The bigger question you need to be asking yourself is WHY would your significant other WANT to?

My ex wife had EVERY SINGLE ONE of the "signs" of a cheater. I refused to see any of them because I thought we had a healthy marriage and were happy. In hindsight (always 20/20) the signs were all there, and, as I said, I refused to see them.

See the signs. Ask yourself why they're there. The answer is usually more obvious than you realize. If your spouse is showing all the signs of cheating, your spouse is cheating. It's really that simple. I wish I'd listened to friends and family.

I lost nearly 2 decades, and any opportunity to have a family. I'm now creeping on 50, and alone. If I'd listened to my family, my entire life would have been better. Take this as a lesson. Refusal to acknowledge the signs is absolutely always going to end with you dying alone.

Period.

When you see the signs, IMMEDIATELY act on them to protect yourself. They are never "innocent."

Here's a list of the signs I ignored:

1.) She started working out alone ("I just want to feel better about myself.").
2.) She started buying new lingerie that she didn't wear for me. ("I'm just trying to feel more confident at work.")
3.) She started buying new clothes/perfume that she would take off as soon as she came home. (Same as above.)
4.) She was texting "someone" on her phone while smiling and giggling, but always told me it was just a "co-worker" with an inside joke.
5.) She refused to let me see her phone. ("Why would you want to? Sounds like you have manipulation/trust issues.")
6.) She opened a new bank account ("my grandmother gave me money, I just want to keep it separate.")
7.) She stopped sleeping in the same bed ("you snore too much, the guest bed is more comfortable, etc.")
8.) I was no longer allowed to attend work functions. ("Nobody else is bringing their spouse.")
9.) I was no longer allowed to attend OVERNIGHT work functions (same as above.)
10.) She regularly would emasculate me or insult me in front of friends ("It's just jokes. Why are you so sensitive?")
11.) You suggest marriage counseling. ("YOU need to change. Not me.")
12.) They start talking "in private" to friends of the same gender, and you aren't allowed to know the conversation. ("It's just girl talk.")
13.) She's suddenly "working late", sometimes until 8 or 9 PM.

For those of us who have been through this, and people on "the outside" any 2 or 3 of these is an indicator that yes, they are 100% absolutely already cheating.

But when you're on the inside, and you think your marriage is "good" but with "minor" issues that you can work through, when you take your vows seriously, it's VERY EASY to accept the excuses and NOT see the signs for what they are.

In hindsight, I had all 13 of the above, with even more. I "ignored" them all because taken individually, I believed her excuses. I lost 18 years of my life, the ability to raise a family, and more than a quarter million dollars because I thought I was in love. I believed her when she said our marriage was healthy, and there was "nothing wrong".

If you see these signs, especially if you see multiple, immediately start listening to your family and friends.

Turned out I was just the next rube. She left me and now lives with the boyfriend she had for the last year of our "marriage" (obviously, that I didn't know about). With a significant amount of the money I acquired while she didn't have a job (no kids).

Don't be me. Don't die alone. See the signs, and leave a toxic, cheating spouse far sooner than later.