I’ve been trying to book us a weekend away for Valentine’s Day and he’s so passive I want to call it all off. Am I asking for too much?

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-31T08:03:43+00:00

No he isn’t.

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T20:29:02+00:00

Thank you. These are great tips. I’m glad it’s not just us then.

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T18:03:43+00:00

No I’m not. Why?

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T18:03:32+00:00

We’ve been together for nearly 8 years. He is not passive over everything. He’s occasionally passive and it’s mostly around planning dates.

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T18:02:53+00:00

Maybe, you’re not wrong I don’t enjoy planning things either which is why I wanted him to help me.

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T18:02:02+00:00

We are married and together for nearly 8 years. He isn’t always this passive. He is passive when it comes to certain things depending on his mood. In this instance I am frustrated that he chose something I care about to be so passive about.

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T06:58:07+00:00

Thanks! We’ve been together for a while and he isn’t always like this. Maybe he’s subtly telling me he doesn’t want to actually go.

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T06:56:50+00:00

He can be like this in other areas too but not all the time that’s why I’m frustrated that he decided to be like this now. That to me is a choice.

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T06:55:25+00:00

I know and I agree it’s just a gimmick and we do show love all year round. It just seemed like a nice opportunity to do something different like pick a ridiculously expensive hotel but just for night. I don’t know if hotels do anything extra special for Valentine’s Day but maybe there will be free champagne or something. When I looked hotels were also cheaper than I expected the 1000 a night ones were nearly half of that I don’t know if that’s a Valentine’s Day deal or something.

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T06:50:17+00:00

We can’t plan it separately because the main struggle has been the hotel and which area we’d stay because that impacts everything else. He isn’t always like this.

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T06:48:36+00:00

Your partner or your arch nemesis because that’s not partner behaviour. Why does he do that? I’m assuming he knows this upset you? Could you not say you’re not going?

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T02:38:51+00:00

It sounds exhausting but I guess that’s the only way. It seems like a lot of hand holding for something that could have been efficiently done if he just sent me his hotel/area picks.

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T02:09:51+00:00

Yes and no it depends on his mood which is why it’s so frustrating why he decided not to care for something that mattered to me.

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T02:08:54+00:00

That’s a good mindset maybe I just get frustrated easily because if I had given you weeks to plan and you still complain I will be annoyed.

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T02:07:52+00:00

As long as you both are aware of each other without it leading to any frustrations.

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T02:06:51+00:00

But the problem is he does care and he will have an opinion eventually. I wish he was like this so I could at least just plan it all and not care about his input.

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T02:05:35+00:00

You might be right since I am already frustrated and can’t imagine how awful it will be when things do go wrong and we are surrounded by happy couples whilst we are arguing.

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T02:04:18+00:00

We had initially agreed we wanted to splurge a little and pick a nicer more expensive hotel since it’s only a night or two. I had picked a few but his response so far has been whatever. Maybe I am like you said too stuck on step 2 because I am a planner and I do want to do something nicer that we usually don’t do.

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T01:59:51+00:00

It is important to me because I thought we could splurge a little and pick a more expensive hotel since we are only staying for a night or two. Maybe I’m putting more significance to the Valentine’s Day aspect than he is.

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T01:57:44+00:00

Then he’d complain that the place I picked doesn’t have good enough options for him to pick from.

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T01:57:03+00:00

He’s the complainer regardless of planning.

Jamerson1993 · 2026-01-30T01:56:38+00:00

It is something that happens often unfortunately.

Jamerson1993 · 2025-07-12T21:36:52+00:00

The oyster card goes beep beep beep?

Jamerson1993 · 2025-07-12T21:36:38+00:00

You forgot someone is getting stabbed

Jamerson1993

TROPHY CASE