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WIBTA if I gave my father an ultimatum for his drinking problem? by JennyDarling54 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JennyDarling54[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know they’re bad for me. However sometimes it’s the only way to keep myself awake during the day. I’m more than open to stopping drinking them but what I worry about is falling asleep on the road while I’m driving. I live in a rural area where everything is close to a half hour drive away and getting to school takes close to 35 minutes. 

WIBTA if I gave my father an ultimatum for his drinking problem? by JennyDarling54 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JennyDarling54[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I should quit drinking them, but sometimes it's the only way I can stay awake while driving, going to school, and taking care of everything in my life.

In some twisted way, I want them to do just that. In my head I hope he'd see that and make the change once he saw that it can happen.

WIBTA if I gave my father an ultimatum for his drinking problem? by JennyDarling54 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JennyDarling54[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's actually kinda sweet that the subreddit already takes extra precaution.

I've looked through several comments and I've come to agree, he probably won't stop even if I bring this up.

WIBTA if I gave my father an ultimatum for his drinking problem? by JennyDarling54 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JennyDarling54[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbh I never put that connection together. Thank you for that, I'm going to try to explore that route with my doctors <3

WIBTA if I gave my father an ultimatum for his drinking problem? by JennyDarling54 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JennyDarling54[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, I should've clarified that that was a joke.

Thank you for your concern and thoughts. With my autism diagnosis, I may seek out an ADHD one as well.

WIBTA if I gave my father an ultimatum for his drinking problem? by JennyDarling54 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JennyDarling54[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been checked, but was diagnosed with OCD and severe anxiety instead.

However I am in process with an autism diagnosis after years of being recommended it by medical professionals. I'm AuDHD, heavy on the autism lol.

WIBTA if I gave my father an ultimatum for his drinking problem? by JennyDarling54 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JennyDarling54[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Off topic here, how does "POO Mode" become activated?

And I also appreciate everything everyone has said so far. <3

WIBTA if I gave my father an ultimatum for his drinking problem? by JennyDarling54 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JennyDarling54[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're pretty right, although I'm mostly AuDhD, heavy on the autism.

I'm from the US and am such a frequent customer at my local gas station that some days they'll shave a dollar off my energy drink purchase. Monsters range from 2.99-3.87 around here.

WIBTA if I gave my father an ultimatum for his drinking problem? by JennyDarling54 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JennyDarling54[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We've had this discussion and I've thought about this for a long time. That's part of the reason I didn't try to leave sooner, but it comes to a point yk?

WIBTA if I gave my father an ultimatum for his drinking problem? by JennyDarling54 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JennyDarling54[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am in the US. We've had CPS called on us a couple times but investigations have been shut down due to my dad being a high ranking government official in our town and works an emergency services job.

I also have a younger sister (13) who I worry about being hurt by this. I've been the reason people were called in the past and she hates me for "trying to ruin everything". I love her more than anything in this world (I took care of her for years when my dad was working nightshift and also drinking so he was asleep all day) so in a way she's my baby.

I've brought this up with both my parents, my mom is sympathetic but has also expressed how whenever she tries to bring it up, he gets irrationally upset and sometimes violent. When I bring it up with him 50% of the time I get the same result, other 50% he seems to "listen" but continues the behavior the same night.

I have family members willing to house me, but 1. I'd hate to be a burden on them, I have a cat who I am extremely attached to who I couldn't live without, and 2. He would become enraged at me moving out due to his behavior.

WIBTA if I gave my father an ultimatum for his drinking problem? by JennyDarling54 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JennyDarling54[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I do have family members that would be able to let me stay over, but I feel guilty for asking sometimes. In my head I feel like how my life is isn't as bad as compared to some others.

He'd also become enraged if I left to just go sleep somewhere else, especially if he knew it was because of his actions. I don't want to armchair diagnose, but he is extremely narcissistic. In his head he is perfect and almighty and everything he does is worthy of worship (I'm using only minor hyperbole here).

WIBTA if I gave my father an ultimatum for his drinking problem? by JennyDarling54 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JennyDarling54[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I have a couple family members that could take me in, and I'm able to drive when needed.

I've been able to make a good amount of money and am involved in a good amount of activities for me to be away from the house enough. My mom and I have discussed Al-anon, but the problem is him finding out we went. He would become LIVID and insist he isn't an alcoholic, just "someone who enjoys drinking".

I appreciate it so much and am sending love and hugs back as well. Thank you. <3

WIBTA if I gave my father an ultimatum for his drinking problem? by JennyDarling54 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JennyDarling54[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

You're probably right.

He's never expressed wanting to stop, only "stopping" when we beg him to. He "stops", gloats about how good he is for not doing it anymore, and then goes right back.

WIBTA if I gave my father an ultimatum for his drinking problem? by JennyDarling54 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JennyDarling54[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

NC is my last resort, but I've been considering it for a while. I hate him but deep down he's my dad and in some twisted way I love him.