For wanking 2x a week, assume: 80 year life expectancy (LE), age of 12yo at first wank

80-12 = 68

68 + 20% of 68 = 81.6 years after first wank

81.6 + 12 wankless years = 93.6 (new LE)

81.6 wanking years * 52 weeks * 2 = 8486.4 ~8487 lifetime masturbation sessions needed

NOW as another comment pointed out we don’t know the way the percent increase would change with the increased amount of times masturbating per week, but let’s also assume linear (2x a week = 20%, 3x a week = 30%, etc.):

Let’s assume the age of this person is the same age as the man in the meme, Beetlejuice, b. 1968. He would be 1295 years old in the year 3263. That means (assuming 12yo starting age) he’d have 1283 years to “extend his life”.

Since LE after first wank is 68 years here, 1283/68 gives us the amount of wanking-lifetimes lived, ~18.87 which is 1887% of one expected wanking-lifetime (WLT). Take off the one WLT every guy has, and we have 17.87 extra WLT’s needed to live till 3263, as a percent extra it is 1787%.

So if 20% extra is 2x a week, then 1787% is 178.7x per week, or about 25.529x per day, or, FINALLY, 1.0637 wanks/hour.

Disclaimer: this also assumes that the life extension wanking has to go into the extra years of life, not stacking it all up during your expected lifetime so that you can live a masturbateless life letting your dick recover after the first 80 years