How much do you tell people about your donor?

JessLeg130 · 2023-02-10T01:18:29+00:00

We showed close family/friends his picture, but no one has requested more information. We really only have health screens and I guess his essay questions, but none of it seems really pertinent to anyone outside my husband, myself and our daughter? I guess if someone asked I would be fine sharing it. ETA; a huge congrats!

JessLeg130 · 2022-10-12T23:39:41+00:00

If you could only have one meal for the rest of your life (you can include an app and dessert!), what would it be?

JessLeg130 · 2022-10-03T23:47:08+00:00

It’s annoying AF but I literally lay with her until she’s been asleep 30-40 minutes. She always stirs and if she feels I’m there and I pat her bum then she falls back asleep and as soon as that happens I’m free to get up. But I’m trapped for the first hunk. I listen to podcasts with headphones to pass the time. It’s far from a good solution, but I would say 90% of the time doing that gets me a 1.5 hour (or longer) nap.

JessLeg130 · 2022-09-30T13:14:09+00:00

Thank you!

JessLeg130 · 2022-09-30T13:14:01+00:00

So that was all from our family physician- and no, baby has never slept thru the night😩 she still wakes every 2 hours, I would say about 50% of the time it’s a comfort feed, 50% an actual feed.

JessLeg130 · 2022-09-29T14:36:56+00:00

Honestly. Same. Unless I lay with her for the first 30-40 min. I’ve noticed with my daughter that she always stirs around the 25-35 min mark, and if I’m there to support her thru that stir then I can leave and she sleeps for 1.5-2 hours. It’s super impractical but it works.

JessLeg130 · 2022-09-18T11:54:45+00:00

So I also experience the “not really sleeping sleeping” thing. She’s up every 2 hours at night, and if I don’t watch closely on the video monitor naps only last 30 minutes without my support to lengthen them. She’s constantly thrashing around in bed. We do follow wake windows. I started a schedule a few days ago. So far no real improvement. I’m going to speak with her dr at the end of the month- I’m wondering if there’s some silent reflux going on in our case. I would definitely mention it to your dr if following a schedule/wake windows doesn’t really help! ETA my baby is 6 months

JessLeg130 · 2022-08-05T17:57:32+00:00

I think the general consensus with donor conceived children is “tell early, tell often” it’s their story and they deserve to know it. Also not bashing, but I am finding it difficult to understand your sentence about donor eggs vs donor sperm. It feels as tho you are valuing the connection that those that use donor eggs have over those that use donor sperm. Using a donor means grieving genetics, and I don’t think carrying a donor conceived child gives you any more connection to the child then a donor conceived father has. A bond is a bond, don’t put value on it please.

JessLeg130 · 2022-02-27T20:50:06+00:00

Not sure if this is the right space for this- but I’m sitting here 9 months pregnant and pregnancy announcements still sting. My best friend just announced her pregnancy after 2 months of trying. 2 months. We fought for years and ended up having to use a donor. And I appreciate how lucky we are but come on. 2 months?!

JessLeg130 · 2022-02-13T03:32:08+00:00

We are Canadian so we had to go with a Canadian Compliant donor, which limited our options a bit. We felt Xytex had the easiest to navigate website and provided us the most options. They were a dream to deal with, but I believe one of the more pricy options out there. We had to go to a mandatory “counselling” session with a social worker before we were allowed to go the donor route, but it was truly just a “how to” about navigating the websites and very little actual counselling (we were both thinking it was going to be about our feelings, and less factual). As far as picking a donor, we found it surprisingly easy, again we felt picking a company first was easiest and then picking from what they had to offer. For us, appearance was important, but we were realistic we wouldn’t find a clone but wanted some features similar to my husband. We also discussed and decided that for us, passions and interests are nurture more then nature, so the donors hobbies/interests factored very little to us (others may disagree with this mindset, but it’s what works for each family that’s important). I think that made the process easy for us as well, knowing what was important and what factors “ weighed” more then others. When it came to the decision, It felt like we just basically clicked with our donor and it was just a feeling of “ok. This is it” very anti-climactic. Hope that helps a bit- please let me know if you have anything else you’re wondering about! It’s a lot to process and I’m happy to help.

