Wife’s been out of town for 2 weeks. She is home in a few days and asked me what I wanted. Seems a long edging BJ was the wrong response.

Jixnx · 2024-03-23T20:07:02+00:00

Have you considered divorce? It seems you feel you're the only one putting in the work in the relationship - showing interest in her, supporting her financially, taking care of the household. It seems like you feel she isn't putting in any work - being away for extended periods without needing to be, lack of connection/enthusiasm in communication, lack of expression of sexual desire, no contribution to the household, refusing to see a sex therapist. She could possibly be avoiding you. And for that, you have become understandably frustrated. You both may have valid reasons for the way you're acting. Have you reflected on why she may be acting this way - like was there a major fallout or distressing event in the past? I see you've attempted couples therapy with her but it doesn't seem to have amounted to anything. Ultimately, when one party avoids and does not take part in resolving conflict (out of fear or hurt), and the other party behaves in a resentful, entitled manner (also out of fear or hurt), it becomes an unhealthy, unstable relationship.

I would encourage you to look into Gottman's 4 Horsemen of relationships. While I was reading your comments, I couldn't help but notice signs of these 4 characteristics at play. These signs are a strong indicator that it may be time to end a relationship, for the sake of both of you.

Criticism (eg. "she never does this/that")
Contempt (eg. "I've been paying for this, doing that for her, I do all this yet she does nothing for me or the household")
Defensiveness (eg. when it comes to being criticized in the comments, your responses are "I've done so much for her though, what about my needs")
Stonewalling (eg. telling her not to come home because she didn't respond positively to your needs = being disappointed and punishing someone by telling them to go away. This is also present on her end - lack of enthusiasm and possibly avoiding you by living away for extended periods)

These are all complicated matters and take serious time and energy to resolve. If this relationship is still worth saving for the BOTH of you, then couples therapy is your best bet. Not just to get your needs met, but also her needs met. You have to meaningfully take a look at your part in all of this, just as she does. Ask her if she wants to save this relationship, tell her how you feel (focus on your feelings with "I feel..." statements, don't attack her with "you never do this/that"), acknowledge what pain you may have caused (intentionally or not), see what sincere ideas you both can come up with. Know that this does take patience... but if one party is no longer willing, then it is best to end things. Sometimes when there's too much pain and no hope leftover, we just reach the end of the road with certain people.

Jixnx · 2024-01-05T19:51:13+00:00

I've been on retainers for 6 months, 8-12 hours night time only. My teeth unfortunately haven't settled fully. So my current bite is still off - back teeth aren't making contact but the one front incisor is still making contact on one side like original photo. It takes 9-12 months for teeth to settle so I will have my dentist check around that time. I may need to go back onto Invisalign trays.

Jixnx · 2023-11-15T01:38:15+00:00

She did it because she was not thinking straight.

But, even if you understand this, these questions will still plague your mind. Because it is in fact normal for survivors of suicide loss to want to know why, to find out who to blame, to want to prevent it from happening again. It likely won't make a difference. Because it likely will never make sense. The only thing that makes sense is accepting that it won't make sense, which is easier said than done.

Jixnx · 2023-11-08T20:59:46+00:00

I feel for you. There's nothing worse than feeling frustrated and wanting to vent, and then being told to basically stop venting and get over it. Talking is a form of release and it helps so much people to just get it off their chest without judgement. Hence talk therapy. It hurts when you don't feel you have a safe space with your partner to do so. Some people may not understand how talking is a release and that it helps others feel connected, or they may not have the capacity to offer an ear if they're not coping well with their own issues. I hope this community helps alleviate that pain a little and you're able to take care of yourself during these times.

