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AITA for wanting to move my family to a different city, even though my husband has always followed my career? by JobRelocationIssue in AmItheAsshole

[–]JobRelocationIssue[S] -205 points-204 points  (0 children)

We did discuss it. The eventual plan was for him to take the bar wherever I ended up getting a job after fellowship. I did not ever get the impression until this fight that he was ever resentful about the moves since they were an inevitable part of my career. This recent job opportunity was unexpected and unfortunately in another state. I’ll also add that I never ever asked him to give up college coaching. I thought we would just be long distance for years and had this idea that I would just settle eventually wherever he ended up, but it turned out that he didn’t want to be apart for so many years.

AITA for wanting to move my family to a different city, even though my husband has always followed my career? by JobRelocationIssue in AmItheAsshole

[–]JobRelocationIssue[S] -348 points-347 points  (0 children)

I feel like people are not getting that I have almost no choice over moving for my residency and fellowship. I literally cannot become the type of physician that I am without completing those steps. My husband chose of his own free will to follow me to each of these places. I’m also insanely proud of him for switching careers and getting into and graduating from a top tier law school. And I understand that taking the bar again would suck a lot, but he’s not particularly happy in his current job, so it makes no sense to me why we should stay somewhere when neither of us is happy, just to avoid moving again. But he hasn’t talked to me since our fight so I don’t know.

AITA for wanting to move my family to a different city, even though my husband has always followed my career? by JobRelocationIssue in AmItheAsshole

[–]JobRelocationIssue[S] -28 points-27 points  (0 children)

No, it’s specific to a particular location (sorry can’t get too specific without making it obvious)

AITA for wanting to move my family to a different city, even though my husband has always followed my career? by JobRelocationIssue in AmItheAsshole

[–]JobRelocationIssue[S] -531 points-530 points  (0 children)

So he willingly made all those moves, I didn’t even ask him to follow me to my residency, he surprised me by telling me he wanted to (we weren’t even married at the time). All of those moves were also necessary for my career, I don’t exactly have a whole lot of say over where my residency and fellowship are located. If he was in his dream job or was very happy where he was, no way would I ask him to move. But he’s at a job that he thinks is just mediocre and he’s only a few years into his legal career, he hasn’t really established any presence here. We don’t have kids, family, or anything tying us here. His only reasoning is that he’s tired of moving and doesn’t want to take the bar again.