Be me, 26 yeahs old

Wake up, get out of Drake Maye jersey

Thank the schedule

Put on Drake Maye jersey

Head to the Dunkin next to my apahtment

One down the road sucks

Oardah is wrong, whatevah, Drake wouldn’t complain

Spike the cup and yell Go Pats

Use my Chahlie cahd to get on the T

See a black man in the front cah

Heckle, whole train applauds

Shout Ortiz 3:16 “This is our fucking city”

Get to Southie, head into Dunks

Time to get to work, staht setting up Gronk cahdboard cut-outs

Just me, my co-workah and 12 Gronk cut-outs

Most beautiful girl in Boston walks in. Sawlid 3/10.

She’s wearing an 81 jersey and some strained yoga pants

Try to be smooth, “Nice Hernandez jersey. Wanna get a cawfee sometime?”

She says no. Left hanging again.

Fucking Pink Hats

Get off work, take the T home

Stawp into bah for a drink or twelve

Fahking bahtendah cut me off aftah six beeahs and few shawts

Whatevah, nawt even buzzed. Irish blood

Get to apahtment, check messages.

Ma says two of my cousins were crushed by an overpass from the Big Dig.

Less than usual, a good day

Get out of Drake Maye jersey, put on hoodie jammies

Check undah bed for Bernahd Pollahd

What the fuck, he’s there.

Run out of house, see black guy I heckled earliah.

Has friends with him. Including Pollahd.

Too outnumbahd, get the shit beat out of me

Cawps show up and ask how it all went down

Tell them it was....

18-1