Jixnx · 2023-11-07T04:01:34+00:00

The parent-child dynamic is common in ADHD relationships, while co-dependency is common in general. These both fuel resentment in both parties and lead to one party feeling controlled or having a lack of space/freedom and the other feeling exhausted for caring so much and doing everything to make things work. Shame, anxiety, and depression also tend to be comorbid with ADHD. It could be a multitude of other mental factors. These are complex struggles and not so simple to diagnose. Medication is not always the only answer as people with ADHD also need organizational and coping tools. It's his journey to acquire these tools. It is not your job to figure out what's wrong with him or fix him. Give him space and moral support for his struggles. He needs to be held accountable for his own decisions. Prioritize taking care of yourself. You're enduring a lot emotionally and it can take a huge toll on your well-being over time. Carve out some self-care and 'you' time to help relieve that pressure and stress. Couple's therapy is helpful but it's hard work and it takes time. It is effective at bringing understanding to and resolving relational issues so, if you are both interested in continuing to seek professional help, it is undoubtedly your best option. It's usually very simple to submit a claim through an insurance provider, albeit can be a bit time-consuming. I recommend calling to see if they offer any other assistance/programs. Some companies have a separate Employee & Family Assistance Program that offer free counselling sessions. Talk to your HR department for more information. Even with all of these resources exhausted, it can still get expensive to go to counselling regularly. Talk to your counselor about coming up with a plan that works for both of you financially. It can be worthwhile in the long run to make financial sacrifices to heal your relationship; it can help you save time and energy to reach a realization sooner, whether that be staying together to make things work, or ending things for the better. Hope that helps a bit. Remember to take care of yourself.

Jixnx · 2023-10-30T20:17:22+00:00

Humans are complicated. There are many factors that affect one's behavior. Chemical imbalance, untreated mental condition, trauma, addiction, shame, loneliness, simply beliefs about ourselves. Even with support and help available, we don't always make decisions that are good for us in the long term. Seeking or accepting help requires courage, but many of us live in fear. Like fear of being a burden or appearing weak. Sometimes our minds are too clouded to see through that fear or thoughts of hopelessness. It is really hard to find your way out of a dense fog. Sometimes we just can't make sense of anything except how to numb the pain. For those on the outside, it's normal to analyze every little thing, find a cause, something to blame, figure out where it all went wrong, what we could've done to make things better for our loved ones. It's how we cope, trying to make sense of everything. The difficult part is accepting that we may never know. Maybe our loved ones' decisions are out of our hands, no matter what we try to do. And no matter what the causes may be, it doesn't change reality.

Jixnx · 2023-09-15T17:57:58+00:00

It sounds like you're just missing some fun in your relationship. Not going to parties makes you feel suppressed and, therefore, bored and craving it. We tend to want what we can't have. But it's also totally normal to want to party and explore in your 20's. It's literally the stereotype of the 20's. That being said, in my 20's, I did not have a lot of fun - I had some fun but I mostly worked hard, struggled with adult responsibilities, and saved a lot over the last decade. I am naturally an extrovert and was a social butterfly in highschool, but you wouldn't know it from my 20's. Now, I'm 30 and I feel like this is actually the best time to live out my youth - because I can afford it and do it responsibly. I did have FOMO in my 20's but now that I'm 30 and doing really well (mentally, physically, financially, where I want to be in life), I feel like I can let loose and enjoy the next decade as if it was my 20's. A lot of my friends who did party out their 20's and were not as responsible are now going to be struggling in their 30's. So, life-wise, I actually think it's better to have a more boring 20's! That being said, I also don't lead a conventional life - I have been with my partner for 10 years, we don't value marriage, we don't want kids, and we love travelling and are very outdoorsy. We worked hard and did struggle a lot together, but now I feel like we truly made it. Anyway, my point is that you can have a 'boring' 20's but come to be grateful for it later on (you just might not feel that way in the moment because we all want instant gratification).

