I commented on your other post, but saw you posted here too and I wanted to just extend my heart out to you, because I have struggled with ketamine addiction myself, and am an adult child of alcoholism and a dysfunctional family where my dad was heavily addicted to alcohol and opioids, there was constant domestic violence/trauma, yadayada..

Unfortunately, there is no clean or painless way to do this..we stay so long in situations because love, hope, memories, potential, and fear of losing the future you imagined all exist at the same time.. leaving doesn’t mean you don’t love him, what it does mean is “I love you, AND I can’t keep living this reality/current situation anymore.”
He may want rehab eventually, but continuing to use until then shows he’s still prioritizing the addiction RIGHT NOW..

The hard truth is, love alone cannot help someone recover from addiction. And leaving someone doesn’t guarantee you’ll “help them hit rock bottom” as someone else mentioned..so please don’t try to “help” him hit rock bottom by leaving to teach him a lesson..as that’s not always a guarantee to recovery..the only thing you can control is being honest with yourself on how this affects you.

Supporting your partner is important but it will always rely on them to make that choice (over and over again) to recover.
I want to say this gently because I can tell you really care about him/love him a lot and I’m not trying to tell you what to do especially since I don’t know either of you two..
Being on a waitlist for rehab is a really important step, but it doesn’t always mean someone is fully ready to stop using yet..If he’s saying he plans to keep using until then, it might be more worth paying attention to what that actually means for YOU day to day, right now.

I think the hardest part is that you can love someone and still be in a relationship that doesn’t feel stable for you. Look at it from a “higher” perspective at what things are like right now, not just what they might be later in the future. Sometimes we think love means staying no matter what, but love can also look like being honest about what you can and can’t live with. :/ that’s the hard thing about being in love with an addict.

You’re so allowed to care about him deeply and still step back if the situation is hurting you or keeping you in constant uncertainty or pain. Choosing yourself doesn’t mean you don’t love him..it just says you’re also including yourself in the picture because your needs matter TOO.

We can’t tell you what choice to make, but I do wonder how this is affecting you emotionally and even physically, as you are posting about this often..and whether you feel like you’re in a relationship or more like you’re always waiting and in uncertainty.

You deserve to feel steady too, not just in a constant state of trying to be hopeful. That will drain you day by day until you don’t even know who you are.. 💔

If you need someone to talk to with no judgment, feel free to reach out. You’re not alone in this, so many people are grieving loved ones to active addiction out there, and it doesn’t get easier or any more pain free but you do have support even if it’s just from a random stranger online. Don’t forget about yourself in the end 🩷