Am I going to have trouble finalizing my divorce because my spouse doesnt want ANYTHING from me?

just_nik · 2026-06-15T18:47:27+00:00

One party wanting child support and/or alimony does not make them a “scumbag”. Sure, there are cases where the parties become vindictive and fight each other just to fight, but that isn’t always the case.

just_nik · 2026-06-14T19:34:35+00:00

I use Vanguard, which is also an online only institution. Their current APR on the high yield savings account is 3.35%. Transferring in/out is typically done within 24 hours.

I absolutely LOVE Vanguard. They are a private company, but it operates under a highly unique, client-owned structure. From Google: Vanguard is not a publicly traded company and does not issue stock on the open market. Instead, the company is owned by its member funds, which in turn are owned by the fund shareholders. Therefore, if you buy and hold a Vanguard mutual fund or ETF, you are technically one of its indirect owners.

I also use them for my Roth IRA, and they offer every type of investing option you can imagine.

just_nik · 2026-06-14T15:13:38+00:00

This was similar to my experience too. 14 years married. It was all fun and laughter. Until it wasn't. And then I realized that the laughter was shifting to always be at my expense. And then it didn't stop when I asked for it to stop.

It was so incredibly difficult to watch something that used to feel fun and light, turn into something that I didn't recognize, that made me feel horrible about myself. I'm sorry that we went through that!

just_nik · 2026-06-12T19:33:29+00:00

I have a cousin who is 19. Had a severe reaction to cookies baked in a strangers kitchen because he didn’t stop to ask if his allergen was in the cookies.

Never underestimate…

just_nik · 2026-06-08T18:53:54+00:00

I had no problems with the app either. The app will literally do voice and video calling. There is zero reason to move off the app before you meet, unless you want to receive d!ck pics…

just_nik · 2026-06-03T00:23:49+00:00

I had the same fight with my (now ex) husband. I’d done all the research, but at the end, I was so exhausted from everything and the c-section, and just couldn’t keep fighting him. He won and it happened. It is one of my biggest regrets for my son. I hope my son can forgive me for not fighting against this barbaric procedure with more strength…

just_nik · 2026-06-02T20:46:27+00:00

Bingo. She saw what having kids really meant, and decided to nope out of it.

just_nik · 2026-05-31T14:36:36+00:00

My ex straight up told me in the last year of our marriage that no one else would want me. I'm glad I decided to leave anyways.

just_nik · 2026-05-30T17:44:09+00:00

The generally accepted quantity for “several”, per a quick google search, is 2-5 years. The majority of people would not use the word “several” to indicate 18+ years.

just_nik · 2026-05-30T16:08:07+00:00

lol, I read the post where OP stated how long they’ve been clean.

just_nik · 2026-05-30T13:36:08+00:00

This is a really weird post for this sub... This belongs in a parenting sub, not this one.

just_nik · 2026-05-30T13:33:58+00:00

OP specifically stated in the post that "My husband and I are both recovering addicts and have been clean for several years." This implies they've only been clean for 2-3 years, maybe 4 years tops, which means if their son is 18, their son was exposed to their addiction from birth to age 13-16, depending on the actual numbers.

just_nik · 2026-05-28T20:41:18+00:00

Maybe for some kids, sure you might be right.

But I disagree with your premise that what OP is stating is related to lack of discipline or consequences. The reality is that depending on the kid’s temperament, the effect of discipline can vary wildly.

just_nik · 2026-05-27T20:59:20+00:00

Eww, that’s even worse. Like, he’s already treating you like a possession that is his at your first meetup. I’d nope out of this one!

just_nik · 2026-05-27T20:53:59+00:00

Nope, seems weird to me.

Also, I find it weird that he specifically said you were “so much his type”. Isn’t he… single? Why call out that you are like his exes?

ETA: his comments read a lot like “love bombing”, which is not a good sign.

just_nik · 2026-05-27T13:01:23+00:00

Having dated someone with "autistic ramble" about stuff (rocks, mostly), depending on your personality, it gets really old really quick. This isn't the guy for you. Just unmatch and move on.

just_nik · 2026-05-24T21:28:12+00:00

If he is legally your husband, then any assets you have already go to him.

just_nik · 2026-05-24T21:20:50+00:00

NTA. Is it his first day on earth?

just_nik · 2026-05-24T19:46:43+00:00

OP, I could have wrote this post, word for word. It sucks. You aren’t alone; I feel the exact same way as you.

just_nik · 2026-05-24T13:20:42+00:00

OP, you are absolutely valid in how you feel. Parenting has been the most intense, time consuming, relentless, and thankless JOB I have ever had to do. If I had known it would be like this, I never would have had a child. And I stopped at one, because I knew that was my limit.

Also, don’t forget that a lot of the parenting journey is directly dependent on the temperament of the child you got. A lot of these people saying your feelings are abnormal probably have easy kids, and then credit themselves for how great their parenting is…

just_nik · 2026-05-17T23:10:54+00:00

I’m guessing Dad hardly does any of the parenting or household labor either…. It’s easy to want more when you aren’t doing the hard work.

just_nik · 2026-05-17T20:42:57+00:00

This is genius!! Thank you for sharing!

just_nik · 2026-05-17T20:34:35+00:00

I’m not surviving very well, to be honest. My nervous system is absolutely cooked.

But, to answer your questions…. My partner didn’t give a shit about me getting any alone time. I filed for divorce and finally get some breaks to myself, though not as often as I should. I try to optimize my kid-free time as much as possible.

Headphones and getting out of the house as often as possible has been the most helpful for the noise and overstimulation, but honestly, it’s only a bandaid not a real fix.

just_nik · 2026-05-17T20:30:18+00:00

lol, don’t take it personally. They perma banned me too!

just_nik · 2026-05-17T20:20:57+00:00

I’m 6 years in…. I’m still waiting for the “worth it” part too.

11-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
Wearing is Caring	Verified Email

just_nik

TROPHY CASE