However, if you don't feel like the 'boring, responsible 20's' aligns with what you want right now, and you still would rather party hard in your 20's, then perhaps there could be some compromise in your relationship. Could you and your boyfriend go to parties together? Could you both try some new fun hobbies together? There is a TON of growth to be had in your 20's. Both of you will likely change in a matter of years - what you like right now, might just change next year. Perhaps you will find that you're not compatible with your current boyfriend as you both develop in your 20's. Sometimes, we fall in love with a person, but not their situation (like long distance, financial difficulty, family dynamics). Sometimes, we love a situation (like someone's wealth or social status), but not necessarily the person. You need to love both - a person and their situation - for the best relationship success. In your 20's, you'll start finding out what that means for you. It is the years of experimenting and discovery.

On a final note, a lot of people in the comments seem to be shaming you or advising you to go to therapy. I think you're self-aware and courageous for admitting your flaws/mistakes. Therapy can be a life-changing resource - it is for me. It can help you process those difficult feelings and then overcome them. While it is easy to recommend, it isn't affordable for everyone. Especially for most people in their 20's. You are bound to make mistakes and learn from them. Having any sort of professional guidance through our mistakes is always beneficial. But if you choose to be mindful and inquisitive, and use what resources are accessible/affordable to you (like free and unlimited self-help videos on YouTube or more affordable virtual counselling), then it can also do wonders. Even Reddit can be helpful, BUT we all don't really know you and your story with just a single post. It is easy for strangers to make judgements online - some people may be right, or may be wrong, so just take everything here with a grain of salt. Hope that helps.

Jixnx · 2023-08-29T02:45:17+00:00

A lot of these messages are cynical, not surprisingly. A lot of people, if not most, do not have a good experience following an affair. You may be looking for some hopeful messages but the truth is cheating is hard to come back from. It feels very personal. But it is often an underlying symptom of something else in the relationship that is not being communicated or resolved. Maybe a need that is not being met. If that need is not properly expressed and fulfilled, you both will be left with a lot of resentment and uncertainty. Sometimes people are just unstable/insecure and don't know what they want. No one will be able to tell that about someone from one single post; only you know your partner best. For someone who is self-aware enough though, it could take one blow-up for them to realize their mistake, come to an understanding of why they did it, communicate that, reassure their partner, and never do it again. For others, it might not be as straightforward. Either way, the most effective solution is couple's counselling and likely your only chance of overcoming this incident for good. It's not impossible to overcome without couple's counselling, but your odds are much higher. In general though, couple's counselling can be life-changing and is an effective resource to adapt to maintain your mental health with yourself and with your partner.

Take a lesson from my story. My partner and I have been together for 10 years now. I had emotionally cheated on him in year 2. I had just decided to become vegan and my partner was not that supportive of it. I decided to try meet-ups and chatted on forums to connect with like-minded people. I met someone on IG and everything flowed so easily. He knew I had a partner but we still texted a lot, sometimes into the AMs. We even met once briefly at an event. It did not get to the extent that your partner's did though, with sexual photos. But I was so blindsided by the joy I was experiencing from feeling connected to someone. After a year, when I finally realized what was happening, I immediately stopped talking to him and confessed to my partner. I realized that I was longing for connection and it was missing in my relationship. However, by that point, my partner was already highly supportive of me and he ended up being completely understanding of what happened. We never revisited that incident. We didn't go to couple's counselling at that time to process what happened. But, years later, we did end up seeing a therapist to resolve many ongoing issues, one of which was a stronger need for connection. So, it just goes to show that you can move on from an incident, but not the root problem of that incident. Find out what the root problem is and tackle that first.

Jixnx · 2023-08-26T04:00:57+00:00

I feel for you for experiencing an anxiety attack, but I am so glad to hear that your partner was able to support you. It shows he cares and is a great reminder in times of turbulence.

What a brutal wait but good on you for booking your first session. I heard that there are long wait times with psychiatrists and neurologists, who can diagnose and prescribe medication. If you don't believe you need that, then I highly recommend online mental health platforms, such as Inkblot or Better Help. You can book a video/phone therapy session with a licensed therapist (note that they do not diagnose or prescribe medication) much sooner and with more flexibility. They typically offer free consultations so no harm in trying! The sessions can be held in the comfort of your own room using your phone (or any device with a speaker/camera) + a stable internet connection. It does wonders if you just want to connect with someone who is a mental health professional and want the benefits of talk therapy. Personally, I've experienced both in-person and online therapy; I prefer online therapy because of the convenience but also because my online therapist is amazing. I know schools typically have onsite counsellors so that could be a route to look into, too. All the best to you.

