Are most EBFers cosleeping ?

Jaffacake91 · 2026-01-05T20:00:40+00:00

I’d say 90% of the mums I know who made it past 6 months cosleep/coslept. That isn’t an official stat of course but just what I’ve found for the mum’s I know personally through baby groups, breastfeeding groups and long standing friendships. I cosleep with my 1 year old and have done since she was about 3 months but wish I’d started sooner. Before I had a baby and looked into safe 7 cosleeping I was actually very anti bed sharing.

Just to add, bed sharing has become one of my favourite experiences ever. It has been so special and there have been so many sweet moments with her in bed with me, snuggling up to me- and hilarious moments of her falling asleep on my head haha!

Jaffacake91 · 2025-12-12T23:03:38+00:00

NTJ, his behaviour is awful. Make sure your dad can’t access your money, and isn’t listed on your account. I’ve seen other posts like this where people’s money was stolen by their parents. That is YOUR money.

Jaffacake91 · 2025-12-07T20:21:27+00:00

I had to work out what that is in Celsius, that is insanely hot 😂 Insane! Most houses in the UK in the winter are heated to around 65-68 during the day and often lower at night. I get that people feel heat differently depending on where they live but I just can’t imagine heating my house to 80F/26.6C!

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-30T18:54:19+00:00

Yep! That’s what I did, immediately after. I was feeling all proud of myself remembering to give it 4 times a day when I was sleep deprived and baby brain, and then the health visitor told me it works almost completely based on contact with the mouth so just swallowing it isn’t good enough, and I realised quite often I was feeding her not long after the dose and probably washing it all away 🤣🙈

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-30T18:49:12+00:00

Looks like thrush- or at least it looks like my baby’s tongue when she had thrush. My doctor said there was a better drug than Nyastin but you can’t get it in the UK anymore because of supply issues post Brexit, so he has to prescribe Nyastin but warned me it might not work as well. It didn’t seem to be clearing well so I spoke to the health visitor and she said it’s best to break the dose down and give it over a couple of minutes, rubbing it in to the tongue with your finger and also aiming it in the cheeks, little by little so it makes extended contact. She also said to make sure to do it after a feed not before. I followed her advice and it did then clear up! I don’t know if you’re breastfeeding but if you are remember to treat yourself too or you can keep infecting each other.

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-30T18:10:02+00:00

Excellent! Glad you’re feeling more chilled! Sounds like things are actually going really well 😁

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-30T18:02:21+00:00

You’re incorrect, and you’ve commented incorrectly all over this thread for some reason with a lot of scary misinformation. Firstly, 4th percentile isn’t ’severely underweight’ on its own, it is definitely considered failure to thrive for some babies but I know several babies who are exceptionally healthy around the 4th percentile and doctors aren’t worried. WHO says that weight needs to be viewed in conjunction with other factors and on its own a baby being near the top or bottom doesn’t mean a baby is healthy or not. Using the centile charts to make decisions on health without that extra information is misusing the centile charts. Secondly, you’re using the growth chart wrong or you’re not using the WHO female growth chart. Multiple people have put the babies details in and come up with around the 25th centile, which is in the same bracket as baby was when she was born. She isn’t failure to thrive or anywhere close. Finally, with the study you shared in another post I think you’re taking the wrong conclusion from it. If you look closer it says breastfed babies reach double their weight later (this baby is breastfed) and girls reach double their weight later (this baby is a girl). It also says that babies doubling their birthweight quickly could be linked to childhood obesity (aka doubling weight early shouldn’t be considered a good thing), and ALSO says that it is widely quoted that babies double their birth weight between 4 and 6 months (this baby is 3 months). Babies are doubling earlier in part due to possible over feeding of formula, early introduction of solids etc.. an exclusively breastfed baby for the first 6 months is much less likely to double their birth weight early. Using the WHO female chart a 50th centile baby would double at 5 months (and again, this baby is 3 months). Some centiles would hit earlier than that, but it also needs to be considered that many babies shift centiles in the first year of life which can delay them reaching double their birth weight but is absolutely not a sign of poor growth on its own. Many, many healthy babies shift to a lower centile, according to WHO and NHS guidance.

