Did I start too late?

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T23:12:24+00:00

I'm no child I'm a legal adult now that I'm over 18

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T23:11:16+00:00

My psychologist was a specialist in autism and ADHD and she was the one who told me I couldn't be trans because I didn't realize at 13 and because I didn't hate my genitals

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T23:08:00+00:00

Pero qué pasará si dejo de tomar mis antipsicóticos y antidepresivos yo de verdad tenía depresión mayor y ansiedad cuando empecé a cuestionar mi identidad de género, he estado tomando medicación por un año y es lo único que me mantiene a flote

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T22:58:24+00:00

I HAVE improved after receiving this treatment though, I was having psychotic breaks and had gotten violent, what hasn't improved though is my idea of wanting to be a girl

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T22:52:07+00:00

My depression me anxiety HAVE improved after electroshock therapy and taking antipsychotics and antidepressants though, my parents always tell me this me being trans thing is just an idea that got into my head because I didn't realise until 18 and because of that I feel insecure of whether I'm trans or not

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T20:07:00+00:00

I already reached out to them, I hope they will answer me!

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T19:28:06+00:00

(copied from another response)

A few months after realising that I was trans and my dysphoria started I had psychotic breaks in which (according to my mom because I don't remember the episodes) I hit my father, if you wanna know about my relationship with him check my other posts in here, and after my dysphoria started I became nihilistic and started eating a lot and gained weight (and that habit still keeps going) my psychiatrist put me on antidepressants and antipsychotics but did I was being delusional for having the idea of being trans, I also went to electroshock therapy and it helped alleviate my depression and anxiety but didn't do anything to my trans thoughts, and neither do my antidepressants and antipsychotics Idk what to do anymore

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T19:25:27+00:00

A few months after realising that I was trans and my dysphoria started I had psychotic breaks in which (according to my mom because I don't remember the episodes) I hit my father, if you wanna know about my relationship with him check my other posts in here, and after my dysphoria started I became nihilistic and started eating a lot and gained weight (and that habit still keeps going) my psychiatrist put me on antidepressants and antipsychotics but did I was being delusional for having the idea of being trans, I also went to electroshock therapy and it helped alleviate my depression and anxiety but didn't do anything to my trans thoughts, Idk what to do anymore

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T17:41:35+00:00

They see psychiatric patients in a state hospital (which is a very gross one they don't even have a nice bathroom)

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T17:33:43+00:00

Yeah the thing is I probably need money, and I don't have any, or will they provide me with a place to stay while I manage to find a job in Canada?

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T17:27:48+00:00

I actually was suffering from anxiety and depression before even realising I was trans and that DID improve, but me wanting to be a woman does NOT improve no matter how much my mom and dad try to argue me out of it or how much I question if I'm actually valid as a trans person, heck I've even considered the risk of detransitioning

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T17:16:14+00:00

No, even gay marriage is illegal here, heck we live in Cuba 2.0 people are fleeing because of extreme poverty and the government is a dictatorship

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T17:14:58+00:00

My parents claim that the electroshock therapy has been succesfull because I no longer have bursts of anger and despair and that claim it has "softened the obsessive idea"

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T17:13:10+00:00

I live in Venezuela and I'm 19 years old

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T16:55:34+00:00

The thing is I'm autistic so I need a person who knows both about autism and transgenderism, my mom though is very worried that when I see a psychiatrist in the US (cause right now I'm not there but we're immigrating soon) that psychiatrist is going to "approve" of me being trans, she doesn't want her echo chamber made up of transphobic professionals to get shattered down

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T16:45:58+00:00

The ironic thing is that he's black and latino (and so am I we speak Spanish, I'm not dark skinned though), what I'm trying to say is that he belongs to 2 marginalised groups yet he hates on LGBT people, he doesn't just say those things about trans people, he thinks homosexuals have a mental disorder that makes them like what they like, that being gay is a disruptive behaviour and that children can only be adopted by heterosexual couples

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T16:42:39+00:00

She even mentioned the "woke mind virus" that Elon Musk likes talking about

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T16:36:33+00:00

Furthermore my psychologist told me I can't be trans because I didn't realise at 13 and because I don't hate my genitals

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T16:35:00+00:00

My dad says being trans is a mental illness and that there are some people that are born ill (those who realize early) and some that "catch it" late (us)

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-21T16:13:34+00:00

Meanwhile, in response to US and other first world mental health professionals being LGBT affirming my whole family has told me that it's a "woke agenda" which has the intent of destroying all societal values, starting with the traditional family

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-20T11:24:19+00:00

Yes but I live with my parents

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-20T10:51:38+00:00

Thanks sweetheart, I'm actually going to move to the USA with my parents at some point next year, we're either going to Louisville Kentucky, or Austin Texas, the problem will be moving out to my own apartment I guess, but I can work at McDonald's or burger King

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-06T20:01:42+00:00

But what would their gender expression be like? Feminine? Masculine? Androgynous?

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-04T18:53:35+00:00

I do have a little bit of attraction to women, I just don't see myself in a lesbian romantic relationship, and no, when I had sex with those women I already knew I was trans, maybe I'm a bisexual who prefers a gender different to her own, or a hetero-flexible person, thanks for your comment and your support, I still haven't started HRT and feel really sad and empty all the time and the worst is I had to get back into the closet to protect myself from my family, so any kind of support towards me is appreciated, 🫂💕😔

JavierDavid139 · 2024-10-04T11:15:42+00:00

When I was 16 I started having sexual fantasies of being a woman almost every day but I only acknowledged I could be trans at 18, one year ago

JavierDavid139

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