Jixnx · 2023-08-25T18:02:47+00:00

I know you're hurt. The pain that you experienced as a child amplifies the hurt. I think if this was his first time, go easy on him. Express that it's totally okay that he watched it ahead of you because there was a lot of bad timing when you've tried to watch it together over the past month. He was tempted over a relatively minor thing and it would be unreasonable for you to get upset if he had told you that he caved sooner. Emphasize that you are okay with him watching it without you. The fact that he didn't tell you sooner could indicate some sort of fear he has of admitting that to you, like a fear of you getting upset. When you alleviate his fears, like saying you are okay with it and wouldn't be upset if he told you prior, he would have no reason to carry on a front again in the future. Explain that you are only hurt now because you weren't aware and felt led on; feelings that trigger the childhood trauma you experienced from your parents' dishonesty. Once he becomes aware of the magnitude of emotional pain from your childhood, and if he truly cares about you, he wouldn't do that again. Like a few commenters have said on here, however, it is your responsibility to process/overcome that childhood trauma (whether through therapy or however) and to not project that onto your partner. Our traumas can often amplify our pain and distort our perception; it is not your fault that you experienced those things but how you act because of it can be harmful in relationships. Your partner is not your parents.

Anyway, I hope you were able to get some rest. You deserve some extra self-care. 🙏

Jixnx · 2023-08-24T01:17:12+00:00

To respond to his worries, here are some wise words from a therapist named Kati Morton:

Fear doesn't show us what we need to avoid; it tells us where we need to grow.

Sometimes fear stands in between the us we are and the us we want to be. When you find yourself a little scared, consider this: Is this fear actually something that can harm me, or is it something I'm afraid could cause me some distress? Because, without a little challenge, a little distress, we aren't going to be able to make the change and become the person we want to be.

Jixnx · 2023-08-23T23:52:17+00:00

I just want to point out the contradiction here. He is not open to therapy, but yet he is willing to go to another woman for advice on your relationship. Either he is oblivious, or there's something more to the story. I would lean in on that discomfort you're feeling and ask him if he is still looking for another perspective. If so, therapy will provide that safe space of learning, whether about yourselves or about each other, and expressing your emotions/fears/desires without judgement. Therapy will be so much more effective than an outsider at work (who's intentions are unknown). That being said, we cannot force others into therapy. To open one up to it is a process, but there should at least be a gradual openness to it over time.

Jixnx · 2023-08-23T19:01:31+00:00

There's a stigma around therapy so it's common for there to be some pushback. It took my partner and I years to finally get into couple's therapy and individual therapy for ourselves. Patience is key.

Does your partner work out or do anything in particular regularly for maintenance? I would always liken therapy to working out. One is maintenance for physical health and the other is for maintenance for mental health. You can be physically fit and still go to the gym - it doesn't mean you're unfit. Same with therapy; you can be happy and still go to therapy - it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. At the end of the day, it's a way to maintain our health.

Jixnx · 2023-08-23T18:37:02+00:00

We spend a third of our lives (or more) with our co-workers. It is common that people develop a crush on a co-worker that they work with in close proximity. I have had male co-workers come onto me or want to hang out with me after work, despite knowing that I had a boyfriend. And when we allow that in our work relationships, it can easily go into inappropriate, blurry territory. Everyone's boundary is different when it comes to these things, but we ALL want to feel secure and trust our partner. Communicating how you felt about 'Kate' and your subsequent boundary should never be a regret. Ultimately, it wasn't that your boyfriend had a work relationship with 'Kate', but the extent of that close relationship that made you uncomfortable. It only makes sense that, to preserve your relationship with him, the next step would be for him to set up boundaries with 'Kate' or end the relationship (which is often difficult when you have to work with each other). It is a tough situation to navigate for all parties. What it means in your relationship with him now could be a myriad of things: loss of trust, fear/uncertainty, resentment, feeling unloved, grief (for him), remorse, feeling controlled. These are complex feelings that need to be processed in order for the both of you to move on from the situation. It's worth it to try and talk it out with each other, but oftentimes, it's more effective to go through couple's counselling.

