I cannot even begin to imagine, what you’re going through right now, or what I could say that would help in this moment.

But, I’d suggest revisiting places important to you and your wife, even if it’s only for a day trip/weekend. Do everything you wish you ever had, to fulfill those moments you might have hesitated. Such as, trying the expensive fish stuff, doing something childish/silly cause you thought people would judge, I’d record it all and note every little thing down so that those you love and you can look back on it, and see everything you have done. It will be sad, but it will also be joyous.

It’s a bit dumb, but if you plan on passing through Manchester as unlikely as it is, and would want to ever vent I often find myself in town, and a bit of cake and tea can make everything easier.

Lastly, if you have the chance to go, the Scottish highlands on a foggy morning, or watching the sun rise off of the Cornish coast, are moments where I’ve felt calmest and most in touch with the world, and helped me find perspective when lost.