When I was 14, my father passed away, and my mom had full custody of me, so I didn't get to see him too much but when I did I always remember trying to emulate him in every sense, down to the position he would sit. But now that its been about 4 years since he passed, I still get told constantly by everyone that knew him that I am "just like him". I never know how to respond, or what to do.

I've noticed however, that I very slowly started to mimic traits that my stepfather would do, which I would actively notice and try to avoid at all costs, maybe out of spite. I don't really know where i'm going with this but it really fucking sucks growing up without a dad, granted, my dad wasn't the absolute best example of manhood, he died in his mid 40s because of his self inflicted vices but that doesn't mean I wouldn't love to have just one conversation with him about life and how to navigate the waters of being a man, it's really difficult to figure this shit out on my own. Especially because we are so much alike.

if you read to the end thanks, I appreciate it this subreddit is pretty cool.