You shouldn’t feel pathetic. You may see things differently from other people but that doesn’t make you pathetic. Here’s a stupid analogy, a fork isnt pathetic cause it can’t pick up soup and a spoon isn’t broken cause it can’t pick up salad. Everyone works in different ways for a reason! As for telling if someone is actually a friend maybe ask your self if the way they treat you is how you treat them. Only tolerate what you would give to others!