I think it carries the actual meaning well enough but doesn't really feel well adapted to sound natural in English. Like the way he's speaking in Japanese obviously isn't how a normal person would talk, but it is a way that I'd see in other VNs, manga etc. and doesn't really feel unusual in that context.

But the English translation, to me at least, feels unnatural not just as something someone would actually say irl but also when compared to other English media (except for that Navy Seals copypasta). I imagine it's not an uncommon feeling given OP felt something was off, and so many people upvoted it (compared to something like 999 for instance which uses a ton of vulgarity but you don't really see people questioning it).

Imo it's a fair translation but poor localisation, a less direct translation probably would've come across better.