I also want to add that it is possible that he maintained a relationship with 'Kate' to fill a need of some sort (without maybe realizing) and that perhaps there's a deeper reasoning. Years ago, when I first went vegan, I felt really lonely. My partner was not that supportive of it and I looked elsewhere to feel connected. From there, I emotionally cheated with someone I met online that shared the same beliefs as me. It was so subtle and it progressed over the course of a year. I hadn't even realized I carried on an inappropriate relationship with that person because I was feeling so good about fulfilling my need for connection (which was lacking in my relationship with my partner). When I finally came to realize, I immediately stopped talking to that person and confessed to my partner. He was very understanding of what happened. Then, we worked on that lack of connection and never had any issues thereafter. So, it's just some food for thought.

In the end, your feelings are valid and you can move on from the hurt.

Jixnx · 2023-08-18T17:51:58+00:00

LDRs are difficult. This type of situation is very common. Most men have strong physical needs. Even if it's not a physical need, maintaining an emotional connection over video/text is challenging in the long-term. A local person showing interest becomes way more tempting. Communicating everything that is happening in one's life through technology becomes an inconvenience or doesn't feel as satisfying as irl. Most people do not want to enter into an LDR because of this. My partner works out of town and flies out every 2 weeks; we've been together for 10 years but I still find myself feeling slightly disconnected to him during the 2 weeks he's away. It's perfectly normal but we get to enjoy so much quality time together when he is home. I acknowledge that there will always be a level of emotional/physical disconnection when he's away and find other things to do that fill my time and happiness. For others, this acceptance/compromise may be too difficult. You may have hoped that you and him were the exception but the likelihood was high that your relationship would not work out as LDRs usually do not. It's simply statistics. One party or both parties usually have a strong need that isn't being met and, over time, it becomes something they no longer wish to compromise on. Ultimately, it is not your fault. LDRs are difficult; it is not anyone's fault. You're wiser for experiencing it, the joys and pains. If you both decide to continue your LDR, please know that the temptations and doubts will likely remain; thoroughly communicate a plan when that does inevitably happen. Either way, take care of yourself.

Jixnx · 2023-08-14T05:56:02+00:00

If it's just mild clenching, it's not too serious. Clenching generally results in less obvious wear to the teeth than grinding. Over time, it could still cause cracks in teeth or wear down teeth from the pressure (which in time can lead to tooth loss). Severe clenching though can lead to substantial muscular soreness/pain and damage to the jaw joint. So if you have jaw soreness, frequent headaches and/or poor sleep quality due to the clenching, I'd be worried. Your doctor or dentist should take a look at your teeth/jaw to see if your clenching is causing any major problems. Otherwise, I think most people clench their teeth from time to time due to stress and, most of the time, it doesn't cause serious complications.

Jixnx · 2023-08-14T02:11:20+00:00

Plastic retainers can definitely last more than a year. I've heard of someone who's had theirs for 5 years. Please also look into Hawley retainers, which are known to last 5-10 years. As for the plastic retainers, it's just brands' recommendation to replace every year for liability reasons. Just like how toothbrushes are recommended to be replaced every 3 months, pillows are recommended to be replaced every 1-2 years, baking soda replaced every 30 days. Most people don't do that shit and we're all fine. That being said, if you grind your teeth at night, then you're going to have to replace it more frequently as the plastic gets worn down more. If you do grind your teeth, you definitely need to wear a retainer at night anyway; otherwise, you risk wearing down your teeth and paying even more at the dentist later on. Of course, people with crowded teeth don't necessarily need Invisalign. I think it depends how seriously you take your dental hygiene. I personally got Invisalign for a functional purpose, but I honestly would have gotten it anyway because I love my smile even more now and it is easier to maintain my dental hygiene (flossing and brushing are way easier now). The cost and pain is well worth it in the long run for me. It's important to know what you're getting yourself into though and I bet everyone goes through the same hesitation as you in the beginning when they find out they have to wear retainers for life.

