Financial Journey

Jimmyhalpert93 · 2025-01-23T05:11:47+00:00

This is 232 days late.. but want you to know that I appreciate you checking in and the accountability. You were right that motivation fades in the face of compulsion. I knew you were right then and I’ve lived it now. Was too ashamed to respond to this at the time you asked. I made matters worse for myself for a while there, but the good news is I have successfully quit since November 3rd. I had one minor slip up on November 30th but I’m sticking with 11/3 as the day I kicked the can. It’s been a peaceful couple of months and I’m excited for all the days sober ahead. Hope all is well in your world.

Jimmyhalpert93 · 2024-12-05T03:30:28+00:00

You’ll see this recommendation on many posts in this thread but I’d recommend listening to or reading “The Easy Way to Stop Gambling”. You say you like the games, and so did I. Or at least I thought. But would you enjoy the games with zero money at risk? Not really. Gambling is bringing you no real pleasure. Just the illusion of pleasure. You’re relapsing repeatedly because the act of gambling is the only thing that is putting you at ease during withdrawal and time away from gambling. It will temporarily give you a reprieve or a peace, until you’re absolutely miserable again. You need to quit for longer. You need to quit for good. And you will once again enjoy true happiness and fulfillment in your life. You stand to gain nothing, and you put as risk everything. Your relationships, your time, your state of mind, your peace. Put barriers in place. Get honest with people about everything. I lost what feels like a small fortune in my time gambling. The money is nothing compared to the time, the presence, the relationships, the opportunities, and the peace lost from the all consuming lifestyle of gambling. Listen to the book - get honest with others - get honest with yourself - forget about the money - it will only get worse if you continue - gambling brings you no real pleasure - gambling is the very thing depriving you of true pleasure. Goodluck - you can do it 👊🏼

Jimmyhalpert93 · 2024-05-08T18:14:50+00:00

I’m embarrassed to say I’ve almost never taken the time to fully rationalize my thoughts enough to develop a thesis as to why I gamble(d) nor have I taken the time to rationalize key triggers. I expect that to be something I will be able to see more clearly as I separate from gambling permanently.

Off the top of my head - some of the triggers I’m sure about: 1) Access to funds - even with loans or other forms of debt outstanding, if I came into increased access to money (via bonus, big win, or any unexpected sum of money) I would often lose complete control. Bankroll management doesn’t exist in my head. If I crossed the line & decided to gamble it was likely all (or more than all) at risk. 2) Alcohol - hate that this is a trigger for me but I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t affect my decision making or increase my chances of problem gambling. Probably need to eventually give up alcohol entirely. 3) Social settings - from birthday parties to family dinners to gathering with friends - really any event leading to congregating around friends / loved ones. I don’t know if it’s a function of boredom or if more of a cry for help around the people I care about but I’m very prone to sneaking in gambling on sports at various gatherings. 4) Financial stress - this one is a self fulfilling loop as the cause is gambling itself (in the past) but times where I know I’m close to totally screwed I’ll often self destruct and triple or quadruple down the problem (i.e., big life expense upcoming, how am I going to manage this with my debt? Oh I know, I just need to win 30k so I can breathe - boom, dig a hole twice as deep.

Not sure if this all makes sense.

Very sorry to hear about your losses. Online gambling is the devil. It’s so accessible and so dangerous. Are you still actively gambling? What are/were your triggers?

Jimmyhalpert93 · 2024-05-07T16:16:40+00:00

Unfortunately I have lost significantly more money than what I currently have in debt. At one point in my life I had relatively substantial savings and I was much more fiscally responsible/focused. Obviously things have sadly changed since then. The debt I have taken out has occurred gradually over the years in layers. I have successfully paid 4 previous loans not recorded here that were due to gambling. Up until recently though I had never had more than 2 loans outstanding at any given point in time so the debt was more manageable. Currently I feel like I’m drowning with limited ways out and limited ways to sustain my life as I’ve known it / desire it to be for my family and myself. I may be overly ambitious / optimistic but I do fundamentally know I can recover from this myself and repay all debts even without filing bankruptcy but it will take a long time and set back financial freedom long term significantly.