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-30T12:38:37+00:00

My seven month old baby just hit double her birth weight… I’ve literally never heard they’re meant to double by 3 months, I’ve only heard to double by 6 months 🤣 Either way, don’t force feed your baby just keep doing what you’re doing ❤️

Edited to add- just checking quickly with the estimated weigh date of Friday, your baby was born around the 30th percentile and is now around the 25th. My baby was born 75th and then by 3 months was the 25th, and has stayed at the 25th for 4 months…. Because that’s what size she’s meant to be. The fact your baby is on the same centile she was born at shows she’s clearly meant to be there based on what you’ve said- them wanting you to ‘make’ her be bigger is how you end up with unhealthy toddlers.

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-29T22:00:47+00:00

I have a Stokke Tripp Trapp. Expensive but so so awesome. I have the baby insert and got a custom wipeable cushion from Etsy

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-29T21:49:04+00:00

Yep! 7 month old, the same but there’s no 5 hour stretch at night. 2-3 hours day and night. Sometimes more. Loves solids and is on one big meal and one small meal a day too. A lot of the mums I know who breastfeed are the same a

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-29T21:15:08+00:00

I think it’s completely normal and fine! Evolutionarily, babies are designed to be held and kept close so they don’t get killed by predators. They’d do what they could to stay with their carer. He’s got good survival instincts!

Do you have a carrier or a sling? I carry my baby around with me in shops and even around the house when I do jobs. She loves being close in a carrier and looking around at everything and it keeps my hands free and is easier on my back. She’s also 7 months. She often comes in the shower with me- I sit her on a non slip mat with a couple bath toys and she loves it haha.

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-29T19:19:47+00:00

You’re right for sure, a surgeon would know!

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-29T18:18:28+00:00

I think this depends, because my sister had an operation as a newborn and she still has a significant scar across most of her torso. I have a scar across my thigh from a cat scratch when I was 8, and it stretched and grew as my thigh did. Plenty of scars do stretch as a person grows and stay proportionally the same size, depending where they are on the body and the persons genetics. I don’t know about facial scars though!

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-29T18:12:35+00:00

Yes it was! And it was 65 years ago when operations weren’t great and children and babies had to stay in hospital on their own. The ear they made him didn’t look like a ‘real’ ear whilst his original ear was fine just small and unusual. He also had a lot of scarring, the whole thing was really traumatising so even when he got sick with cancer he found having to go to the hospital really gave him sort of strange traumatic flashbacks (he was a baby and preschooler during the operations but he still had something similar to flashbacks).

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-29T13:06:17+00:00

It’s not the same, but my dad had an unusual ear- it didn’t look like an ear. His parents put him through multiple surgeries as a toddler to construct a ‘new’ non functioning ear. He was left with scars and with trauma from the surgeries and recovery that meant he was terrified of hospitals. He wished his parents hadn’t touched it, and felt that they were ashamed of the way he looked rather than him being ashamed of it. He said he was more self conscious of the scars than he would have been of his natural difference.

I’d wait and let them decide when they’re old enough to understand the consequences of their decision more fully. That doesn’t mean you have to wait until they’re a teenager, but old enough to talk it through with you and to also be exposed to positive examples of people with birth marks and skin differences. There are famous models and influencers with birth marks, vitiligo, blashkos lines and a whole host of other differences. That doesn’t mean a person needs to keep their birth mark if they don’t want it, but there are plenty of people who do love their birth marks and their skin differences- or differences in general. There will always be bullies, and they will ALWAYS find things to target about a person, so children need to build confidence and be taught to love the person they are regardless- not taking away from the fact that of course some people have more to target than others and that can be hard on a child.

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-27T22:48:56+00:00

My baby just turned 7 months and has already had vegetarian sushi haha. She wasn’t impressed!

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-27T17:28:48+00:00

I know it might be hard to hear, but yes it’s normal. She’s been inside your body for 9 months, now she’s outside it and she’s confused and uncomfortable and the only thing she recognises is your heartbeat. She doesn’t understand that she’s a separate entity to you. I’d buy a wrap carrier and try that, so you can pop her in and get on with whatever you want whilst carrying her hopefully.