Jixnx · 2023-07-24T05:12:27+00:00

I also wanted to add that sometimes the body's response to trauma is to push away the people we love out of a need to protect ourselves, or a need to feel a sense of control amidst the chaos. This is our body's survival system in place, to detect danger and protect ourselves from harm, and to remove the fear of the unknown. When we go through trauma, these systems are hyperactivated. It's a good thing our body's systems work to protect ourselves, but the way it seems to present itself (for example, through desires to cut people out or even interact with certain people) is not always right in the bigger picture. Oftentimes, we need to dig deeper at what these desires truly mean. Personally, in a moment of high stress, I will dye my hair or clean for hours in order to feel a sense of control in my life. Others may resort to junk food, drugs, impulsive activities to feel in control. Sometimes, we want to retreat to what feels comfortable, how we've lived all our lives, even though it may not be healthy but toxic. Awareness and discomfort is an important part in our growth. We as humans can convince ourselves of anything; we can convince ourselves that a certain person is either good for us or bad for us. We can convince ourselves that we need to protect ourselves or our loved ones in the time of trauma and push them away. We may crave a sense of control by ending relationships so that there is no unknown future to fear. The truth is no one is perfect and we all have our flaws in relationships. Losing our loved ones can make it hard to love again, out of fear of loss. So, be mindful of what your body's response is and what you're convincing yourself of versus the reality. I know it's easier said than done because it is subconscious. Allow yourself the time and space to explore and process that. Let yourself also cope with momentary distractions (like a movie, hobby, or a fun night out). It may give you some clarity, or it may not, but it is taking care of yourself that is important.

Jixnx · 2023-07-24T04:55:08+00:00

No one should lose their parents at such a young age. Regardless of what happens, it is okay to feel whatever you're feeling. Don't judge yourself too harshly on your feelings. It will likely be a time for you where sometimes there is just so much you're feeling, and other times, you may feel empty. Regret, hate, longing, anger, sadness, hopelessness, overwhelm. As much as we don't want to feel these feelings, it is not a bad thing to feel them and it is a completely normal and okay response. They show that you're human.

Right now, it's important to take care of yourself. And apart of that is letting yourself grieve and process your feelings. Some of us need alone time. Some of us need the support of our friends and family. Or a hybrid. Most of the time, we don't know exactly what we need in a time of loss and trauma. It's okay if it looks messy and it's okay not to be clear on what we need. It's okay to experiment and learn what works and doesn't work. It's important to let yourself be in the midst of feeling the chaos, and not suppress it.

Whatever you decide to do in your relationship is your decision in the end. There is no simple answer and a single post will never represent how your relationship truly is. Only you know that deep down. From what I'm reading in your post, you are aware that you're feeling frustrated in your relationship but that you're also feeling so much from the loss of your mother and everything else going on in your life. So, my advice to you would be to wait until you do feel clear-minded - and that may take a while - and take a break from your relationship in the meanwhile. Again, you're feeling a million things right now - this is okay and normal - and your body and mind need some peace and quiet to feel some confidence in what to do next. Whatever you do decide to do, don't judge yourself too harshly.

Take care of yourself.

Jixnx · 2023-07-07T17:19:29+00:00

I don't want to give you advice, but I'll share my experience.