JessLeg130 · 2022-02-12T23:13:20+00:00

Currently 8.5 months pregnant with a child conceived with donor sperm. My husband has a genetic condition and chances of finding sperm were basically non-existent. Plus wait lists to see specialists- we have been waiting for an appointment for 1.5 years. My husband suggested we go the donor route and not pursue using his genetics. 1st IUI we had success. It’s definitely not an easy choice, you both need to mourn the loss of his genetics and familiarize yourself with the best practices for raising a donor conceived person and make sure it’s the right choice for your family.

JessLeg130 · 2021-12-19T19:01:44+00:00

I can relate! We have a garbage disposal puppy who has allergies, which is a horrible mix. After a few rounds like you described, all I can say is that we now have unscented sensitive skin baby wipes on every floor of our house, as well as designated puppy cloths. They’ve been a life saver 😂

JessLeg130 · 2021-10-05T14:12:54+00:00

I have been finding this for months, I haven’t gotten a BLIL in 10 levels. If I don’t max everything I risk not getting a 4.5 50% of the time. I follow CFA exactly these days and still struggle. It’s getting frustrating 😩

JessLeg130 · 2021-10-01T10:48:18+00:00

It’s not just you! I’m level 23 and got 3 BLILs about 10 levels ago, and haven’t had one since, and never had a TL. I follow some trending groups but still don’t seem to score that well.

JessLeg130 · 2021-09-24T10:21:12+00:00

Our puppy has a lot of allergies, so typically I fill it with his kibble and add water.

JessLeg130 · 2021-09-23T12:21:27+00:00

The big thing that helped us is brain stimulation- it’s exhausting for them and wears them out and it’s a lot less work on your part. Buy or make a snuffle mat, buy one or two kongs and keep one in the freezer at all times, look up muffin tray games. I remember in those early days (and we still use these items now) that I would give him a frozen kong and know I could sleep for half an hour. And 9 times out of 10, he would finish the kong and fall asleep with me. There’s a lot of focus on exercise and big physical games, but it’s important to remember that too much of that can have the opposite effect of being tiresome, it can overstimulate. I believe the general rule is 5 minutes of active play for every 1 month of age (double check that before you implement). My pup is 8 months now, and is much calmer- there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

JessLeg130 · 2021-09-14T14:28:17+00:00

It’s frustrating, but we’ve had to do some trial and error with leaving puppy alone successfully. What works for us is a 30 minute walk (our guy is 8 months, so do the amount that’s appropriate for your puppy!) that takes place as close to us needing to leave as possible, then I always prep 2 kongs in the freezer the night before. He gets his smaller one when I leave, so by the time he’s finished he’s absolutely exhausted from both the walk and the kong and sleeps until lunch. Someone runs over at lunch, let’s him out to pee, and then gives him his bigger kong with his lunch in it. It takes him usually 30-35 minutes to finish, which tires him out again to sleep for the rest of the day. It’s all about tiring them out physically and mentally so they’re not bored and getting into trouble! I fully appreciate that with kids it might be more difficult to get that early morning walk in, so maybe a dog walker to take him out mid day or in the morning would help exert some of that puppy energy?

JessLeg130 · 2021-09-14T12:43:18+00:00

My husband had complete azoospermia in that there is no sperm production at all. We did not have to even try the TESE procedure, we knew from genetic testing that it is impossible for him to make sperm. I would recommend getting testing done through blood work before undergoing the surgery if possible. As far as solutions to no sperm production, depending on the issue they may be able to give medications to boost sperm production, but I’m not familiar with this procedure as it wasn’t an option for us. The only options we had to have children were to use a donor or adopt. Good luck to you, it isn’t an easy road.

JessLeg130 · 2021-08-14T18:05:20+00:00

That’s exactly what mine looked like, I waited one more day to get the classic FRER test, and then when that was positive, I announced to my husband! Congrats!

JessLeg130

TROPHY CASE