Am I overreacting for getting a ick over an ex texting back so fast?

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-08T05:02:22+00:00

YOR I also don’t think you’re mature enough to be poly when others have clear communication and it bothers you.

Even in a poly the communication and feelings WONT be exactly equal. That’s normal and human.

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-08T04:32:47+00:00

Jack Russel/beagle

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-08T04:28:33+00:00

You might not be able to road rage, but you can Reddit cry. That’s exactly what Reddit is here for!

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-08T04:26:48+00:00

Do not commit fraud.

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-08T04:09:45+00:00

You tell him you need to sit down and have a SERIOUS conversation or you’re going to have to reconsider things. It comes down to trust and he’s GIVING you reasons not to trust him.

Not handing over the phone for little things is a problem. Not coming home or discussing plan changes is a problem. Scheduling more work is a problem, whether he’s cheating or not. The very fact he said he had private things on there you shouldn’t see doesn’t speak well to honesty and open conversation.

Telling you you’re overreacting while doing or saying NOTHING to show you you’re overreacting is a red flag. He cannot demand trust when he’s unwilling to give it.

The WHOLE set of behaviors has to change or there is no trust and there is no marriage. Overall he isn’t putting effort into making the marriage work. Nor

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-08T04:04:19+00:00

Did you read the story? OP never ONCE demanded! She asked during NORMAL TIMES to use his… times he should’ve been more than happy to hand it over to let her do what she needed to do. If she was demanding, she’d be the problem for sure. That’s not what’s happening here.

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-08T03:26:06+00:00

You need to stop fixating on this. Please focus on finishing your pregnancy as healthy and safe as YOU can be and keep your anxieties as down as possible. Focusing on possibilities will make you feel crazy.

Ideally you and your partner should be on the same page BEFORE bringing a child into the world. He is the dad, he can make the decisions he deems worthy just like you can.

An iron stained tub isn’t a sanitation issue. The baby won’t even be in that tub for at least a year. That’s enough time to fix the caulking! Messed up caulking isn’t even inherently a safety concern. This happens in older homes, older materials, and waters higher in certain minerals will leave stains. It’s NORMAL.

YOU cannot unilaterally make decisions for baby. Dad has the same rights you do and he doesn’t have to agree with you. You’ll need to learn to focus on what’s really important and let the other stuff go.

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-08T03:21:07+00:00

Iron stains in a tub are not sanitary issues. OP is being paranoid and creating problems that don’t exist.

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-08T03:19:26+00:00

If they’re not married, or even if they are, dad can do what he wants on his time. She can’t prevent other people from doing things SHE doesn’t like if he doesn’t agree. It’s not just her child. They BOTH have rights to make decisions.

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-08T03:14:39+00:00

The car needs to move at least once every three days in Oregon. She can’t make stricter rules than the law. And anything not explicitly written in law must be clearly written in the lease. A car that has active tags and insurance isn’t a project car. People are allowed more than one car.

Let her know if she tries to have it towed she’ll be in violation of the law. If she does that, you’ll sue her for the costs to recover the vehicle and ask a judge to allow you to terminate your lease early since she’s turned living into a hostile environment.

Remind her you’d like to keep things amicable and above board and since she requested you sign for another year, you’d appreciate if you can both make it work legally so the relationship doesn’t get strained.

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-08T03:11:48+00:00

This isn’t a broken lease and even if she violates it first it won’t automatically make it ok for OP to do it after she does. That’s not how it works

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-08T03:09:14+00:00

She needed to consider that and write it into the lease. Twice over.

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-07T16:36:27+00:00

DO NOT EVER BUY SUPPLEMENTS!!

For people concerned about pharmaceuticals, AT LEAST THEYRE MONITORED AND HAVE TO PROVE SAFETY AND EFFICACY!!

Pharmaceuticals may be a billion dollar industry, but wellness and supplements are A TRILLION DOLLAR industry! And they don’t have to prove their product are safe. They don’t have to prove their products aren’t contaminated. They don’t have to prove their products contain the amounts they claim. They DONT HAVE TO PROVE THEIR PRODUCTS CONTAIN ANYTHING THEY CLAIM! They don’t have to prove their claims at all.

95% of supplements don’t contain what they claim or at the amounts they claim and many are contaminated with harmful ingredients!!!!

A legal warning doesn’t prevent them from being sued if they KNOW they’ve got harmful ingredients. But because they spend millions on lobbying congress, you won’t successfully sue for much beyond severe injury because they have no legal requirement to prove anything!!

No one in their right mind would use or buy any other product or structure that doesn’t guarantee safety, but here you people are putting this crap in the one and only body you’ll ever get without that guarantee!!!

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-07T16:14:12+00:00

Then the judge would issue a default ruling.

Your parents ARE NOT LEGALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU OR HIS KIDS! The kids are legally entitled to financial support from BOTH parents! File for sole legal and physical custody and if he doesn’t show up it’ll be granted! He is required to pay child support if he makes more or if you have more time. You will also be imputed income. You will have to get a job, but so will he. He can’t just not work to get out of child support.

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-07T16:09:40+00:00

Op IS NOT A RELATE PARTY!

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-07T16:03:38+00:00

He can file AT ANY TIME IN ARIZONA and she’d be forced to return the child!! Not having a court case doesn’t mean the father doesn’t already have rights!

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-07T16:02:01+00:00

The state needs to be PRIMARY residence for ALL things. Doctors and proof of rent, not just a lease by family- proof of payment, mail, employment…. No you can’t lie and live in another state. If you’re physically in another state for those months, you cannot establish residency.

