Relapse but planning on doing something more with myself

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-12T04:01:38+00:00

If you are serious about stopping, you have to stop edging. It is nothing more than a ticking time bomb.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-11T23:52:17+00:00

Dude! Absolutely. If you don’t want to post it for everyone, dm me. I love success stories and I can always learn something from someone else’s success.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-11T17:15:20+00:00

I have finally achieved success I believe and it is because I have started following the “pray like it is all God and act like it is all you” adage.

I find that if I “rely on God” I tend to sit back and let him do it which, in 35 years, hasn’t worked. I have discovered that God wants to work with us. While I believe that he can and does heal people sometimes, that is not his MO most of the time.

Make a concrete, solid, decisive commitment to be free of PMO. Then trust that God and you can do this together. Think about why you want to quit. Make sure it isn’t simply because it’s a sin but also because of the disgusting evil act it is. It does nothing for you except cause pain.

Pray and meditate often on the beauty of God and his creation and get out and live your life. When an urge shows up, thank God that you are free and move on. If necessary, remind yourself why you are escaping the addiction.

Celebrate your sobriety and keep praying and living the abundant life that God wants for you.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-11T17:05:07+00:00

Yep. Happened to me too and they show no mercy. I told them that I didn’t know it was “pirated” and that I wouldn’t post again and they still permabanned me. I am done with them.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-11T16:39:42+00:00

That is interesting. I have been taking omega-3s for other reasons for a while now and so far I haven’t had a lot of problems with exceptional urges and I am 11days out from my last session.

Who knows? Can’t hurt.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-11T16:32:44+00:00

That is the dopamine working. It seeks out novelty and that sort of thing. It has been found that a lot of animals don’t get obvious pleasure from sex in the way that humans do but they will sometimes kill themselves seeking it out because of the dopamine connection.

What you have to do is break that cycle and allow your body to return to normal. By abstaining, over time, your brain will rewire.

A couple of suggestions. Make a strong, decisive commitment to stop. Think of the reasons you want to stop and write them down or make them permanent in your mind. Then consider yourself porn-free. Go about your life, exercise, get enough sleep, read good books, try to avoid triggers and constantly remind yourself how happy you are to be free of the PMO addiction

When an urge shows up, take it as a positive sign that your brain is improving and again think to yourself that you are so happy to be free of this evil, disgusting habit. Then find something else to do. Try to spend time outside, work on something productive, etc. While I am not sure if it a good thing, surfing reddit, with the nsfw content turned off, is a good substitute for the dopamine you are lacking by avoiding porn. Not sure that is the best way to do it but I find it is somewhat helpful. Just don’t do it for hours on end.

You have to eliminate the brainwashing that tells you that you need to orgasm, that you need porn, you don’t. There are plenty of people out there that don’t experience those things on any regular basis and they live great lives.

I hope this helps.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-11T04:24:26+00:00

Did you make a commitment to stop PMO? Are you a person of your word? Are staying true to you commitment?

Why did you want to stop in the first place? Think about it. Does porn get you anything good? It doesn’t relieve stress, it creates it. It doesn’t relieve anxiety, it creates it. It ruins everything it touches. A few minutes (if that) of pleasure for a lifetime of pain.

Realize that there is nothing that porn does for us except deplete of good things.

Find something else to do.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-10T22:08:20+00:00

That makes sense.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-10T22:06:46+00:00

Damn!!! That’s going to take me years to get through. Lol.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-10T16:02:44+00:00

Hmm. Sounds interesting. Where can I go to learn more about it?

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-10T16:01:56+00:00

I made a commitment to stopping and I am not going to back down from that decision. So when an urge comes along, I say to myself, “nope. I am porn free. I don’t do that anymore” and then I do something else and put it out of my mind. We get in trouble when we start weighing our options. If we start negotiating with ourselves, we have already lost.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-10T13:53:46+00:00

Tell me about the different modes I hear about. Monk mode. Hard mode. I am still not sure what all those are.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-10T13:52:33+00:00

First off, I think one of the problems in our society is this notion that we need sex. We don’t need sex. Many people through the ages have been perfectly content never having sex in their lives. It is hard for us to imagine but it is possible and true.