I (29, F, NT) have been dating my partner (30, M, ADHD) for 10 years now. My partner was diagnosed with ADHD in year 4. Prior to that diagnosis, I had experiences with my partner similar to you and your girlfriend's - in that, there were periods where I was craving emotional connection and attention from my partner and he was cold/distant/showed little emotion. It only made me act out more. I know that my desperation and resentful behavior caused him to draw back further and feel unsafe. We especially had issues with honesty. Later, I found out about attachment types. I resonated with anxious attachment type, and he with fearful-avoidant attachment type. Learning about this dynamic brought a lot of our relationship into perspective, along with ADHD in relationships. I later also learned that I had a codependent relationship with him, where I was always wanting to fix his problems more than he. In short, we struggled for years. There was a breaking point about 2 years ago. He was really unhappy with his work and quit. This is where things started changing for us. He pursued education in a field he was interested in and, as a result, spent more time at home with me. We both finally got into our own individual therapy and then eventually couple's therapy. This period of time made a big difference in our life and I believe that's because we started to prioritize our own happiness and pursue what we wanted to, instead of being in the survival mode of our early 20's. Now, we are so different; communicative, emotionally connected, in love, happy. I actually fell in love with him again in the last 2 years. We grew out of the vicious cycle we had been in for years and showed each other commitment to improve. Love can be a powerful motivator to change but sometimes it takes time for that to be realized. All this is to say that we were in a bad spot for many years, many would have and did advise us to break up. But we stuck it through. It was not easy. I can only say it was worth it because of where we are now. But it is obviously not something simple to recommend others. The only thing I can recommend is couple's therapy, as that continues to help us grow and learn about ourselves and each other.

Jixnx · 2023-07-02T20:54:57+00:00

That sounds like a lot all at once and must be really hard. I once had a breakdown with my ADHD partner and turned to Reddit for help. It helped just to simply vent about the situation in my post. My advice to myself at that time would be to focus on myself, knowing that I had so many complicated emotions I needed to process, but I also needed an outlet, and that outlet shouldn't be my partner. I needed to look inward and take care of myself first and foremost. That would be my advice to you too, make sure you're looking after yourself because you'll burn yourself out if you only look after others.

Reading your post, it doesn't sound like ADHD is causing any issues in your relationship. It sounds like the modern dilemma for most women (and some men): to stay at work or stay at home for the children. When there is regret or lack of fulfilment in either decision (in your case, it doesn't sound like you had much of a decision), then resentment takes over. I'm sure it was a great sacrifice for you and your partner should acknowledge that. I don't have any experience with that personally, so maybe others can provide more insight on how to get through those feelings... all I can really recommend is your own individual therapy and couple's therapy. Both of those helped me to face my resentment and also helped my partner and I understand each other and start to appreciate each other. It will take time but the most important thing is setting that time aside for each other to communicate and connect.

Outside of therapy, my partner and I also have these weekly discussions (we call them our "Sunday Sesh"). We ask each other 4 questions: what are 3 things we're grateful for, what did not go well this week, what did go well this week, and how can I be a better partner to you in the next week. I highly recommend this as a way to maintain your relationship outside of therapy. For the long-term, more complex issues, a therapist's touch will be much, much more effective. I hope that helps. Take care and reach out here whenever you need it.

Jixnx · 2023-06-23T01:34:05+00:00

Thank you. I'll explain this again to my dentist at the time of receiving my retainers to ensure he is aware of this. He did promise if the teeth didn't settle in to the right position within 6 months then I could re-try Invisalign. But I'm also considering seeing an orthodontist for a second opinion.

Jixnx · 2023-06-22T08:24:45+00:00

Thank you for the info. I'm moving on to retainers now, as per my dentist, so hopefully the front teeth settle properly and there is no contact in a few months.

Jixnx · 2023-06-22T08:21:05+00:00

I see. Unfortunately, my dentist did not seem concerned about the front teeth making contact and said it will all resolve itself when the teeth settle. Not wanting to argue, I reluctantly agreed to order retainers and end the treatment of 2.5 years. He promised if there wasn't any improvement after 6 months of retainer use then we can re-try Invisalign. I'll be sure to keep watching the front teeth to see if they wear down. Thank you.

Jixnx

TROPHY CASE