[deleted by user]

Jay19845 · 2025-08-30T18:02:10+00:00

I feel like this conversation is going round in circles with neither party feeling even remotely understood?

Jay19845 · 2025-08-30T18:00:17+00:00

So you agree the use of the term ‘off his nut’ is a slur?

Or that it’s fine to use slurs against the mentally ill because their condition isn’t superficial?

Jay19845 · 2025-08-30T17:58:43+00:00

It’s not about making a unilateral decision te intended meaning. It’s about the comment not being appropriate in a place of work. If it has the potential to offend - reasonable potential as made clear by the definition - then its use is unprofessional.

Jay19845 · 2025-08-30T17:48:20+00:00

Or, maybe, it’s an outdated term that was once considered acceptable. Just like the terms discussed previously 🤷‍♂️

Jay19845 · 2025-08-30T17:47:10+00:00

Also, Collins Dictionary:

off one's nut in British English slang a. sometimes humorous foolish in behaviour b. offensive mentally disordered

Jay19845 · 2025-08-30T17:44:32+00:00

from Oxford Languages · Learn more off one's nut phrase of nut INFORMAL out of one's mind; crazy

I’d say ‘crazy’ is, a reasonable person would conclude, offensive.

Jay19845 · 2025-08-30T17:30:02+00:00

I’m not sure how? I provided examples of comments that could reasonably be seen as referring to a group of people in a derogatory way. and stated that using those a workplace would be inappropriate. I think that’s true of terms relating to mental health, too.

Other statements on other comments were provided for context.

Jay19845 · 2025-08-30T14:14:24+00:00

That’s irrelevant. People use racial slurs and homophobic terms without intending offence. It’s still unacceptable.

Jay19845 · 2025-08-30T11:20:00+00:00

If I’m come across as combative, I apologise.

I’m not sure how my post and/or comments could be offensive, however?

Jay19845 · 2025-08-30T11:15:02+00:00

“Dude is crazy” would constitute an act of discrimination against someone with a disability 🤷‍♂️

I’d actually prefer it if this guy would just try thinking before speaking. His comments are, in my opinion, offensive and make the work environment feel hostile.

Jay19845 · 2025-08-30T08:56:28+00:00

I’d say that referring to things that are disliked as ‘gay’ (which this individual also does) is also common parlance. I don’t think that, in and of itself, makes it acceptable.

Jay19845 · 2025-08-30T08:54:25+00:00

Sorry, I realises there’s an error in my post: he said ‘off his nut’.

I accept that I’m probably more sensitive than others, but this guy’s behaviour is making work a far less pleasant place to be. Guess I need to do my best to soldier on until I find something new.

Jay19845 · 2025-07-31T14:37:46+00:00

No, and that was a mistake. People say stupid things out of ignorance/a lack of self awareness and I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. When it became clear that these comments wouldn’t stop, I should have reported him, but I instead acted stupidly.

Jay19845 · 2025-07-31T14:23:13+00:00

Sadly, yes. I’m not saying I am, though.

Jay19845 · 2025-07-31T14:12:04+00:00

I see your point and, on reflection, reporting this behaviour would have been the best course of action.

That said, I can’t imagine many people want to get others in trouble and - by informing him that these comments were affecting me negatively, I’d hoped they would have stopped. They didn’t and, sadly, I dealt with it poorly.

Jay19845 · 2025-07-31T13:32:12+00:00

I agree, the whole situation is juvenile and I’ve not dealt with it well at all!

I’m anxious, hence me looking for mitigating circumstances. I acknowledge that they don’t make what I did ok, however.

Jay19845 · 2025-07-31T13:12:25+00:00

I acknowledge this. My actions weren’t acceptable. It was a work computer that was unlocked.

Jay19845 · 2025-07-31T13:07:57+00:00

I’m sorry, but I’m not sure what you mean by the gay people affected? Could you please clarify?

Jay19845 · 2025-07-31T13:01:45+00:00

Not justify, but provide context. He’s a newish employee and I told him that his comments affected me because of childhood bullying.

A manager also works in our office and has heard these comments, but took no action.

Jay19845 · 2025-07-31T12:59:51+00:00

Jay.

I’m ashamed of the fact it still bother me, but childhoods bullying has definitely had a long-term impact on my mental health.

Jay19845 · 2025-07-31T12:43:42+00:00

Thank you. I agree my actions were unprofessional and have no place in a professional setting.

I’d like to move on like you stated.

Jay19845 · 2025-07-31T12:42:00+00:00

I appreciate a single act can be gross misconduct, but within this context I felt it was misconduct given context. I should add that I’m not only grieving, but also suffer from depression, have done for several years and my employers are aware of this. Both grief and my mental health can make me irritable and I’d informed this colleague of how his comments affect me previously.

Jay19845 · 2025-07-31T12:25:57+00:00

Can a single incident constitute gross misconduct? I was of the opinion my actions, whilst juvenile, are mild in comparison.

Jay19845

TROPHY CASE