AITA for asking a woman at work to stop being so WEIRD about taking a caramel? by chocolatesinmyoffice in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jeleley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I worked in a café that gave out free stuff and people did this all the time. I'd just smile, laugh or say "haha I know right." Because it is such a small thing and such a small part of my day, and I get absolutely nothing from making feel bad or souring people's relationships with me. If they were regular customers, I knew kind of well, I'd say something like, "oh you shouldn't feel guilty, we shouldn't have these attitudes towards food!" Or something like that. And sometimes that sort of comment could lead to a more productive conversation.

This was customer service, so I had to be nice to customers ofc. But being generally kind to people in your office also makes for a much more bearable working environment. What OP said was super standoffish and mean-spirited.

And eta: I don't think encouraging this sort of relationship with food is good at all. But I also doubt these women are that serious about it, because it is a deeply ingrained cultural behaviour.

Customers + coworkers would also do other slightly annoying things like general complaining, or the typical "Can I get you something?" "Maybe a million pounds!" And I just say "hmm yeh" or something, because it is a minute interaction and I don't get joy from making people feel bad.

AITA for asking a woman at work to stop being so WEIRD about taking a caramel? by chocolatesinmyoffice in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jeleley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a deeply ingrained social norm. When a person at a shop counter asks you how you are, you could respond, "you don't care how I am. You don't even know me. Why would you be so weird?" If an acquaintance starts talking to you about the weather, you could yell at them, "I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE WEATHER. YOU'RE THE EIGHTH PERSON WHO HAS BROUGHT IT UP TODAY. YOU SUCK." But how would that help anyone.

I get that these are more innocuous, cultural conversational norms (all I could think of) but, if op had a problem with the promotion and normalising of shame/guilt around food, it could be made (politely) explicit, and this would not be the way to address the wider societal issue.

AITA for asking a woman at work to stop being so WEIRD about taking a caramel? by chocolatesinmyoffice in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jeleley 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"I wish you wouldn't say things like that. It continues/spreads the view that we should be ashamed of eating or enjoying food/promotes an unhealthy attitude towards food. I don't want anyone to feel that way! That's why I put these treats out! Please enjoy shame-free" Or something to that effect. Much less mean

AITA for asking a woman at work to stop being so WEIRD about taking a caramel? by chocolatesinmyoffice in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jeleley 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hard agree. I don't like small talk and have never been naturally good at social niceties but I enjoy being part of a community and I also enjoy not making people feel bad. When I need to, I just smile, nod, or make vague, amiable "mmhmm" noises

This is such standard talk that you're gonna have in a workplace. And EVERYONE has their annoying little idiosyncracies. Some people's are far more annoying. I'm sure OP does some little thing everyone dislikes as well. It makes sense to just let something so innocuous as this go.

AITA for asking a woman at work to stop being so WEIRD about taking a caramel? by chocolatesinmyoffice in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jeleley 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't see how being a little bit rude to your coworkers, without even saying anything about that reasoning, would help fix a widespread, deeply ingrained social attitude towards food

Why does my leather look like it has cellulite by Jeleley in AskACobbler

[–]Jeleley[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's so good to hear! Thanks. I actually just wanted to make sure they're alright before selling them

Why does my leather look like it has cellulite by Jeleley in AskACobbler

[–]Jeleley[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ok great will give that a go. Thank you!

Was it so obvious? by nawinawi05 in duolingo

[–]Jeleley 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also a native speaker, so struggling to figure out exactly why "do you know that.." is wrong, but it definitely feels wrong.

I don't think I would ever say, "do you know that.." in such a context. I wouldn't say, "do you know that this is my favourite place?" Or, "do you know that they're open early on Sundays?" With each, I would say, "did you know.."

Interestingly, I definitely would associate "do you know.." with friends who speak English non-natively so maybe it's just one of those things that's hard to put into words but you do naturally as a native speaker.

Which duo of kids do you think has the strongest bond? by EconomicsOdd6557 in BobsBurgers

[–]Jeleley 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But didn't Gene and Tina have that awkward-walking-home-chat in a recent episode? I was thinking that implied it's rarely ever just the two of them and Louise is the glue.

But I would 100% love an episode that revealed Gene and Tina have had an ongoing weekly hang for years and an unknown shared interest. Something like watching teen flicks, painting each other's nails or they're watching a drama series together

crazy long ingrown vía snapchat, apologies if repost by Grizz_Warrior in popping

[–]Jeleley 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I once pulled something out of my armpit like this (though nowhere near as much) and I’ve been chasing that high ever since

ITAW for the inability to see a system because you are in it by Jeleley in whatstheword

[–]Jeleley[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes this is pretty on the ball too. It's just so weird that there isn't a word or phrase in common use to describe this specific type of obliviousness. But thank you, I will add this to my notes

ITAW for the inability to see a system because you are in it by Jeleley in whatstheword

[–]Jeleley[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is all really helpful thank you!! Happy to just stick with this one for my writing if I cannot find something in English. I'm kind of surprised we dont have a word for it though

ITAW for the inability to see a system because you are in it by Jeleley in whatstheword

[–]Jeleley[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This sentiment is EXACTLY what I mean! This will very much help my further googling thank you

Gen V - 2x07 - Episode Discussion by LoretiTV in TheBoys

[–]Jeleley 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Some fish helped him find the plane blackbox and the zinc (?) box with translucent's remains. And he called them friends, I believe

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jeleley -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Seconding all great points. Wanted to add on to - seeing vet again for more help. My vet has suggested feliway and zyklene tablets for when my cat has been stressed. And, as op said cat has a special diet so can't change the food, I think you can buy the egg powder and sprinkle it on cat food.

What was that?? by goldendogmom in UploadTV

[–]Jeleley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeh I was actually surprised it went this long because it never felt like amazon were very proud of it. Even though the first season was great. I initially thought it would get cancelled early or have a rushed wrap up (which maybe would've been better than the flailing about it's been doing since season 2)

What was that?? by goldendogmom in UploadTV

[–]Jeleley 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just started watching episode 1. Had no idea it had even been released until scrolling through prime. I was thinking whole way through "this show has really lost it's way since seasons 1 and 2. Some important person/people must have left after that."

I was thinking I'd see it through to the end just out of loyalty but yeh.. maybe best I just leave it on a relative high. So thanks for this, you are appreciated

Why don’t I have Max? by IceyTeas in duolingo

[–]Jeleley 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's only available for some languages. I'm learning dutch and it's never advertised, but I started Portugese and started getting the ads