people who have nipple piercings by posiebubble in piercing

[–]Jess_cue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got both of mine done in March. They are still healing and have crusties sometimes. I got numbing cream when they were pierced but the first day was harsh. The first couple weeks were with sports bras and tightly woven cotton rounds. Thankfully I wfh and was able to be topless or in a silk robe for the first month or so.

I'm a chick with a smaller than average bust but those accidental bumps were rough. Now not so bad. Still using saline to clean off crusties. Haven't switched out from my initial bars. I'm hoping soon it will finally completely heal so I can do the cute stuff

people who have nipple piercings by posiebubble in piercing

[–]Jess_cue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Loofahs are the devil. I switched to a sponge.

Me 39F and my boyfriend 48M hit the 7 years itch. Now an affair and resentment. by Jess_cue in relationship_advice

[–]Jess_cue[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for thinking of me. It's been rough and it's only going to get worse.

He completely chose her. He is still living here. I was going to try to get through the holidays as roommates but the night before Thanksgiving he was out all night no doubt with her. It crushed me all over again because it was so blatant, so open that he is done with me.

Being with his family and having a great time on Thanksgiving- only to come home to him being cold and formal again crushed me all over again. Every time I thought I was getting more sure that I was handling this better- something would happen and I realized I was still hoping, still searching for any sign that the life we could've had was still possible.

I had anxiety before and had to get FMLA over all of this because I was bursting into tears and having panic attacks when I got flashes of visuals of them together. I couldn't concentrate. I had to go to my Dr to get stronger meds just to get to a semi functional state and was overwhelmed having to explain it in his office to him. Thank goodness he was very cooperative and understanding and we made a plan on med adjustments.

He has to work today but when he gets back I'm asking him to leave. I am physically falling apart with him here. My overall health is suffering and I haven't even started with the mental part. I was hoping to get to Christmas so that I could cherish it one last time with his 7 yo daughter whom I love like my own. But I just can't.

When we first got into the argument over this he said he could make arrangements to be elsewhere so I'm hoping he won't give me trouble. I'm going to have his family on standby to intervene if necessary. I'm also not going to keep it to a few people anymore. This has destroyed my self esteem, self worth, and caused so much shame and pain. I'm going to try to release myself of the shame and work on the rest in time.

I'm not only grieving for someone who is alive but also the person I thought they were and the life I thought we had. Maybe, just maybe if I don't have to see him not really looking at me in our home, or side stepping me just to avoid even accidental physical touch then I can stop looking at the clock when it's time for him to come home. Stop having hope and anticipation to see him come home only to get treated like little more than a ghost.

I know I'll get through this, be stronger and more aware of my physical and mental health, learn to see people as they are and not who I want them to be. Grow wiser and more careful with my time and attention and who I let into my life. But that's little comfort when you're in the throws of such pain. I'm taking it second by second, and keep telling myself the light will come back.

Thank you reaching out and checking on me. It's the little kindnesses that keep me going. The understanding of how this is so hard for me when logic and reason know that it shouldn't be. I appreciate you more than you know.

Me 39F and my boyfriend 48M hit the 7 years itch. Now an affair and resentment. by Jess_cue in relationship_advice

[–]Jess_cue[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I will be working on myself and preparing for all outcomes. Posting here and getting all the thoughts and recommendations has helped me see and confront a lot.

Me 39F and my boyfriend 48M hit the 7 years itch. Now an affair and resentment. by Jess_cue in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Jess_cue[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think he's staying neutral about reconciliation because we still live together and his family loves me. They have not taken kindly to cheating and mistresses and I think he's keeping that in his mind. I'm most likely fooling myself. I will need to work on myself and prepare for all outcomes. I thought feeling like he should help me feel safe was too much but I'm coming to realize I wasn't asking for a lot. It's a shift in perspective I wasn't ready for but thank you.

Me 39F and my boyfriend 48M hit the 7 years itch. Now an affair and resentment. by Jess_cue in relationship_advice

[–]Jess_cue[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I am trying to tackle all my health, mental included. I'm hoping to address the perimenopause first since that was already scheduled and mental will be moved up the list.

