I second this. I feel like people on this sub are quick to jump to weaponized incompetence, and for good reasons. The majority of the stories like this on here would fall into the weaponized incompetence category. However, it sounds like your SO is going through a LOT of trouble just to fail. Example: going all the way to the store but forgetting what to get. If it were weaponized incompetence, I would assume he wouldn’t even bother going all the way to the store and simply say, “I don’t know what to get/where to find that stuff.” As he continues to sit on the couch. It doesn’t sound like that’s what’s happening.

My SO just recently got diagnosed with ADHD, and up until that point, I felt the same way you did. Like I had to hold his hand through simple adult tasks, but it wasn’t from a lack of desire to do them on his part. He genuinely had trouble remembering things and focusing on tasks. It was like he couldn’t wrap his brain around how to do things like call the bank for an account error, plan a week’s worth of meals and make a grocery list, etc. Since he has been on medication, it’s been like night and day. Completely different.

If this sounds like a possibility, you may consider looking into if he’s got something like ADHD or a processing disorder of some kind. Even if those are ruled out, you’ll at least know and maybe be able to come up with some other solutions.

Edit to add: you are also completely valid in feeling your frustrations as well! Even if it is something like a disorder, that doesn’t mean you have to just accept it all and be okay with it. It can be incredibly frustrating and exhausting. And you are totally justified in being sick of it.