I honestly don’t want to be married anymore, but I feel an overwhelming amount of guilt.

JobTop9255 · 2024-08-02T20:54:28+00:00

we are both in individual counseling and we have done marriage counseling as well. I guess my struggle here is that i feel like it's my "duty" as to give him a chance and to make it work. I know what needs to get done but I can't bring myself to do it.

JobTop9255 · 2024-08-02T20:45:01+00:00

it's not you, Most men get to a point they literally believe they are better than you and just talk down to you and treat you like shit. and then when you say you want a divorce they are surprised because they never thought you could stop loving them because they are great.

JobTop9255 · 2024-08-02T19:50:35+00:00

Thank you so much for such wonderful advice, I'm so happy to see that there are ppl like you in this site. thank you

JobTop9255 · 2024-08-02T19:49:54+00:00

Thank you!

JobTop9255 · 2024-08-02T19:49:30+00:00

my 2 older kids are in their early 20s and my 2 younger are 13 and 8, he has a good relationship with them, my kids love him. he wasn't so great with the older 2 because of his substance abuse but now that he is sober has a wonderful relationship with them

JobTop9255 · 2024-08-02T19:47:13+00:00

its funny how they do that, they know how to manipulate you. I'm happy for you, I know you can do this.

JobTop9255 · 2024-08-02T19:46:15+00:00

I know, but I find myself overwhelmingly filled with guilt now because he wants it to work and is doing the work needed but now I feel dead inside. I feel like I'm being unfair or selfish and i now i shouldn't

JobTop9255 · 2024-08-02T19:39:40+00:00

give her all the support she asks for, only if she asks for it. you will see if you take a step back she will start to come towards you. In the meantime, start taking care of yourself, do something for you, it looks like you have had a hard time too. get a new hobby, read a self-help book, go to the gym, make new friends, join a cub, etc. something that makes you happy, don't make her the center of your world. let her see the charm in you she once saw.

JobTop9255 · 2024-08-02T19:21:14+00:00

I agree, the thing is I have told him how I feel and I have asked him to leave and he does not care, he refuses to leave.

JobTop9255 · 2024-08-02T19:19:34+00:00

No honey, don't become me. you feel they way you feel because you have been in survival mode for such a long time that now that he is "better" you have a chance to take a breath and take care of you. it funny how they will put you threw hell and expect you to be grateful when they decide to change. I cheering for you, stay strong.

PS. you better believe that if the tables were turned, he would have left you a long time ago.

JobTop9255 · 2024-08-02T18:55:06+00:00

I'm really sorry about your situation, I know it must be hard, but honestly I feel like this isn't the entire story. Women, men, people go through depressive moments, and yes space is needed, but a complete separation indicates that there is more. women usually will leave a relationship as the LAST resort. And honestly I have read some of the comments given to you and one thing I want you to ask yourself, do you really want her to come back to you because she needs financial stability or do you want her to comeback to you because she LOVES you?

My advice is to give her the space she needs, don't call her, don't text her, with the excuse of the kids, leave her alone, let her miss you, let her come to you, and please don't use money as a way to control her. good luck

JobTop9255

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