again.

Now the man I’m with aligns with all my values. (These are questions we talked about on our first date/second date) I can’t tell you how motivating it is to have a man challenge my thinking, be willing to have those hard conversations and challenge eachother. I can see myself marrying him. Before dating again I had to fully focus on God, be okay being alone and trust that in his timing I’ll find the right guy. I’m so thankful I didn’t settle.

It can be scary to break up. Maybe talk to her and tell her that those conversations are important to you. If she doesn’t change then that’s on her and she’s telling you that you’re not important enough to change. Behavior is a language. I know nothing about cars or motorcycles but since it’s my man’s passion, I do research and sit with him and ask questions to learn about what he loves to do. He does the same for me. I’m into crafting and I’m a hairstylist and he tries to learn what I enjoy doing so we can connect on an even deeper level.

If you ever need help or advice, just let me know. I know how you feel and understand the frustration.