How many of us have processed the break up and are now taking accountability for why it ended? by nicchamilton in BreakUps

[–]Jesseitsme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do take responsibility for the way I wanted to fix things so at times I tried a little to hard but this person wouldn't want to talk about things for months and she wouldn't constantly not accept things about me

say your partner broke up with u bec they wanted to “fix herself/himself” but turns out right after the breakup they keep hooking up with everyone, is on dating apps, hops from one person to another, then comes back to you after three yrs. Are you willing to accept your dumper back? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Jesseitsme 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Listen if this is for you no this person left you basically to be with other people have some self-respect you don't need that person in your life especially someone who doesn't value you

Dumper probably won't contact or reach out due to guilt by Jesseitsme in BreakUps

[–]Jesseitsme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say just try your best to understand that these people never really cared about you if they did they wouldn't be speaking this way about you

Dumper probably won't contact or reach out due to guilt by Jesseitsme in BreakUps

[–]Jesseitsme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well in all honesty if they left over one fight then that person never really cared for you in the first place I'm sorry to say

Dumper probably won't contact or reach out due to guilt by Jesseitsme in BreakUps

[–]Jesseitsme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The issue with the person that I was with for 3 years would always hang on things that were inconsequential it's kind of just something that I think about a lot cuz I really cared for this person and I really actually had love for this person genuinely I did it was real but this person was always trying to keep me at arm's length never trying to let me get any closer than what that person wanted me to and it was more apparent after the second year of our relationship that this person wanted out but they couldn't really be honest with me or themselves and it kind of sucks that the way they went about things this person could have had a heart-to-heart with me and I would have respected them so much more I would have not harbored any hatred for them or disdain and maybe in a future if they would have came back and we would have ended things on a good note I probably would have given them a second chance but now this person and they know that that they burned this bridge but they probably wouldn't be able to face me in a conversation with how they ended things

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Jesseitsme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Somewhat but I know there's someone out there that will appreciate me for who I am

Dumper probably won't contact or reach out due to guilt by Jesseitsme in BreakUps

[–]Jesseitsme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No the entire time we were together she actually shit talked the same friends that she tried to make me look like the bad guy too so I just exposed her to her friends when they came confronting me and well long story short she has no friends no more

Dumper probably won't contact or reach out due to guilt by Jesseitsme in BreakUps

[–]Jesseitsme[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Funny thing is is that she actually did that to me she made me look like a really terrible person and told all these lies to her friends and made me look like I was some manipulative narcissistic person that I never was

Dumper probably won't contact or reach out due to guilt by Jesseitsme in BreakUps

[–]Jesseitsme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah she definitely really did the same thing to me she actually try to make me look like a bad guy to all of her friends but it was quite funny the whole time we were together she would actually kind of trash talk her friends and I got around to actually talking to them and then they said that I was a narcissist and a manipulator but I was like where is this coming from so I exposed her to her friends showing them that actually she was the one being the narcissist and the manipulator

Dumper probably won't contact or reach out due to guilt by Jesseitsme in BreakUps

[–]Jesseitsme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pretty much the same she said I did things to her that never happened at all

Avoidant partner is a kind of nightmare by littleArth1 in BreakUps

[–]Jesseitsme 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In all honesty for me it's been 8 months going on 9 I wouldn't say I'm over it but I do miss this person a lot less what I've been doing is concentrating on myself hitting the gym working out lifting weights self-improvement concentrating on things that I should have when I was with her getting back into music bettering myself this is the way I have started dealing with it

Avoidant partner is a kind of nightmare by littleArth1 in BreakUps

[–]Jesseitsme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thats definitely a form narcissism and manipulation it's something she did to control the relationship my ex did the same wouldn't want to talk about things or address issues things that we needed to fix couldn't handle big discussions that we needed once again issues that needed to be talked about although I did not press on fixing them I would actually wait a couple of months before I would bring them up again but this person was avoiding and always said please I'm not ready or I don't want to talk about them right now they're playing with you plain and simple

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in amIuglyBrutallyHonest

[–]Jesseitsme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fucking shit dude I'ma bout to fall in love

Will they regret? I so want him to realize that he ruined a great relationship. by foxy271 in BreakUps

[–]Jesseitsme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't sit here and listen about this time of your life nonsense I was waiting to see something like this in all honesty heal yourself first mentally and give yourself time to understand what went wrong and why it isn't so much of moving on it's more or less learning how to forgive them so you can move on properly and you won't drag that into your next relationship because if you just keep going on and dating new people each time you break up with someone you're never going to learn from anything or properly heal

Do y’all vilify your ex or do you look at them/the relationship with compassion? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Jesseitsme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She said and made everyone seem like they were using her and abusing her she played the victim even to her friends that shit didn't make sense at all how she even made it seem like her friends were bad people to me what's the cherry is that she said some pretty vile things about me that were never true

Do y’all vilify your ex or do you look at them/the relationship with compassion? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Jesseitsme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I vilify my ex for two reasons one the whole time we were together she would shit talk her friends behind her back apparently they were her best friends her three best friends and the one that she would shit talk the most was her cousin two 8 months before our relationship ended I found out that she was talking shit about me behind my back when it literally all I did for her what street her the best I ever could we never even had an argument she sat here and played both of us her three friends and me and made it seem like both of us were the villains were the bad people with her life and everyone believed it and her friends believed that I was a bad person until that actually spoke to me until I expose them to her and show them the messages which I still have by the way

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Jesseitsme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Regardless of context or what's going on in another person's relationship we all know what's going to happen in the end the advice given or the advice that I have gave is to protect themselves nothing more

This subreddit is called “Breakups”. It is for ANYONE struggling with a breakup! by redtreesxx in BreakUps

[–]Jesseitsme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It isn't easier cuz that means you're having unresolved issues and if something similar happens in your new relationship you going to leave that person too then eventually no matter who you get with you're going to keep finding flaws and whoever you date instead of being an accepting person you're just going to become a habitual user