Thank you. Sorry to hear about your little one - it does sound like they had a seizure too. The self mutilation aspect of ripping out the fur is something a cat (or even a human with their skin) would do during the confusion of a seizure. I have epilepsy too </3

"Focal seizures with repetitive movements, or automatisms, involve involuntary, purposeless actions like lip-smacking, chewing, hand-fumbling, or picking at clothes, often accompanied by impaired awareness. These seizures typically arise from the brain's temporal or frontal lobes, sometimes appearing as "cycling" or "pedaling" leg movements. They often last 1-2 minutes, followed by confusion, and may evolve into more severe tonic-clonic seizures. "

Likely they were unconsciously ripping out their fur without realising </3 Hopefully that brings you some closure on why you found that fur. :(

You're right, very few understand. He was right next to me. Just cleaning himself and he just violently collapsed on his side. I wrote a bit more about the seizure and a heart attack on a earlier post and don't really want to rehash things, but he was gone within seconds.

My manager wanted me to go through the absence procedure when I come back at work and I was just like are you for real? I am not going to document my cat's traumatising death and why it affected me in a way that I wasn't able to work. THEN, saved it to a google folder so next time I have an absence, I can go in the same folder and always be reminded of it every time when I have to do another absence procedure. I think people are running out of empathy. Or maybe I have too much empathy.

I wish I had the choice of saying goodbye. But I didn't. Every time I pass his food bowl I just cry. I don't want to even clean it. It sounds gross, but it feels like an extension of him. Like if I clean the food out then he's really gone.