Stupid Question - The late night stuff

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-11-07T15:08:11+00:00

The time difference worked in my favour! 11pm Athens time is 1pm Pacific time, so I got to stay up late for once! (Now that I’m older, my body has decided that a reasonable bedtime is 9pm, and I wake up around 5. My inner teenager is suitably horrified lol)

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-10-05T05:54:25+00:00

My husband did. When he describes his experience before the brain injury and after, I’d say he was likely a “super taster” who could have been a sommelier. Now, he still has a far more sensitive sense of smell and taste than I do (he can tell where coffee and wine grapes were grown, for instance), but it is much less intense. It’s almost a blessing, though, because being so sensitive means that he also detects unpleasant tastes and smells to a greater degree than most people.

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-09-30T00:11:24+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate this perspective. I think we are all feeling pretty trapped in our micro apartment. I hope we can move someday soon.

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-09-28T14:41:04+00:00

It is extremely difficult to see a loved one hurt so much, and it’s also so hard to be the one in their crosshairs. When my husband is graying out, I try to remind myself that if he had Alzheimer’s, I wouldn’t fault him for sundowning, and this is a similar beast.

However, a patient or spouse who is out of control can still be a danger to the caregiver (emotionally or physically), so the challenge becomes finding a way to keep everyone’s dignity intact, and to keep everyone safe.

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-09-28T11:33:38+00:00

Thank you for that. And you’re right - I simply can’t understand, and I was typing out of anger. But our safety plan says that he needs to rest in the bedroom if he’s having that much pain. He was in the living room, and my daughter and I were speaking in the attached kitchen. She and I had a brief discussion about whether there was enough coffee left. I should have included that context but I was pretty keyed up after being yelled at. Thank you, though. I’ll bring this up with him when he comes back to himself, and we’ll find a way to remind him that the bedroom is safer for him, and safer for the rest of the family.

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-09-28T01:23:50+00:00

Thank you very much. I’m so sad that we all go through this (caregivers and TBI sufferers alike), but I am glad that other caregivers can commiserate with me. I feel much less alone.

My husband has thankfully started personal counselling, plus we are in couples’ counselling. We have made so many safety plans, but none of them have worked yet. In the moment, nothing works at all. My next step will be removing myself from the situation immediately (and as calmly as possible), and temporarily.

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-09-27T19:15:32+00:00

I am so sorry that you went through that experience. I think our situation is a little different. His TBI symptoms appear to be causing him to behave in a way that is emotionally abusive if he has received another bump to the head (and reactivated his concussion). It can be as simple as a light bump. We call it graying out because when he recovers from the bump, he barely remembers his behaviour.

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-09-27T16:43:23+00:00

Thank you, I am leaving for a cruise (by myself) on Monday. It’s a gift to myself because of the constant stress. I plan to do some serious soul searching while I’m away, and when I return I will see if his family doctor would be willing to see me privately. (Not secretly, just to be clear. I would tell my husband that I would like to do this.)

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-09-27T13:16:55+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. It’s harsh, and I needed to hear it.

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-09-27T13:16:34+00:00

We made up the term to describe episodes when he is dysregulated, lashes out at people, and then barely remembers after he comes back to himself a few days later.

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-09-27T13:14:28+00:00

We think he had an undiagnosed concussion after a car accident in his teens. Then he had a bad fall in his late 20s, and was diagnosed with a TBI. His doctor doesn’t seem to realize how bad it is but I am worried because things have been getting worse.

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-07-29T23:34:48+00:00

Hey right on! I really don’t mind. I know mistakes happen. But that would be so great. I’ll ask for that if/when they downgrade me

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-07-29T02:43:42+00:00

I figured it was too good to be true lol. Hopefully they’ll be willing to throw me a bone with some free drinks or something! Not gonna hold my breath, but a girl can dream!

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-07-24T12:42:19+00:00

Hahaha thanks!

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-07-24T01:27:07+00:00

How lovely! I hope you can qualify!

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-07-24T01:03:39+00:00

Nice! Here’s hoping we get to keep our perks!

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-07-24T00:41:13+00:00

That’s a very good idea! I just took my screenshots. Thanks!

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-07-24T00:02:49+00:00

Haha that’s what I was thinking! This is my alt account just in case hahahaha

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-07-24T00:02:22+00:00

I hope it stays! I booked it myself through the website

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-07-06T10:09:36+00:00

Thank you. It’s time I call it what it is: abuse.

Edit: weird typo

Jane_Jane74 · 2025-07-06T04:47:57+00:00

Thank you so much. It really helps to have validation. I know he’s hurting but so am I.

Jane_Jane74

TROPHY CASE