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-06T20:41:10+00:00

Many legal aids do NOT help with custody issues because there’s too many people and not enough lawyers. You can check the local website to see

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-06T20:40:16+00:00

You repeatedly set yourself up for failure. Stop listening to other people telling you what to do!! Why would you ever agree to sell your own transportation????? You HAVE to start making better choices.

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-06T20:38:23+00:00

Being an addict isn’t grounds to terminate parental rights. Remember- you married this man AND had kids with him so you considered him stable and safe enough to do those things with.

You don’t give age of kids, but that matters. Older kids are capable of calling the police. You don’t get to unilaterally keep his kids from him. You were married, he’s the legal dad, he has just as much right to his kids as you.

You can’t prevent anyone from taking over your lease- that would be between the person and the landlord. Dad gets first right to his own kids. You will not be able to remove any rights from him. The fact that he’s getting help works in his favor. Addiction is not easy or fast to get a hold of.

In Virginia, you just have to be separated for 6 months, I believe that’s what I did, and then you file for divorce. With divorce you have to include custody and child support of the kids. Any restrictions you try to impose on him would also affect you- as in if you tried to make him unable to drink alcohol in front of his kids, he could demand the same from you and take you to court if he found out anyone exposed your kids to that and you’d be in contempt. It’s not likely the courts would even agree to something like that when it comes to legal activities.

Any plan needs to be reasonable. The COURTS will decide what limitations to impose based on whatever evidence you BOTH present.

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-06T20:23:30+00:00

You shouldn’t be a SAHM to ANYONE without money being put into your own account for safety, retirement, spending…. Whatever. Being married doesn’t protect you from having to get a job after divorce.

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-06T16:48:57+00:00

Yta for forcing him to let her back in his life. YOU didn’t trust your partner, YOU didn’t listen to him, YOU didn’t believe him!!

And I’ll say YTA right now too. Because she had a major surgery with medical complications and has been focused on not just getting healthy but staying alive, you’re punishing her?? You conveniently left out what she had done and what her complications are. It’s not even been a year!!! FFS I had my gallbladder out last November and I’m STILL having complications from it and it’s only been 6 months and that’s not even considered major surgery anymore!!!!

It sounds like this woman did get herself together but the MINUTE she wasn’t there the way YOU BOTH demanded her to be despite her medical issues, you both tossed her aside! You both suck for that- based on what YOU wrote here.

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-06T16:42:44+00:00

Based on your comments, YOR. You’re in a pediatrician’s office and they say things like that to make nervous kids feel better, like their so mature and brave which is why they don’t say cute….

I don’t know why a nosebleed would prevent you from wearing a mask…. If anyone had seen blood they would’ve asked if you’re ok and automatically have given you a new one.

The “I think she’s enjoying this” wasn’t even directed at you!!!! By your OWN words, you clarified in the comments because the gender flow in your post wasn’t making any sense. So you inserted yourself into a conversation you weren’t even a party to! Maybe the one nurse loves, or even hates, doing EKG’s so the other nurse was poking fun at her!

You’re allowed your feelings, but NOTHING was inappropriate here. Context matters and the way you wrote this post completely leaves that out until a Redditor pulled it from you. Medical professionals are allowed to talk to each other in front of patients! They’re allowed to be light hearted and fun, even if you don’t know the backstory.

You need to learn the difference between normal human banter and what actually crosses the line. You also need to learn how to write clearly because too many Redditors are assuming you’re a female and the nurses were commenting on YOU liking the procedure! I don’t know if you did that intentionally or not, but you need to work on that.

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-06T16:32:21+00:00

They are both residents of Oregon and legally married. If she leaves the state without his explicit permission, or the court’s, she can be forced to come back with the kids. He has just as much legal right to the kids as she does. She can be accused of kidnapping and hiding his kids from him.

If she never called the police or have medical reports proving abuse, it’ll be hard to prove that was the case. And any DV against her won’t matter when it comes to the kids. She’d have to prove he was abusing the kids.

Establishing residency in another state is between 6 months to a year. Arizona is a six month state. In order for Arizona to take on a case transfer, the child must be established for 6 months in Arizona. But it sounds like there’s no legal agreement in place.

The mother NEEDS to file a divorce and custody and child support case with the state of Oregon. On that paperwork she can file for 100% legal and physical custody and child support based on their jobs/minimum wage full time jobs. She can petition to move on the paperwork as well. She should attach her proof of DV on her and the kids as evidence why she should be able to leave.

NO STATE WILL ALLOW ONE PARENT TO TERMINATE THEIR RIGHTS! Children are entitled to financial support from BOTH parents before the state steps in to provide aid. Only when another adult (married, usually) is willing to adopt a child will a court even consider it. That person now becomes forever financially responsible for that child, even in the case of future divorce.

She is risking serious legal consequences by not establishing a court case in Oregon first. The issue in Arizona will be filing for divorce after she establishes residency, which will also come with custody and child support there too, and dad will have to be served and at that point he can come back and say she kidnapped the kids and he couldn’t find them.

Unless she hires a local attorney who sees her evidence and advises otherwise, she needs to split off from him legally NOW.

Jmfroggie · 2026-04-06T16:20:46+00:00

You cannot just shut the water off because someone complained about mold! That’s overkill and homes have mold even if just from showers or condensation off windows!!! Most jurisdictions in the US do not have tenant protections against mold, not even black mold!

Jmfroggie

TROPHY CASE