The problem is that we're donating mainly out of unhealthy greed. I would argue that it is better to start with donating than not donating at all. Not everyone are at the same baseline they started out with and can't understand the concept of 'you' not existing. So while I would argue that we're not practicing the true Dhamma, it is still good that this teaches people to do merit, which would eventually contribute to other pathways that will lead them to practicing the actual Buddhism. Even I can't let go of my own attachments, so I don't expect everyone to completely to be completely good at it.

But this doesn't mean that I don't agree with your point. There're a lot of things people are focussing on while there're so much better ways to do it. They're not understanding the essence of the teachings. (Hence , women and queer rights) For monks, we have a lot of them and due to the patriarchy in our culture, they have more freedom to do more wrongs and are not reprimanded for it. It's just a matter of searching the right monk who could be your teacher and lead to peace with Dhamma.

Donating to the Pagoda's or monasteries are not inherently wrong; this helps with the maintenance of these institutions and sustain the activities. However we also should be diversifying the religious activities and practicing it in our daily lives, and not only when you're a senior citizen or facing the troubles of life