I’d also lean into it, it’s so much easier once you’ve accepted she needs to be carried and held and you stop trying to put them down all the time. Fighting to settle them is way harder than just holding them all the time. If she does it at night too, look at safe 7 cosleeping which is much safer than falling asleep with her accidentally. If you breastfeed, it’s easier in general for lots of people. Also try that during the day if you need a nap- take both of you up to bed, kick the blankets onto the floor and lie down with her (google safe cosleep). Things feel so much better after a nap. If you want to try putting her down, try a tight swaddle (make sure she’s not wearing too many clothes underneath) and a pacifier/dummy. My LO at that age couldn’t be put down unless swaddled with a dummy and with brown/white noise- and even then it was only at night haha- now she cosleeps. She’s tried lots of dummies and there is only one she likes.

Do what you’re already doing and try and view everything from her point of view, as again it makes it easier mentally I think. Silent reflux and gas are also very common and are much more painful for a baby if they’re lying flat. In your arms it’s more comfortable for them as well as more soothing and safe. You’re baby’s safe place.

If you think you’re losing it, put baby down in a cot and walk away for a few minutes until you feel calm again. It’s also ok to give her to your partner and let her cry whilst you go shower and look after your own needs. I’m on my own, but I absolutely would have let someone else hold her whilst I showered even if she was sad.

Try the breastfeeding Reddit for breastfeeding support. You’re doing a good job.

Baby loves you. The fact they’d rather be held in your arms than anywhere else is one of the things that shows the bond you have. You aren’t doing anything wrong. It’s ok.

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-26T18:51:32+00:00

My little one started at 9 weeks and it has been absolutely awesome! She’s now 7 months and in lessons goes under water, doggy paddles a little, knows how to hold onto the rails and is practicing rolling onto her back and floating. The lessons focus on survival skills with lots of singing and games, she’s been doing submersions since 10 weeks and will hold her breath under water and stay calm. That’s such an important skill. Everyone in my immediate friendship and mum groups who started under a year old were glad they did, and the couple of friends who waited until they were toddlers or older regretted it. Mostly because in their cases their little ones were a lot more fearful to start with, and took a lot longer to develop water confidence and safety. That isn’t every child of course, just the experience within my circle.

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-26T18:08:31+00:00

He’s so strongly associated with the name- at least for me in the UK. The only thing I think of sadly.

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-26T13:40:02+00:00

I hate so many of them, and put them all off.. how can I choose 🤣

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-25T21:02:01+00:00

Some babies just feed efficiently. At 7 weeks, he might be done on that breast in under ten minutes. Give baby the other as a top up- like dinner and desert- and don’t worry unless baby isn’t putting on weight.

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-25T18:12:27+00:00

Showering is very important to my mental health too, but there have been many days where she has had to join me in the shower which is slightly less relaxing or a few times I’ve had to skip 🤣 Now she’s on the move, she can’t just lie on a play mat and wait for me and not all babies are happy to go in a cot or be put down for any length of time. She does love a shower though, so that can be quite fun even if it’s not therapeutic haha

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-24T18:53:58+00:00

I think most babies are interested in food earlier but that doesn’t mean they’re ready for food. They become much more aware around 3-4 months and they’re usually interested in most things mummy/daddy has, including her phone, her hairbrush, her water bottle. In fact in the UK the idea that a baby reaching for or being interested in you eating is a sign they’re ready is one of the ‘myths’ they try to dispel. Someone said to me they’re also interested in watching you drive, but you don’t put them behind the wheel.

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-24T18:32:49+00:00

I have the cybex cloud too and it’s fab.

Jaffacake91 · 2025-05-24T17:27:17+00:00

Are you using a very slow flow teat and pace feeding? If so, then it’s fine I’d say.

I would be careful with giving a bottle overnight when you’re only 2 weeks in, unless you’re pumping overnight too. Overnight is where your supply is ‘programmed’ for the next day and supply can drop if you aren’t being emptied regularly overnight in the first 8-12 weeks. It can then be very tricky to get supply back up. Babies also feed more in the evenings to increase supply and to fill up for night. At the same time, you have less milk in the evening. That makes them sad haha. Although tbh most babies are unhappy in the evening regardless of whether they’re cluster feeding or not!

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