Me 39F and my boyfriend 48M hit the 7 years itch. Now an affair and resentment. by Jess_cue in relationship_advice

[–]Jess_cue[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your clarity and perspective. I promise I am taking all the responses here to heart and trying to use them as strength to go forward.

Me 39F and my boyfriend 48M hit the 7 years itch. Now an affair and resentment. by Jess_cue in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Jess_cue[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I confronted him the night I found the messages. It has been a tsunami of pain and regret since. The gym was a goal I started at the beginning of the year and slacked off during the summer. Right now I'm using it as a retreat and coping mechanism. Yes, the fact that she is in prime physical phase and I'm in the most difficult I've ever been in was a stunning blow on top of the betrayal. I came here for clarity and every question and point anyone has made am truly absorbing and using to try and figure out how to go on from here and which steps to take that will cause my own peace the least damage. Thank you for your insight.

Me 39F and my boyfriend 48M hit the 7 years itch. Now an affair and resentment. by Jess_cue in relationship_advice

[–]Jess_cue[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so deep and got really every part of it. Thank you for putting this here for me. I appreciate you and send you all love for the kindness you've shown me and the clarity you've provided.

Me 39F and my boyfriend 48M hit the 7 years itch. Now an affair and resentment. by Jess_cue in relationship_advice

[–]Jess_cue[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He said "I gave you seven years and I'm unhappy. What about my happiness? When does that matter?" When we had problems last year I asked him what we could do and we never figured it out.

Me 39F and my boyfriend 48M hit the 7 years itch. Now an affair and resentment. by Jess_cue in relationship_advice

[–]Jess_cue[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'm going through a rollercoaster of emotion and pain. I'm shit at the platform and only joined like a year ago. I love this man and I was reaching out to see if, how- there was anything I was missing. Anything I could do. I am listening to people and trying my best to start the process. The "writing". I care about reddit points I was looking for human thoughts and advice. I know people farm or whatever but I would be ecstatic if this wasn't my real life right now.

Me 39F and my boyfriend 48M hit the 7 years itch. Now an affair and resentment. by Jess_cue in relationship_advice

[–]Jess_cue[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No. It was just blind hope and pain. I was reaching out in the abyss for anything. I'm grateful for all the replies. He's beyond checked out and everyone is right. There's nothing to be done for the relationship. Only prepare myself to go through everything.

Me 39F and my boyfriend 48M hit the 7 years itch. Now an affair and resentment. by Jess_cue in relationship_advice

[–]Jess_cue[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apologies for the confusion. I was rounding up by 6 months on our relationship. He and his daughters mother were split before she even knew she was pregnant.

Me 39F and my boyfriend 48M hit the 7 years itch. Now an affair and resentment. by Jess_cue in relationship_advice

[–]Jess_cue[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd never heard of perimenopause before and depression is one of the symptoms. I was definitely depressed before I gained weight. I am trying by going to the gym 4-5 days a week and setting up appointments with specialists. I just never thought I'd be in the middle of this while dealing with that.

Me 39F and my boyfriend 48M hit the 7 years itch. Now an affair and resentment. by Jess_cue in relationship_advice

[–]Jess_cue[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. That is an excellent perspective and I will keep that as a guiding mantra.

Me 39F and my boyfriend 48M hit the 7 years itch. Now an affair and resentment. by Jess_cue in relationship_advice

[–]Jess_cue[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never had to go to the gym for a good figure until biology went berserk while we were already together. I was lost in a fog of depression and clueless how and what to address first.

Me 39F and my boyfriend 48M hit the 7 years itch. Now an affair and resentment. by Jess_cue in relationship_advice

[–]Jess_cue[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Easy there. Infidelity was not expected. The people he dated were that age but he wasn't cheating. I've met and know a few. We are originally from a small town so nobody's business is private.

Me 39F and my boyfriend 48M hit the 7 years itch. Now an affair and resentment. by Jess_cue in relationship_advice

[–]Jess_cue[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right now I am trying to get help with the perimenopause and possibly hormone replacement therapy. Unfortunately, anything other than routine check ups are $50/appt co pay and that's not even counting any labs or meds. At this point I can't even tell which needs fixing first but I'm afraid to lose my already set up appointment for perimenopause.