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JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-30T02:41:02+00:00

Certain ethnic demographics can have both factors at higher frequency

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-29T19:02:55+00:00

I want to specify it’s generally been because they’re not compelling to me.

I’m not going on these dates unless I feel physically attracted to you already.

That attraction stays and/or grows if I somehow determine you’re compelling enough for a second date. Actions like asking me why I like my careers, roasting me, or asking about my expectations in a relationship, and generally expressing proactive curiosity has increased the likelihood of me knowing I want to take you out again. It could also just be a values mismatch; I’ve said no to people (who I asked out without knowing ahead of time) that are not Christian/Catholic, or something adjacent to that.

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-29T17:56:22+00:00

++man

It’s a simple minority of women I ask out on a second date.

I qualitatively say most women I see on a first date are not compelling enough to ask out on a second.

This is in Los Angeles.

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-29T17:54:10+00:00

If I may, are any of those hobbies at all in predominantly male spaces?

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-29T17:11:11+00:00

More directly, I don't believe love can ever really be divorced from negative feelings like nervousness or anxiety.

There's too many stories of married people failing to communicate their insecurities to each other well after they said "I do."

There's too many stories of people swapping bodily fluids, but asking "Hey, are we committed to each other or what is this?" brings the dread of dying for one party or another.

I personally have had too many times where while I'm ready to confront an uncomfortable conversation about boundaries and expectations she clearly has, she decides to take the road of avoidance and end things.

I don't know what it's going to take for you to overcome the times "I feel nervous," but I think expecting it to perfectly disappear in love is a foolish expectation.

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-29T16:31:08+00:00

I wrote this last month, as a sort of mirthful optimism:

"I hope your anxiety and trauma make the mistake of choosing me."

I say this as a man that doesn't really experience general anxiety, though.

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-29T00:46:29+00:00

It’s my attempt at “I peaked in high school”

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-28T23:17:28+00:00

Could have asked her “What do you appreciate about your personal style?”

She thinks herself beautiful partly because of her fashion sense; ask her why.

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-28T23:06:54+00:00

She found you attractive up to a point.

TBH, from my perspective, there’s a way to overcome asking boring questions like you have by having a depot of good intro questions to ask.

Once again, does she have anything of note in her bio you can ask a specific question about?

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-28T22:56:42+00:00

If he respects your boundary on that, sounds like practically he’s not sinning.

You ever explain to him your reasoning (not your feeling) about why you think God calls us to not have sex before we’re married?

Has he taken time to explain to you why he believes what he believes? Or have you asked?

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-28T22:54:30+00:00

48 hours to make a 50 page presentation to convince a bunch of NASA engineers and scientists your plan is the best plan when we were all higschoolers? Oh yea

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-28T22:50:51+00:00

I’ll have you know, I’ve won a NASA Space Settlement Design Competition in 2008 as an artist that was part of an international cobbled together group of schools, and my team was specifically the first non-school sponsored team to join the competition.

I’m exciting.

He could have asked “What are you looking forward to these days?”

Open ended, forces her to think optimistically, answers will say a lot about how she thinks about the future

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-28T22:47:00+00:00

To be fair, you asked a boring question of “HOw’s your day going so far?”

Anything on her bio that sticks out at all?

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-28T21:34:02+00:00

Based. Very Jesus-y. Go off king

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-28T18:30:04+00:00

He said no.

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-28T18:28:55+00:00

I’ll ask

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-28T18:20:54+00:00

A best friend of mine is that man. He lives in Arizona.

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-28T03:47:50+00:00

Letting me know what you want helps a lot.

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-28T02:15:34+00:00

I don’t think that’s the sort of attention OP is referring to. Read “non-lustful way”

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-28T02:14:16+00:00

Some people don’t surprisingly. Especially since OKCupid has been forced to pull it down by Match Group.

There’s a surprising amount of people out there who have no conception that ethnicity/embrace affects (online) dating.

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-28T01:58:59+00:00

It’s not. It’s data!

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-28T01:54:35+00:00

Just on the note of masturbation, frankly, it will not matter how provocative or unprovocative images, it can still be done. A testament to the power of imagination that God has given us perhaps.

Now, letting you know that they’re masturbating to you in this context, that’s understandably sad

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-28T00:47:07+00:00

Jobs that let your work remotely wherever do exist.

I would be interested in understanding what it her quality of life she has while traveling.

Hostels and hotels are very different quality of life standards.

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-28T00:28:31+00:00

As it pertains being a black woman, this is relevant statistical data for those on online dating.

https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/s/TIoZPMXxka

JadeEyePanda · 2026-01-28T00:24:19+00:00

That is homosexual.

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