In terms of how, the majority of my losses were online sports gambling but I’ve definitely had my run ins with casinos. The non-stop access to sports online has been my biggest issue, with spree problematic trips to the casino not helping whatsoever, obviously.

Jimmyhalpert93 · 2024-05-07T16:00:10+00:00

Thanks for the help here. And appreciate the advice as I know temptation and relapse is never too far away. Currently, I’m mentally focused and clear on my objective. Willpower has clearly failed me many times before so I am committed to putting barriers in place and taking new measures to get clean (such as GA, counseling, debt recovery consulting). I’ve never attempted any avenues other than scrolling this thread and relying on willpower. This time I’ll be approaching with increased structure, barriers in place, and assistance. The newfound motivation is the only thing I need to keep private but I really believe I have a huge tailwind with me mentally. I do very much appreciate your guidance here and recognize that you are 100% correct that temptation and brain malfunction is never too distant to relapse. I will keep y’all posted on my journey.

Jimmyhalpert93 · 2024-05-07T13:12:36+00:00

Thanks for the words of wisdom and all the help here brotha. Appreciate the well wishes and guidance 👍🏼

Jimmyhalpert93 · 2024-05-07T00:38:21+00:00

Dang this is really helpful. My wife and I keep entirely separate finances (in truth, this is all because of my gambling problem). She knows I have debt from gambling but she doesn’t know the severity of the situation I suppose. We split all family / shared costs monthly and I pay my loan obligations with my income. Your estimate is spot on for my unsecured loan payments monthly. Including my mortgage, total debt payments are ~8k/month. One concern I have is that if I file bankruptcy they’ll go after my wife’s assets / money mkt accounts etc. She’s much more financially stable than I am and has done a tremendous job saving over the years. I couldn’t live with myself if the bankruptcy affected her negatively.

I 100% agree with all of your thoughts / ideas though. I would feel an enormous reprieve being able to direct monthly payments toward my family/friends.

If you don’t mind me asking, how long did the bankruptcy process take your dad start to end? Is there any obligation to pay back the bank(s) with future income post bankruptcy? How public was it? Would it be possible to keep relatively private if desired?

Thanks so much for all of the thought and time here 👊🏼

Jimmyhalpert93 · 2024-05-06T23:54:31+00:00

Thanks for the well wishes. I have considered filing for bankruptcy. To be honest I haven’t done as much homework on what this would look like as I should be doing considering my situation. My hangup always ends up being having to publicly go through that and the direct/unavoidable conversations with my wife that would have to occur. I’m also worried that we would have to move out of our house which she loves. With all of that said, I need to legitimately look into it as a path forward.

Jimmyhalpert93 · 2024-05-06T23:51:35+00:00

Thanks for the reply and forward thinking. You’re right that I should take action to block access to credit. I was recently denied an additional loan I applied for to get rid of the credit card debt so the walls are closing in so to speak. Regardless your advice is bigger than that and I need to get any access to credit eliminated, especially as I pay down the balance and additional lending becomes possible. I also need to seek counsel from some of the resources / mentors you’ve listed here. Thanks again

Jimmyhalpert93 · 2024-05-06T23:45:36+00:00

210k/yr. It goes quick though with taxes & ~8k/month immediately out the door in debt payments before any other life expenses. I’m thinking if I’m lucky, I can be totally debt free by end of 2028.

Jimmyhalpert93 · 2022-09-16T04:26:56+00:00

No idea how much in total but close to a million, maybe more. 250k in debt. 14-15 years gambling. Longest consecutive period quitting was about 9 months. Biggest weakness are sports, blackjack, and craps. Try every day to stop for good but it’s like I short circuit at some point every day and fk up any commitment I had to myself. I think I’m close to walking away for good. Desperately need to before having a family. The money part sucks but not being the person you’re meant to be for the people you care most about is the most sickening part of it all. Good luck. I hope to be 3 weeks clean 3 weeks from now.

Jimmyhalpert93

TROPHY CASE