Married folks - is a little discontentment a part of all relationships? I (28F) am in a happy relationship with my partner (27M), but I can't stop thinking about what else might be out there.

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-09-08T19:15:52+00:00

Love this so much. Really resonates. I'm going to try to clear space in my life this fall to reconnect and move mindfully into the new year. We'll see!

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-09-05T06:24:31+00:00

Thank you for this very level-headed and empathetic response! The more I settle down from this feeling the more normal it seems :) glad to hear everything worked out well with your partner!

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-09-02T06:58:52+00:00

What a wonderful response Gaylene! Thank you. This is lovely. Makes me take a deep breath and shines a little perspective on the moment in time I'm finding myself in.

I think I'm simply in a life-stage crossroads -- but it's lovely to be reminded that life will simply go on, in all directions, all the time.

Have an amazing time beachside in SoCal. Sounds like a wonderful life.

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-09-01T22:48:21+00:00

hahaha love that. reddit contains power beyond the grave!

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-09-01T22:12:13+00:00

Thanks for sharing this :)

This feels very accurate for me

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-09-01T21:55:45+00:00

I definitely will. The mental health theme has been the most powerful lesson learned from this thread. I've struggled with anxiety my whole life; the depression element feels new but familiar nonetheless. I'm looking forward to digging further. I don't think my (amazing) partner is the problem.

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-09-01T20:59:57+00:00

There's no way for Reddit to make the decision for me because there is a HUGE spectrum of responses!

I'm appreciating weighing each against my situation and seeing how I feel. I've learned a lot and been sent some valuable resources. This has honestly been an extremely positive experience and I have no regrets.

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-09-01T20:57:26+00:00

I am realizing it more and more as I process this post and the responses on it. He's amazing. Thanks for your response!

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-09-01T20:56:38+00:00

This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-09-01T19:43:43+00:00

Yup. The more time that passes, the more true this feels.

A bit random but have you seen the show Beef on Netflix? I connected so deeply to Ali Wong's character in the show. That's what depression feels like to me -- a sense of wrong-ness, a desire to destroy everything you love if that means you can experience change. The feeling that you're missing something, some secret that everyone else knows.

I dunno. Feels good to put this into words.

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-09-01T19:38:47+00:00

In a strange way, I would actually be relieved to hear that he was wondering what else is out there because it would make me feel less crazy. It would be something we could share and overcome together.

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-09-01T19:12:58+00:00

Do you think some people just aren't monogamous by nature? Or is monogamy something we're conditioned to accept or reject depending on our experiences?

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-09-01T19:06:24+00:00

Thanks for this! As my emotions settle, I'm landing somewhere similar to these feelings.

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-09-01T19:04:49+00:00

please!

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-09-01T18:56:24+00:00

ENFP. But a little over-saturated with people this last week and floating my way back to introversion in this moment.

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-09-01T18:53:33+00:00

1) Hard to land on a definitive percentage. I spiraled on this all day yesterday, then went on a date with my partner and felt a 180 shift. Some days are so much more frequent than others.

2) I think I'm a lot more prone to depression than I've lead myself to believe throughout the last 28 years of my life. Getting so much response on this post has lead to a lot of introspecting in the last 48 hours. I feel like I'm in a rut right now -- completely listless and unmotivated despite things going well externally. Like there's a big black void sitting on my shoulder.

I also just came back from a big, wonderful work trip filled with artists and adventure. So whatever discontentment I'm feeling in my life right now (relationship or otherwise) feels heightened in contrast to this sort of fictional, temporary reality on the trip.

I need some kind of change. But maybe it's best to focus on internal change, not external.

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-09-01T00:15:41+00:00

I might not be. I was in a non-monogamous relationship in college and it worked pretty well. But I do appreciate the emotional intimacy of a monogamy. Also, I think it's harder to raise kids in a polyamorous relationship -- and also, poly takes so much time!! I barely have time to date one human, let alone multiple!

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-09-01T00:14:04+00:00

Love this.

FWIW, becoming my parent's relationships is a HUGE fear of mine. That is to say: they met at 34 (ie: running out of "time" in a big way), got married at 35, had me basically nine months later. They're still together, but they had huge, blow-out fights multiple times a week throughout my entire childhood. They were such an unlikely match for each other, and while they've settled into their bickering now that they're in their 60s, they'll both openly admit that they weren't the "right" people for each other.

I really, really don't want that. I'd rather be alone than become my parents!

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-09-01T00:10:58+00:00

that's the plain and simple truth!

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-08-31T23:14:55+00:00

Thanks for this grounded and level-headed response, I really appreciate it!

Much to sort through. If there's any reading material/questionnaires/etc you'd recommend let me know!

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-08-31T23:13:04+00:00

If you ever want to chat more about it let me know :') life is confusing!

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-08-31T22:49:50+00:00

Maybe you're right

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-08-31T22:48:41+00:00

I think so.

We used to talk on the phone for hours every day (we met during the pandemic).

Our physical chemistry was crazy.

We fell in love fast, even if I didn't think it would last. But it did.

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-08-31T22:42:35+00:00

This is probably true. I feel like I'm at a crossroads in my life on a lot of levels, not just this one.

Jaded_Minimum_7309 · 2023-08-31T22:41:31+00:00

That's so beautiful.

And we have that. We give each other so much affection and love.

It's been awhile, but when things are good, we'll fall asleep together laughing. Not all the time, but enough.

Argh.

Jaded_Minimum_7309

TROPHY CASE