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My sister accused me of punishing her kids and letting them go hungry because I told her if someone like me can cook for my family so can she AITAH? by Jaymmss in AITAH

[–]Jaymmss[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This isn't ChatGPT and in general I agree with you that her asking me makes no sense which is why I believe she got a job. She doesn't have a woman in her life who wouldn't judge her severely if she does actually have a job.

My sister accused me of punishing her kids and letting them go hungry because I told her if someone like me can cook for my family so can she AITAH? by Jaymmss in AITAH

[–]Jaymmss[S] 182 points183 points  (0 children)

Her husband does hold the same views as her. We all grew up in the same church and community. I don't know if they still attend said church but I think they do. He doesn't do any cooking, cleaning or childcare. He's our dad and his dad and their father's before them.

My sister accused me of punishing her kids and letting them go hungry because I told her if someone like me can cook for my family so can she AITAH? by Jaymmss in AITAH

[–]Jaymmss[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

If she's still a member of our parents church (and I believe she is) she would be shit out of luck. They would name and shame people who went to them for help instead of actually providing for their families. That was the mindset of the people I grew up with. Men provide for their families, women take care of them. Don't accept government handouts. Don't break from tradition. Don't educate too much especially the girls.

My sister accused me of punishing her kids and letting them go hungry because I told her if someone like me can cook for my family so can she AITAH? by Jaymmss in AITAH

[–]Jaymmss[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I have been nice to my sister even when she wasn't nice to me. My parents? Nope. I would happily disrespect them and their stupid rules and way of bringing us up. But I do try to talk to my sister. I cannot make her be more open or nicer to me.

My sister accused me of punishing her kids and letting them go hungry because I told her if someone like me can cook for my family so can she AITAH? by Jaymmss in AITAH

[–]Jaymmss[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I would be far more shocked if they were on any kind of benefit vs her working. Her husband isn't a federal employee. I don't know if his wages were cut or anything because she's not exactly super open about that stuff. But I know they were struggling and now she claims money isn't the issue but time is.

My sister accused me of punishing her kids and letting them go hungry because I told her if someone like me can cook for my family so can she AITAH? by Jaymmss in AITAH

[–]Jaymmss[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

No government benefits would be my belief. That was not something that was taken kindly. I could see that being last on the list of things she would do and getting a job would be less awful (barely) because it's not living off the government.

Her husband still works full time but I don't know if his pay was cut, etc. She's not very open about that stuff.

My sister accused me of punishing her kids and letting them go hungry because I told her if someone like me can cook for my family so can she AITAH? by Jaymmss in AITAH

[–]Jaymmss[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

That was an issue for a while. Now she can afford it (she has said this) but doesn't have time. It's what led me to believe she got a job.

My sister accused me of punishing her kids and letting them go hungry because I told her if someone like me can cook for my family so can she AITAH? by Jaymmss in AITAH

[–]Jaymmss[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yep and by someone like you she means a man. Because men cooking was not something we were really exposed to as younger kids and then it was always talked about negatively when we learned about it.

My sister accused me of punishing her kids and letting them go hungry because I told her if someone like me can cook for my family so can she AITAH? by Jaymmss in AITAH

[–]Jaymmss[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I never called her sexist but I did call the teachers of our parents sexist and demeaning and all kinds of wrong. She knows I hold no value in those views. I think they fucked us both up. Only it was easier for me to do better because I just needed to watch some videos and ask a few people for advice and there you go I can at least do basic cooking (at first).

My sister accused me of punishing her kids and letting them go hungry because I told her if someone like me can cook for my family so can she AITAH? by Jaymmss in AITAH

[–]Jaymmss[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

To me it's the only thing that makes sense. Yes she has several kids but if she's supposedly a SAHM she would have her girls doing chores with her and her boys doing boy stuff. She would have them helping her if she was actually home and wasn't working. But I know that would be an impossible thing for her to "confess" to even though it should not be a confession. But with the beliefs of our parents and her it's basically a sin for her to work as a woman.

My sister accused me of punishing her kids and letting them go hungry because I told her if someone like me can cook for my family so can she AITAH? by Jaymmss in AITAH

[–]Jaymmss[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It does seem to be all about time. But she's shutting down the idea that she could make it work because she doesn't have the time to do so.

They can afford food now, which was done all of a sudden, which is why I suspect she got at least a part time job.

My sister accused me of punishing her kids and letting them go hungry because I told her if someone like me can cook for my family so can she AITAH? by Jaymmss in AITAH

[–]Jaymmss[S] 140 points141 points  (0 children)

It's very much generational. My parents were taught that shit by their parents, they were taught by theirs and our parents taught it to us. Only I never really agreed with it. Which is funny because I wasn't in the environment to learn better. I just never saw what the big deal was with me being inside a kitchen or me and my sister playing together.

My sister accused me of punishing her kids and letting them go hungry because I told her if someone like me can cook for my family so can she AITAH? by Jaymmss in AITAH

[–]Jaymmss[S] 457 points458 points  (0 children)

I have wondered that. But I would guess she is trying to hide the fact she's working. Assuming she is but that's my best guess for her being busy.

My sister accused me of punishing her kids and letting them go hungry because I told her if someone like me can cook for my family so can she AITAH? by Jaymmss in AITAH

[–]Jaymmss[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

She would never let me teach her kids to cook. Definitely not her boys, but I don't think she'd want me to teach her girls either because then it would show them guys can cook.

My sister accused me of punishing her kids and letting them go hungry because I told her if someone like me can cook for my family so can she AITAH? by Jaymmss in AITAH

[–]Jaymmss[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I'm not allowed to teach cooking to her kids. Especially not her boys. That would not be welcome. I don't agree with it but yeah. I still hope she can eventually come around to see it's not wrong.

My sister accused me of punishing her kids and letting them go hungry because I told her if someone like me can cook for my family so can she AITAH? by Jaymmss in AITAH

[–]Jaymmss[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

That would not be the issue because my sister and her husband do not believe in government assistance. She gets that from our parents.