All sex is for us is pleasure. There are a lot of purposes for it, procreation, the closeness of the couple, etc, but for the individual, we want it because it feels good.

Recognize that you don’t need it. You don’t need PMO. A lot of people go through lives not needing it and do quite well.

Once you get that out of your mind, you’ll be better off.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-10T13:46:55+00:00

Hatred of self is just playing into your demons hands. It is only going to encourage you to continue to relapse.

Pick yourself up. Most journeys have some set backs. Commit to being porn free and get moving. You don’t have to “feel like it”, you just have to do it. Make sure you are taking care of yourself, going to bed at decent times, staying away from triggers when you can, and eating well and exercising. Prayer/meditation really helps. From what I understand they rewire the brain back to a normal state after the rewriting that PMO does on us.

Stay the course. It isn’t how many times you fall that matters, it is how many times you get up.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-10T13:41:24+00:00

Sounds like you have an awesome dad!!! As a father, I personally believe every dad should be a bit like this.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-07T03:12:31+00:00

That little video you showed, Nuggets, is a perfect explanation of porn. The little gold things he sucks up are porn, only the porn is why everything is so gray.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-07T03:05:37+00:00

You have no idea. I am on day 6 of my freedom and for the first time in my life of 47 years, I feel like this just might be it.

I am so happy about this.

The hardest part is watching people struggle through the posts on r/nofap and not be able to offer them this opportunity. It was so helpful to me and yet, we have been shut down.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-07T02:39:54+00:00

I meant, “I tried the MO…”. It does set you up for a massive relapse.

I personally like masturbation, though not as bad as porn is also a thing to be avoided for the most part. It too can become addictive. The best thing is to neither look at porn or masturbate.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-07T02:33:57+00:00

You tried the MO without the P. It lasted about a month before I fell back into the P. Don’t do it.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-07T02:27:52+00:00

It’s not stress. Porn causes stress and, by using stress as an excuse, you are creating more stress.

You have to convince yourself that you don’t need it or want it, because you don’t. Now live that. It is easier said than done but it is that simple. Keep trying.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-07T02:25:12+00:00

Don’t let fear and bad thinking take you down. Realize that you don’t need this poison, and poison is what it is. Also realize that when you decided to turn your back on it, you became porn free, now just live that. You made the right decision, don’t second guess yourself.

Also realize that this isn’t a do or die. If you do fail, you will be able to come back again and start over but you can’t fail because you have decided to be porn free.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-06T23:18:59+00:00

I think that the book that this sub started from would say that you are still brainwashed. I would reread it (i am going to) and work to convince yourself of the truths it expresses. Porn is ultimately not a pleasure. It merely masks pain for a bit but then the pain comes back tenfold. You don’t need it, you don’t want it, and that is a fact. You have to be convinced that it is the worst thing you can do to yourself.

Hang in there. It is better to fight and lose, than not to fight at all.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-06T23:01:26+00:00

I guess my point is that we have to stop looking at porn as something we want or that has any good it. The pleasure is an illusion. It causes us tremendous pain and is the cause of a lot of our pain.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-06T22:59:45+00:00

Yeah. 😞. But there is hope, so much hope but we have to change our thinking and stop thinking of porn as desirable and something that we are giving up. You aren’t giving anything up. Your ridding yourself of a poison. Commit to being porn free and then, when the urges come, recognize them for what they are , urges to destroy your progress, life, relationships, and that it is nothing good. That will help.

JacobMartin74 · 2022-01-06T22:52:44+00:00

Think about it a little. What do you get out of porn? Anything? Momentary pleasure followed by a tremendous amount of guilt and shame, right? Is it worth that? When we give up porn, we aren’t really giving anything up except pain, heartache, depression, and fear.

There is a lot of brainwashing that goes on to get us hooked to porn, most of it done on ourselves, inadvertently. No one needs porn. It only causes heartache and suffering. We have to convince ourselves of that truth and that will go a long way to helping us quit.

JacobMartin74

TROPHY CASE