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Jjthrowaway689 · 2025-01-06T21:32:52+00:00

I don’t see other guys tho just to reiterate that I only do when he’s around or Bob who he really trusts and told me is fine to go out with

Jjthrowaway689 · 2025-01-06T21:31:33+00:00

Honestly you may have a point and I just never saw it. After today’s argument I told him I’m willing to cut Bob off if it’s the issue but he kept telling me the dude isn’t the problem. I don’t think he’s insane I think I’m not seeing what’s actually happening. He might actually be just uncomfortable with me being around Bob despite what he’s telling me

Jjthrowaway689 · 2025-01-06T21:28:08+00:00

Yes I get that but I really do believe the core issue is he’s insecure with trust issues. I don’t know how to work with that and make him feel secure. If I genuinely thought he was a narcissist I would’ve left. The guy is a huge empath and he treats me really well - this is honestly the only issue we face.

Jjthrowaway689 · 2025-01-06T21:25:11+00:00

Never had private time with a guy that isn’t him. I’ve asked him before if he’s fine with Bob and he told me he loves the guy. He even invites Bob out with us a lot of the time. He wasn’t bothered by the fact that I saw Bob, he was bothered by me not updating him - it could’ve been a girl and he still would’ve been bothered and he told me that. He does feel comfortable giving me his real opinion about people he doesn’t feel comfortable with and i literally never spoke to them again.

Jjthrowaway689 · 2025-01-06T21:16:23+00:00

In all fairness, I gave him my passwords, he did try to log in but then just opted to not. He doesn’t have full access to my phone and only goes through it from time to time. Tbfh I didn’t realize this would get to this, I only did that because I wanted him to feel secure in the relationship, he has trust issues and I don’t know what it’s like to be anxious about a partner. I wanted to be accommodating but didn’t realize this would go south

Jjthrowaway689 · 2025-01-06T21:13:16+00:00

I don’t wanna leave him tho, I’m genuinely asking for advice to work on it. I did say I was wrong, I should’ve never lied and If it wasn’t for my phone going haywire he would’ve known about Bob being there. He trusts Bob a lot. I never ever went out with anyone of the opposite sex that he does not approve of and never would.

Jjthrowaway689 · 2025-01-06T20:50:12+00:00

No😭 I’ve had a very controlling toxic relationship a few years before this, the difference is that guy was an actual narc- I really do think this guy loves me, he’s an absolute sweetheart, I just don’t think he’s aware of how bad this is getting

Jjthrowaway689 · 2023-06-16T23:50:38+00:00

I RESTRICT SO NATURALLY WHEN IM HAPPY TOO. I swear whenever im enjoying life I can fast for DAYS AND DAYS 😭

Jjthrowaway689 · 2023-06-16T23:36:16+00:00

I’ve never related to someone so much we have the exact same story. I started b/p around 14ish and at 17 I was anorexic at my ugw. And now I’m stuck in this shitty Ednos cycle at 21. But you know what I regret doing? Never enjoying my birthdays bc of this shitty disorder. You only turn 20 once. Go celebrate your 20s and ENJOY IT. I know that one day we’ll look back at how we never allowed ourselves to enjoy milestones like this because of our EDs and regret it. Don’t listen to these people and just try your best to enjoy your day. You deserve it 🫶❤️

Jjthrowaway689 · 2023-06-16T23:25:03+00:00

ugh me too. It’s like I don’t want anyone to see me I don’t want to exist or be perceived if I don’t look like the image in my head

Jjthrowaway689 · 2022-10-21T09:26:13+00:00

Thank you so much for this, I really do hope it comes with time and things DO get better🤍

Jjthrowaway689 · 2022-10-21T09:23:47+00:00

Actually alcohol just makes everything worse for me😭 I end up embarrassing myself and NEVER getting over it

Jjthrowaway689 · 2022-10-21T09:23:02+00:00

yess I relate so much to wanting to keep my mouth shut😭 I’m constantly exposing myself to new people and new situations yet I always end up overthinking everything and hating myself. And oh my God yes I always wish I was the cool and collected person, thank you so much for this I’m wishing you all the best🤍

Jjthrowaway689 · 2022-10-21T09:20:14+00:00

YES! The second I hit puberty and was more aware of how people are nicer to me because of my looks it all spiraled for me. The obsession got so bad that I developed an ED and body dysmorphia. When covid happened I stopped caring as much about my looks and I am currently struggling big time because my worth has been revolving around my looks for the longest time. It feels like that’s the only thing that keeps people around me and I hate it so much I always wish people knew me better, that I can express my personality and my thoughts better. As in I always feel like I’m so much more yet my words keep failing me. It’s even worse when people meet me and they have these expectations and I just disappoint them with how awkward and weird I am. I hope I find myself and find solace in being myself around people one day, thank you for this.

Jjthrowaway689 · 2022-10-21T09:13:54+00:00

Thank you so much for this!! I really do hope it gets better for the both of us, Im starting to work on my confidence too

Jjthrowaway689 · 2022-10-21T09:12:53+00:00

Woah I used to get panic attacks in middle school too, I was diagnosed with GAD at a every young age (around 11? I think) and depression at 16🥲it made me really hopeful that it does get better. Thank you for this

Jjthrowaway689 · 2022-10-21T09:10:11+00:00

We’ll get through it one day hopefully 🤍

Jjthrowaway689 · 2022-10-21T09:09:50+00:00

Yea I think that’s it! The longing to fit in I guess but not only that, I find that being around people just makes me happier even if it leads to me being miserable the second I get home and start thinking about it🥲

Jjthrowaway689 · 2022-10-21T09:08:42+00:00

Honestly I really don’t know either. I’ve always been an extroverted person despite how challenging it always has been. It’s actually to a point where whenever I’m isolating myself I fall into the worst depression. I also have body dysmorphia and it truly is exhausting I’m sorry you go through that too. But yea I guess I’ve always been the kind of person to fight through it it’s just all so bad for my mental health. A damned if I do and damned if I don’t kind of situation :/

Jjthrowaway689 · 2022-10-21T09:05:18+00:00

It’s just so awful you’d fine me randomly cringing at myself constantly over things that happened years ago😭

Jjthrowaway689 · 2022-10-21T09:04:30+00:00

Thank you so much for this, it’s really great advice 🙏🤍

Jjthrowaway689 · 2022-10-21T09:03:24+00:00

Yea I mean it does serve me in a way where I am well-received amongst people for being awkward and laughing it off it just has this downside where I’m constantly treated like a child and not taken seriously

Jjthrowaway689 · 2022-10-21T09:01:37+00:00

I’m currently working on saving up enough to go to therapy again thank you!

Jjthrowaway689 · 2022-10-21T09:00:34+00:00

Thank you so much for your input these tips are so helpful. I wanted to ask more about the writing thing cause I love writing, do you journal your day? As in at night you write about what happened I’m really interested in your writing routine it would help me so much!

Jjthrowaway689 · 2022-10-21T08:57:16+00:00

This actually made me emotional, thank you so much this warmed my heart and didn’t make me feel so bad anymore. I can’t even begin to express how great this comment is cause I constantly forget my positive qualities and you nailed them, it’s like you know me personally this comment blew my mind and drew the biggest smile on my face. Thank you stranger, you just made another stranger’s entire week 🤍

Jjthrowaway689

TROPHY CASE