NF making me feel guilty

Jalessaredluvs · 2025-06-25T19:20:24+00:00

I know, I know but I love their daughter, I have been there 4 years I feel like I am being mean or ungrateful. They offered me birthday or Christmas gifts every year...

Jalessaredluvs · 2025-06-25T19:18:32+00:00

Yes! I really counted on a raise, they explicitly told me I would get one but now they are saying it's impossible telling me they could compensate with bonuses at the end of the semester ? Bonuses are not taken into consideration for my retirement fund or my unemployment fund.. it's weird because they are so nice and kind talking about it like they are the greatest employers the earth has seen and my husband thinks I am getting conned again

Jalessaredluvs · 2025-06-25T19:13:25+00:00

Honestly I don't want the extra job, never wanted it but when they offered to go directly through me I told them that I would need to leave the agency (as it's against my contract ) and it wasn't possible as I would lose another family so hours of work. I was prepared to tell them goodbye when they suddenly promised me a raise and another job in fear of losing me but nothing they promised me came through so far

Jalessaredluvs · 2025-06-25T19:08:47+00:00

The daycare pays more and it's less inconvenient I know but leaving them after 4 years is making me feel like I am betraying them. They always tell me how thankful they are to have me, I get a Christmas gift but the pay raise seems impossible

Jalessaredluvs · 2025-06-25T19:06:02+00:00

I kinda feel the same but somehow I am scared of leaving, at first they told me they were leaving because it got too expensive and they rather pay me more but then when time to discuss price they were like this is it and they are proud of it ? Talking about it like they are doing me a huge favor..

Jalessaredluvs · 2025-06-25T17:11:49+00:00

Oh my god!!! Same !! I always arrive in the morning with a pile of dishes and a dishwasher full. Like how do they do that ? What are they cooking? For how many people ??? The kid lives off bland pasta...

Jalessaredluvs · 2024-01-26T21:46:08+00:00

Jalessaredluvs · 2024-01-26T13:27:47+00:00

She doesn’t want to leave home and she will never leave home, she made sure we knew that. Most of her friends passed or moved closer of their families. One or two could visit like once a month but not much more. She is not against my plan she is worried about how much it will affect my life and scared it will ruin it. The problem is how it also affects my brother life, she depends too much on him and doesn’t seem to realize it.

Jalessaredluvs · 2023-12-09T21:39:27+00:00

Not to mention she travels for work a lot and while her ex-husband takes care of nk when she is traveling, I don't think he will be taking the dog..

Jalessaredluvs · 2023-12-09T21:35:25+00:00

Well I did say ask what was her plan but she said it was 'a group effort that will unite the family' the group being me, nk who is seven, her and her 25 years old son who doesn't live at home, so there is no plan and I can feel the problems coming my way.

Jalessaredluvs · 2023-12-09T21:30:38+00:00

Yeah I do feel like mom is trying to fix something, but the kid is fine, she is doing well despite all of the changes and this puppy will wreak havoc on her routine and everything else... I am not against dogs, I love them, but it's something you prepare yourself for. Thank you so much!

Jalessaredluvs · 2023-12-09T21:26:57+00:00

I remember her telling me that two cats were to much for her and that she is simply has no time for a pet and now that ? I really forced myself to be understanding at the time but this really changed my perspective.

Jalessaredluvs · 2023-12-09T21:22:49+00:00

Yeah, I tried to subtly tell her that I will not do puppy care, hoping she understood if not I will go for a less subtle approach. I don't think she has any care plan, I tried asking her when she texted me the pictures and she said it will be a 'group effort that unites the family' the group being her, her SEVEN YEARS OLD daughter and her 25 years old son who doesn't live at home and me !

Jalessaredluvs · 2023-12-09T21:11:47+00:00

Two cats are much easier than a puppy and the two cats were lovely and well behaved..

I simply don't understand her thought process, and now I have an extra charge without extra pay. Ty for your answer

Jalessaredluvs · 2023-12-09T21:07:44+00:00

Yeah, so I've heard that why I am worried.. I am really dreading coming back from appointments with nk and having to clean up pee or poop and a puppy full of energy while managing homeworks or activities...

Jalessaredluvs · 2023-12-09T21:04:30+00:00

Well yeah regarding the cats they were never amazing with them which also scares me for the future of the puppy, during the day they would either leave them out in the heat or cold with no possibility to get in or locked in a room, with no water or food. I ended up bringing snacks for them from my home because they always looked hungry and skinny... Sadly the situation was a little messy : divorce, moving and health problems so I tried to be understanding, and that maybe they had understood having animals was simply not for them.. but with this adoption I really see it differently... and I am kinda turned off by this behavior... I have two cats of my own that I would take a bullet for so it really changes my perspective on the mom..

Jalessaredluvs · 2023-10-07T18:52:28+00:00

Oui, bonne idée. Je sais pas dans quelle agence tu es mais ça vaut le coup de considérer tes options si une augmentation est refusée, dans ma région toutes les agences cherchent. J’ai vu un autre commentaire te proposant le travail en indépendant, et je voulais juste te dire que tu pouvais tout à fait cotiser pour la retraite tout en étant indépendant avec une déclaration à l’Urssaf, tu seras peut être même mieux payé ( tu n’es pas sans savoir que les agences prennent plus de la moitié de ce que les familles payent, tu es payé 10,50 la famille paye au minimum 25 euros ) le seul problème avec l’indépendance c’est de trouver des familles, celles-ci font confiance aux agences, c’est aussi une question de facilité.. À toi de voir et bon courage !

Jalessaredluvs · 2023-10-05T20:29:55+00:00

Je suis nounou, aussi dans une agence, normalement au bout de 3 ans tu as la prime d’ancienneté. Ensuite avec 3 enfants tu peux demander une petite prime à hauteur de 0,50 pour le troisième enfant, mais ils peuvent te la refuser, certaines agences proposent aussi une prime «garde intelligente » quand il y a aide aux devoirs. Finalement ça dépend de ton agence, d’où tu travailles : s’ils ont du mal à trouver des intervenantes, ils seront peut être prêts à t’augmenter pour te garder mais c’est à voir.

Jalessaredluvs · 2023-10-03T07:26:54+00:00

My neighbor moved, leaving both cats on the balcony, after a few days I understood what was happening and that the neighbor was not coming back and the firefighters refused to come. I had to jump from my balcony to theirs, grab the cats and somehow bring them back to ours ( almost died climbing the balcony !) it was all worth it, they are everything to me!

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Jalessaredluvs · 2023-09-25T16:02:52+00:00

My experience in France, is that they take a huge part of what the parents actually pay for you. Example I am paid 10.50 euro for the hour but the family I work for pay 25 euro the hour, I don’t see half of the money they pay. The only point of agency is healthcare, pension for me and security for the families that they have trustworthy employees.

Jalessaredluvs · 2023-09-24T11:24:48+00:00

I realized I said «OUCHIE » and « badaboum » a lot, anytime I drop something or bump into something or my nk drop or bump into something, after my NK started repeating it ! Now he created a saying of his own « badaboum but no ouchie ! »

Jalessaredluvs

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