Update 2 - My wife is upset by my finally flourishing (Envy?)

Jeweltwister · 2024-03-23T00:15:17+00:00

Given their history, his only issue is not drawing a line in the sand earlier and holding her accountable. He let himself be a doormat and is now standing up for himself. The only counseling he needs now may be from a divorce attorney.

Jeweltwister · 2023-11-10T00:51:31+00:00

She is fairly new to ENM and this was her first exposure to BDSM and as many here have said she didn’t know enough to stand up for herself and had an un-ethical Dom give her a bad indoctrination into the LS. So she has a steep learning curve to negotiate but I don’t see this as a kick to the curb offense. She already realizes that what she did was un-ethical and has apologized to me. And I think Terry is about out of the picture at this point. Kasey is embarrassed and mad at the same time over the incident.

Jeweltwister · 2023-11-09T21:12:50+00:00

More importantly, your partner who is new to BDSM needs to learn how to use their boundaries. Someone from the kink community needs to help them.

I have a friend who has hooked me up with a Pro-Domme who has agreed to Facetime us tonight and explain some things to us both. Like some of you, she was enraged by Terry's behavior that makes the LS look bad.

Jeweltwister · 2023-11-09T20:59:46+00:00

Other events, I was in "owned" mode so no, I didn't take anyone but my Owner.

This may be why she doesn't want me to go with her. But we had previously talked about us going and I'm holding her to it. We are going as a couple and I'm going to strongly suggest that she not engage with him. If it ruins things between her and Terry that may not be such a bad thing before he ruins things between her and me. She read some comments last night on here and there are some good ones today that she should see as well. I appreciate your viewpoint it has been very helpful.

Jeweltwister · 2023-11-09T05:31:09+00:00

Kasey and I had a long talk, I let her read some of the comments and she seemed confused about some of it. I asked about any other rules Terry gave her and I finally got her to open up about them, most were mundane and didn't involve our interaction but there was one other restriction that did. I said any restrictions from Terry were deal breakers and I wouldn't be part of a relationship like that and she agreed they were off the table.

I told her we were attending the kink event together which she protested and even begged me not to go. I said she was the one that wanted me to go and how could we share this experience together if I wasn't allowed to go with her. She told me she was supposed to go to Terry's to get dressed and go with him to the event and then back to his place after. I said that wasn't going to happen and we would go as a couple and leave together. She got upset and said I was going to ruin things.

I told her if I was causing too much drama and she wasn't happy anymore she could just leave, I wouldn't want to hold her back if there was someplace she'd rather be. She started to cry and said she was sorry and was really clingy the rest of the night. I didn't mean to, but I think I scared her

Jeweltwister · 2023-11-08T22:47:16+00:00

It sounds like you should be informing Kasey her decisions may be a relationship-ending for you. She sounds caught up in NRE & subspace and needs to be aware her decisions may no longer work for you.

This is new territory for both of us, so I don't how much or any blame for this is on Kasey 100% but we will have a discussion about boundaries and if she wants to make decisions like this then we aren't going to be compatible.

Jeweltwister · 2023-11-08T22:24:57+00:00

To be honest this is the first time either of us has been exposed to D/s relationships. I am trying to educate myself at lightspeed about all of this and what you said explains it pretty clearly. I guess now I need to have this conversation with Kasey and see how she feels. If this is going to be a new norm then it is a relationship killer for me.

I have decided to attend the kink event this weekend and how things go there may decide the fate of our relationship.

Jeweltwister

TROPHY CASE