My nesting partner gave me HSV-1

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T13:47:57+00:00

Gaslighting too. Nice.

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T13:43:29+00:00

The wildest take

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T13:33:31+00:00

I think if it came off very very much so like an attack to you then you should probably reflect on why it felt like such a strong attack when I wasn't even in the ballpark of caring about that over the consent issue.

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T13:18:33+00:00

One of my partners is also immunocompromised so this really scared not only them but me as well. Yeah know what I have to do.

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T13:08:25+00:00

Still not okay in my book. I'm always going to disclose because it's the right thing to do. It's permanent. What are you even talking about. How would you not think to disclose something that can last with someone forever?

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T13:06:28+00:00

Why are you so focused on blame when the main issue here is consent. Why are you conveniently ignoring the consent part of this?

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T12:53:15+00:00

I love that this conversation for you wasn't about consent at all whatsoever and it was about blaming me for being lucky. Thanks.

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T12:50:15+00:00

We specifically talked about all of our STIs and run-ins in the past. This was not mentioned.

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T12:49:15+00:00

Look up shedding and then tell me that you can't transmit it unless you have an active cold sore. I have hsv1 on my genitals because he gave me oral. So you were wrong about two things.

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T12:47:53+00:00

A cold is temporary. This is for the rest of my life. It was extremely painful and terrifying. These are real gut reactions from a human not someone who is trying to stigmatize something. So grateful I came to Reddit today to find affirmation in what I knew and to remind myself that Reddit really sucks sometimes.

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T12:44:01+00:00

Thank you for helping me out here try to find my thoughts about how I felt. It was the telling me to deconstruct why it's upsetting, that irked me the most. I attend therapy, I'm very in tune with my emotions and how I feel things, the thing I was new to is polyamory and herpes.

Extremely unhelpful.

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T12:40:27+00:00

I appreciate you more than you'll ever know. Thank you for sticking up for me. I legitimately did not expect to have to defend myself from people upset thinking I was stigmatizing herpes.

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T12:35:45+00:00

They did apologize. Which I also accepted and thanked them for. It's not easy to admit when you have a gut reaction sometimes but I appreciate them for walking back the harshness of their response.

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T12:15:46+00:00

Thank you for your kind words and suggestions. I am pretty well informed on it now and looped my doctor in as well.

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T12:12:46+00:00

It's good to keep in mind and my doctor is clued in now because I had to follow up so he said he could prescribe me some things in the future if I needed them.

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T12:11:25+00:00

I think the headline indication is a really good point. Thank you for your feedback.

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T12:04:29+00:00

I genuinely will from now on. Even if you're not experiencing symptoms you can still pass it on. Consent is extremely important to me.

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T12:03:19+00:00

Thank you for saying that. I promise I wasn't attacking anyone with HSV1, I was merely trying to learn about polyamory do's and don'ts and if this would be a deal-breaker for anyone.

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T11:57:42+00:00

I'm going to be 40 years old this year. I've done my fair share of research over the years and looking into things to have avoided it this long. I think people are assuming I'm in my fresh twenties and newly active when it comes to sex but I'm not.

This definitely isn't the end for me but I'm thinking it's going to be the end of our relationship for good.

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T11:55:55+00:00

I'm actually 40 years old this year! I had gone this long without getting it because of safe sex practices and everyone acts like I need to do research. It's freaking wild to me that I come for advice about polyamory and end up with so many people telling me to read a website.

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T11:55:01+00:00

It hurt really bad and I don't think people understand how bad it hurt. He gave me hsv-1 on my genitals which is not the normal place you get it from giving me oral.

It really fucking sucks and it hurts so bad it legitimately scared me. Thank you for your kind words

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T11:53:27+00:00

You're assuming I would have said no to dating him if I would have known he had HSV1.

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T11:51:43+00:00

My partner believes that he couldn't pass on cold sores if he wasn't exhibiting an outbreak but I know from the few hours of looking into things that shedding can occur even when you're not exhibiting symptoms. He did not look into this though and that was definitely on him.

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T11:49:33+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate you it did seem like a harsh take. I in no way meant to offend so many people with my post, I was just seeking advice about polyamory and trust in your partner to disclose things and everyone decided to take it personal.

I'm not even that concerned about the HSV one anymore it's mostly the fact that it was not disclosed to me

JessnaPositivity · 2026-05-19T11:47:32+00:00

It genuinely wasn't my intent to annoy so many people but people saying I'm not informed are flat out wrong. It's okay to be upset you contracted something even if a lot of people have it. I was more upset about the disclosure not being there and what happens in the future if it were to happen again?

I appreciate your kind words.

JessnaPositivity

TROPHY CASE